memento mori ⚝ izuku's journals

[arcy]

[align=center][div style="0px; width:400px; height:auto; text-align: justify; font-size: 8pt; line-height:13px;"]haha i want to Die
ok ill p update this first post later on w something more put together and probably an Actual izu journal entry but in the meantime?? this is what u get. im finally posting my pet project. my entirely unnecessary pet project. me, writing all of izuku's fuckin notes and Knowing its all fucked up. i was gonna put it off till i had more entries but i gotta boost myself to 300 before the end of the night lol
so uh. w/e i guess. if you want you can ask for an izu analysis/entry on ur character but itll p take me a while to get to bc im a coward asdghjfs. a lot of these are wips and youll just have to live w that.
;; note that this is all written in japanese. because he's japanese. cowards.

table of contents ;;
1. general notes / occasional medical analysis
2. clan & character notes
3. self notes
4. page 1 / 6/17/18 entry
5. page 2 / [someday soon lol] entry

[arcy]

[div style="0px; width:600px; height:auto; text-align: justify; font-size: 8pt; line-height:13px;"][align=center]general notes ;;

powers (wip):

Powers are kind of ... strange, in my opinion. They're very similar to quirks, being boosters or just super-powers, but they're kind of ... subtly different?
(the biggest wip possible yes :'^))

[arcy]

[div style="0px; width:600px; height:auto; text-align: justify; font-size: 8pt; line-height:13px;"][align=center]clan / character notes

Snowbound:

Honestly, I don't know a lot about the clans? Shocking, I know, since I've lived in two up to this point. To be fair, I'm even less native than anybody else who's joined. ... Though I guess I have gone kind of local by this point? I've already accepted that I'm not going home and that I'm probably stuck like this forever, so why not embrace it? ... Granted, my way of going about it can't be the healthiest. I'm literally just ... leaving behind all of my history. If none of my classmates or teachers had shown up, I'd be an entirely regular clan cat by this point.
Right! So Snowbound! Snowbound is the second group I've ever joined, and probably my favorite. They live in a tundra, currently. It's less comforting than a forest, but I've gotten used to it! The tundra is bare, of course, and there's only ever snow and more snow. Pools of lakes are smattered around the territory. Currently, our camp is in a cave system. It's all very simple, honestly -- there's no real landmarks here, just snow and some more snow. Maybe that's kind of rude to say, but it's true.
;; We moved camps recently. There was an invasion from humans who infested infected our prey somehow? It got a lot of us, like Natasha and Aizawa, sick. Rather than spend time getting rid of all of them, risky as it would be, we decided to move. We live in a village, now. Like the winter villages that you see in Christmas Stories I'd see sometimes. It's rather nice. There's a library, though it's kind of outdated. One of the larger buildings is home to a Banquet Hall. I've yet to try and convert any of the buildings to a medical building or anything, as I've kept everything kind of confined to my own house, but I feel that I should, soon. There's a lake next to us, with a river, too. I personally like it a lot more than the caves.
There's a system of ranks, as every group does. Their names are mostly snow based, honestly. The leader is called Chief, and the second in command is called a Snowstriker. There's three branches to go into -- event and ally, medicinal, and ... offense, in a way? There's a Semi-high rank for all of them, and then the full High Position rank. There's a handful of traditions and the such, as well. Hot chocolate and pendants, for example. I ... can't remember any others at the top of my head, though. There's ancestors, which I think I'm expected to do more studying on? Especially considering I don't know a lot about them. ... Considering that I'm a Tenderfoot here, I should probably do more research into Snowbound and it's history in general soon, then. Luckily there shouldn't be too much, as I joined not too terribly long after its founding.

