hope you're alright ☀ aizawa

[arcy]

Izuku is .. a little overworked, honestly. He's been doing his best to contribute to the clan in between whatever shit he's doing it. See -- he was .. a little more caught up on Frosthealer duties now. Feels a little more secure once nobody has gotten hurt lately. But he's also been trying to contribute in other ways -- Izuku was no Arcticplayer, but he didn't need to be to organize an event. It's not like he had a lot to do, especially since he didn't sleep. Which lead to him taking a lot of self-inflicted tasks. So it was kind of .. Izuku's .. fault. Oops. But, y'know, here was a concept. Getting Aizawa up to actually be a good Snowseeker. Seriously, what had he done besides .. be there.
So Izuku, of course, sets out to find the lion. He'd probably pester the lion into doing something with him despite Izuku probably being some half hour from passing out entirely. He had things to do. Aizawa probably wasn't, though. Maybe just a thing or two. Did Aizawa do patrols? Sometimes, maybe. Anyways. "Aizawa?" Izuku calls, tail giving a swish. He should be around here somewhere.
//[member=445]aizawa[/member]

☀ what was i worth

[guts]

Really, he didn't know how to feel about being Snowseeker. He hadn't even been there when he was promoted, so it was all a little weird. All-in-all, he was reluctant to do his duties, mostly because he didn't want to fuck up again. He wasn't sure if he could take it again. He already felt like a failure enough as it was. How could he expect himself to possibly lead a clan one day? He couldn't, he couldn't trust himself with anyone's lives anymore. His becoming a teacher had been proven to be a mistake, maybe even being a hero.

Aizawa was, of course, avoiding his responsibilities currently. That was all he knew how to do anymore, it would seem--run away from memories, people, things he had to do, everything. Of course it wasn't the best way of coping, but it was his way and he'd be damned if he actually faced the music, even if he was a hypocrite and wanted Toshinori to do so.

His head lifts up from the couch cushion it was rested on, bleary eyes turning to acknowledge Izuku. He blinks, mouth opening in a wide yawn, before he finally speaks, voice raspy with sleep. "What?" usually the maine coon didn't come seeking him out, mostly because they were still in a pretty tense relationship. Maybe it was from him basically telling him he could never be a hero. Hey, at least he had stated the truth, considering he died early on. Whoops.

"SPEECH"

⚝⚝⚝
tags

[arcy]

The instant Aizawa said literally any that out loud, Izuku would be on his case. Christ, just step down if you don't want to be in charge of all of these people. And Izuku may not have become a hero, but he'd accepted that. Or, he would until Aizawa said he'd failed in becoming one. Then Izuku would be onto pretty passive aggressive, self-destructive tendencies. Fun stuff. And, well, Izuku hadn't used to be so .. awful. He was an awful person. But then there was months on his own and sometimes people hurt him if he wasn't good enough and couldn't do what they expected. It was generally less painful when he went through with whatever tasks they demand of him. There was .. a lot of reasons Izuku was the way he was. Most of it occurred while he was on his own. Izuku had effectively forgotten how to interact with people without violence or other people with ulterior motives, and then he'd gotten to his old groups. Which was how he re-learned. And learning how to interact with people again from a bunch of clan cats wasn't the greatest time.
"We're gonna plan an event. Just a little one. You can't just be doing nothing," Izuku, upon hearing Aizawa's voice, makes over to boss him around, of course. The Frosthealer is frowning, but his voice is only mildly chiding. He got that Aizawa was lazy, but Izuku wasn't gonna let himself be the only one doing this stuff. He begged for the day that they got their ranks more filled out so Izuku wouldn't have to live with this. He's the Frosthealer, not the jack-of-all-trades rank. Very gently, he attempts to bap the lion's nose, just because he feels like it. "Like it or not, you're either Snowseeker or not, let's go," Izuku was .. restless. He needed something to do. And this was why he didn't sleep because then he ended up at a weird in-between to 'i need to do something' and 'i want to pass out and never wake up again. Was that concerning? Maybe to other people. Izuku barely noticed anymore. He'd had worse feelings before. Sometimes when he looks down from high places he thinks 'i could fall and die wouldnt that be neat', but other times he just wants to fly. There wasn't any rhyme or rhythm to it, really.