[arcy]

[div style="0px; width:600px; height:auto; text-align: justify; font-size: 8pt; line-height:13px;"][align=center]self notes ;;

favorites:

I'm ... not quite sure why I'm doing an entry on favorites? I'm not exactly hoping somebody's gonna stumble on this journal and magically know literally everything about me, because that's just uncomfortable. Luckily I don't think anybody here reads kanji ... Though, mmaybe part of it is the fear of forgetting things. Even so? Puzzling. This'll all just be brief, though. Just my favorite thing of something, and then my reasons for it.
My favorite color is yellow. It's really comforting! It reminds me of All Might, in a way. I miss him. It also reminds me of marigolds, the sun, fields, and maybe even a clanmate or two. Most people think my favorite color is green, though, and while that's pretty high up on the list -- really. Just because I'm green doesn't mean it's my favorite. Aside from this, my other favorites are ... I don't know, red, blue?
My favorite flowers are, kind of predictably, marigolds. They were one of the first herbs I learned about and used. They can be used in a lot of different treatments, and are a very good fallback herb. Not to mention, they're very pretty, and they're yellow!
My favorite food is -- well, katsudon. It just tastes delicious. However, my favorite prey food is fish. Unlike any other prey, it doesn't taste bloody. It helps that it just tastes good, too.
Favorite drink ... hot chocolate! It was originally tea, due to how soothing it is, though. However, I came to really enjoy hot chocolate once I joined Snowbound. It just tastes better, here, and I guess it's just really comforting, as a Snowbound constant. The tradition surrounding it is really nice, and very fitting. I dunno, I just ... like it.

quirks:

[on a new page]
Powers: Electricity & Conjuration
It would appear that, out of frustration, I destroyed my previous notes on my quirk. I guess that's fine? They were very out of date, anyways. A month or so ago, I discovered that I no longer had access to most of my quirk. It was very frustrating -- it was my best line of defense, when I was just so much overwhelmingly weaker than everyone else. However, I do have other powers, aside from my quirk!
The first is my electricity. It appears to be a branch off of my quirk, and shares similar properties. It's the only thing left over of said power, really. I'm currently unable to control it -- I can go for a basic gradient of strength, but other than that, it's out of my hands. More than once I've either used too much or too little power. However, compared to much earlier, when this power was only activated when I was using One fo my quirk, it's a lot more powerful. According to ... studies, or rather me blowing myself up, the reason my body is not getting damaged using this power is because of a block of sorts. In other words, I'm immune to my own power under most circumstances. However, it's not a complete immunity. With the burning I feel, I'd assume long-term use would cause damage of sorts. I, however, can use this power in two different ways. The first is more natural, where it comes from all parts of my body. The second is ... more dangerous, in which I use it in only one or a few limbs. It is much more powerful in this way, but much more prone to overstraining the blocker. Last time I attempted this, I ... accidentally put too much power into it, and it exploded on me. My leg is still recovering as I write this. As powerful as this power is, I do not plan to use it anymore. It's too dangerous, and I could hurt somebody, or myself, especially. I'm ... not sure. Either way, I'm scared of what it could do. I injured my leg terribly badly doing this, and I know how much damage it can cause others.
My other power is much simpler. Conjuration. I can conjure any item that I want out of thin air. It's very imprecise at the moment -- more often than not, it'll take several attempts to conjure the correct item. This seems to be directly affected by my distance from the object, as it's easier to conjure items in the same room than those across the territory. For whatever reason, it's much easier to conjure objects I, personally, own. It can still conjure most of anything, though, given that it's not specifically owned by somebody. However, what are the terms of ownership? How is it decided? I can also send items i conjure back to their original location, or so I assume. This is much harder than conjuring items directly, as though something is pushing back. As well, conjuration ease, on top of all of this, appears to be based on how heavy or large the item it is I'm conjuring. I used to only be conjuring very small items, but I can now conjure larger items with plenty of ease, at the least.

--

[this entire section is crudely crossed out, as though he was frustrated while doing so]
Quirk: One for All (+ some?)
Maybe I should start calling my quirk a power? It's a little strange to everyone that's grown up with them called powers, though I feel like dropping 'quirk' would just be me trying too hard to fit in. Besides, quirks are a lot different from powers, as far as I'm aware.

My quirk, my main power, is called One for All, taught by my mentor. It feels different from how it used to when I was still human, though it may be just that. One for All buffs my strength, speed, dexterity, etc, when in use. I can only use a certain percentage of its power at a time as of now, and doing anything more will cause injuries, such as broken or shattered bones, or other types. I can currently use it in two different ways. First is to concentrate the energy in one, or a few, specific parts of my body. For example, I could concentrate the energy to my fist, or my front paws, to hit somebody, though power depends on percentage level. I could also concentrate the energy to my (hind) legs to give myself a jump boost. Generally, this method is a lot more likely to injure me than the other. I haven't actually tested it on any other body parts, though. What happens if I concentrate it in my tail, or my wings? Things to test in the future. The second way is to concentrate the energy everywhere throughout my body. The effects are less potent like this, but it still gives me a powerful overall boost. Additionally, it's a lot safer, as it's less likely to break my bones, at least at the lower percentages. At the higher percentages, it'll still tear me from the inside out, however, so I still have to be careful.

Recently, I discovered that while One for All is in use, genuine electricity will form. When I was human, the electricity was just a sort of physical manifestation of the power of something, but I've found it'll genuinely shock people now? It's not very powerful – at the most it'll give someone a bad shock, though that depends on the size of the person, I suppose. For that matter, the voltage increases with the percentage of One for All I use, just like everything else, apparently. Perhaps in the future I can attempt to isolate the effects? It doesn't seem to give any side effects aside from the lingering electricity as of now, and it'll be far more useful if I can use it without having to be in contact with somebody. This will take further experimentation.

Finally, I do have on last power, I think. It's called conjuration, according to the books I've read. I don't know a lot about it, besides that I have to ability to summon small items. The first time I used it, I summoned a cupcake, for some reason. It's far easier to summon items I personally own, as there's some sort of resistance against other items. However, I can't summon items that other people have claimed as their own, either. I can send items back to their original location, though it's harder than summoning it to me. I'm unsure of how to train this skill, as of now, besides practice. It could be very useful in the future, though! I won't have to carry as many items with me in my bag, and as such I won't be weighed down as much. It'll be very useful in the future, when I can actually start using my wings.

wings:

To be straightforward here, I have literally no idea how much I weight, or how large my wings are. I literally don't have a ruler to measure. And with that terrible intro, lets get on with it. My wings grew in, or rather, forced themselves to the surface, a few weeks into becoming a cat. I'd been feeling pain just under the skin of my back since only a few days after waking up, though I didn't think much of it. Then the skin started to become softer, easier to tear, and began to bulge. I was worried, of course, but couldn't do along. Then, they tore themselves from inside my body. They tore open fairly major wounds when they forced themselves out of my skin, but it would appear precautions had been put in place, and the wounds scabbed over fairly quickly. The wings themselves were very similar to baby bird wings -- featherless, though with some down. They were tiny, then, barely even the length of my forepaw. The wings grew rapidly from there, and within a few weeks, they'd grown in feathers and were about the length of my leg. It's continued this way for quite a while, and it doesn't seem to be stopping anytime soon. They're currently able to slow falls and the such, perhaps even enough to carry my weight if i were any lighter.
My wings are the same color as the rest of my body. The entire shape and structure of them resembles that of a Golden Eagle. In the future, even if they won't be able to carry my weight, they may be very useful! Even if I can't fly, I'll be able to do a clumsy sort of glide, which may offer me escapes others can't have. Mobility in general will probably gradually go up, due to the increased airtime. Plus, you can use them to balance yourself, or to stop or slow your movements, especially through air! I could possibly use them as a  shield against attacks? However, due to their fragility, this would only be if in desperate need. If I figure out what I'm doing perfectly, I could possibly use them to help me swim? Otherwise they'd just be a hindrance, though, and you wouldn't be able to use them afterwards. Best to avoid.
Unsure of how much damage the wings can take, or how fragile they are. I'd test, but that's probably dangerous. Though, just so long as the wing base remains undamaged, or at least unmutilated, the rest of the wing should be able to heal just fine in time. Unless that's mutilated, too. It'll likely be bad to do anything with them in rain or snow, due to the constant barrage and the feathers. However, once I get to that point, I'll probably do some tests to see if I can somehow get past this.
I'm ... not entirely sure how wingcare works? Despite all attempts, I haven't been able to find any books on it. I don't think it'll really matter until I can actually do anything with them, anyways. My feathers are currently very brittle, and all I really do is pluck uncomfortable feathers. In the future I might try and get more thorough about it, though? I'll have to consider making a ... salve? An ointment? For the feathers. They're every brittle, and not water-proof like most birds' feathers. I'd imagine they put some sort of oil onto it, and I'll just have to recreate it somehow. What should I use in it, though??
[a bunch of scribbled, messy notes on possible things to consider using in the ointment]