☀ what was i worth

[guts]

Aizawa hadn't meant to put all the burden on Izuku, especially since he was trying to settle into his healer position. But that had just been how the cookie crumbled, and he knew he should have been doing better, but it was hard to be motivated when you felt the risk of failing again looming over you all the time. Still, he felt like a failure just sitting there. So what was there to do? Face the music, or just be a lump on a couch? Well, he had already made his choice.

He narrows his eyes at his words, but he can't really say much, because he was right. He had never expected to be lectured by one of his students, yet here he was. Life had a funny way of kicking his ass, huh. "Fine," he says begrudgingly, sitting up and craning his neck, listening to the faint pop sound it made as he stretched it out. "What do you want, Midoriya? A pity party?" his voice takes on a sudden edge, brows furrowing. "Believe it or not, we didn't just sacrifice our lives for you--we did it to save everyone. So stop moping just because everyone is dead. It's all said and done now,"

Not only was he saying it for Izuku, but for himself, too. It was over and they could all move on, for better or for worse.

"SPEECH"

⚝⚝⚝
tags

[arcy]

Izuku was doing his best to support Snowbound, thanks. He was Frosthealer now, and he was stuck as one, and Izuku was just gonna live with that. .. To be honest? If it weren't for all of his damn classmates here, he would've already left behind everything about his old life behind. Still, Izuku feels a jolt of relief, a grin stretching across his face as he turns to chirp something back -- and then it falls. Hesitant confusion. Then, his expression begins to close off, distancing himself.
"What the fuck," Izuku doesn't usually swear, but he looks a little incredulous. Where had that come from? What, was Aizawa just trying to antagonize him? It's not the words that have Izuku's fur bushing in anger and frustration, but how undeserved it was. Seriously, where the hell did that come from? His tail lashes. "You think I don't know that? Where did this come from? A cheap grab because I want you to support the clan?" He's getting defensive, expression twisting. He doesn't get it. Everytime he tries to spend time with Aizawa, the lion always has to turn it around. What had Izuku done? He doesn't get it. He .. doesn't really know how to handle this situation, really. Doesn't know how to react to this because he doesn't get it. So -- he distances himself. Rewinds himself straight back to how he was when people would do shit like this. Which is .. not the greatest idea, but Izuku is frustrated. He just wants to know what the hell he did to warrant this. ".. I see. Okay. Fuck off. I've been trying to adjust to this, but unlike you, I spent months thinking I was the only one, would be the only one. I don't know what happened to you guys, I didn't ever ask for the story. I would've left everything behind already if it weren't for everyone showing up," What happened to everyone who turned up in this world? What happened before then? Izuku didn't ask. And yeah, maybe blaming himself for a domino effect was a bit victimizing, but Izuku didn't know what else to do but take the fucking blame. "What do you want from me?" Izuku had been trying to look on the bright side of things. At least he found them before they had to be in the wild alone. At least they're with him. At least he can take care of them. And it's just so unfair that Aizawa has to get on his case about this right now. He's a mess and he can't deal with this right now, he just wanted to get something nice set up, try and get Aizawa up and being a better Snowseeker. That was all. Maybe, if Aizawa had said it at literally any other time and not out of the fucking blue. And yeah, maybe Izuku is being dramatic about this, and maybe he's stress-crying just a little. Aizawa is going to get even more upset at him now and then Izuku is going to get even angrier and then their entire tense relationship would be broken and everyone would hate him because Aizawa was Snowseeker and maybe just a little right and it's all Izuku's fucking fault.

[glow=black,2,300]I WONT BE HERE LONG AT ALL ☀[/glow]