[arcy]

[div style="0px; width:600px; height:auto; text-align: justify; font-size: 8pt; line-height:13px;"][align=center]JOURNAL PAGE 1 // 6/17/18

I've never written an actual journal before. I've had it recommended to me once or twice, but I've never actually done it. I guess it just feels ... too vulnerable. When I was still in school, mostly before UA, there was always a chance somebody might snatch it and read it. I couldn't let myself give them anymore ammo, so I guess I just. Never did. It was honestly probably for the worse -- bottling everything up? Not ideal. Still not ideal. I mean I've got self-notes and stuff, but that's very emotionally distant. It's like taking notes on other people. Except its myself. And i guess writing will give me an outlet to rant? I still get the urge to rant about stuff pretty often, but it just ... I don't know. It always bothered people. Granted, I've been doing enough ranting with the rest of my notebooks. I already have a mini-bookshelf of these things. It's really weird, too, considering that I used to only really write notes on quirks and heroes and stuff and now I'm just. Here. I never really got over the urge to take notes and stuff, so I had to start on other stuff lest I go absolutely insane.

... Right. Anyways. Uh, onto actual recording stuff. And not distant notes, hopefully. I've been doing pretty well with actually putting feelings into this page, so I hope that doesn't spiral. Well, first, I made a friend recently? I'm fond of all of my clanmates, but she's the first one that I've really gotten to know at all. Natasha! She's the first person I've told about being formerly human -- she is, too. It's nice to not be alone, though I wonder if there's anymore like us? Anyways, secondly, I've been kinda stressed. Very stressed. As to be expected. I still can't see well, from a month ago, when somebody slashed at my eyes. Even writing this hurts. I've just been getting a lot of headaches and migraines lately, I guess. It's mostly from the eye strain. Not to mention, looking at bright colors or lights really hurts. I have to give my eye a treatment really frequently, it's kind of annoying. I've been trying some other extra remedies though, and desperately hoping they don't clash with anything else I do because I'm not doing any research. Aside from this, I've got my leg to be worried about. Just a few days ago, I was trying a different technique with my quirk electricity, and it blew up on me. Quite literally. I didn't get a very good look at it, but it was really gruesome. Luckily I was coherent for the incident. Though I passed out pretty fast after Aizawa asked me to get up. Has he even seen me? Does he know anything about limits? The electricity itself had me really shaky and lightheaded since it was such a high voltage, though it probably helped that I'm usually immune to it. I wasn't able to stand up without using all four legs, and putting weight on it wasn't a good idea. I'm still not quite sure if he should be propped up? Hm. Anyways, right now it's bandaged up, and I'm pretty much bedridden. I haven't seen what it looks like right now, and I'm not sure I want to. It's ... because, of this incident that I'm not going to use my electricity anymore though, hopefully. It's just ... I've hurt so many people with it. I've hurt myself. I'm scared. I'm scared I'll go out of control again or something.
... That's all for today, though.
Signed, Izuku Midoriya.