Let me down slowly -- Open!

[SirDio]

Asteri

"The stars listen, so don't say anything you'd regret."

// Mention of self hate around maybe 2 paragraph

The coastal forest wasn't a place she often visited - she wasn't one for oceans. And the trek wasn't rough - which she found odd. She had heard things about the forest, how there were creatures within it and that the coast was dangerous, but tonight she found that it was peaceful. And by god, did she need the peace. There was so much going on within her mind - rage at the bandits, worry, confusion, anxiety. It was all clashing, every emotion for themself, and she wanted it to stop. She was just so overwhelmed. Seeing the reflection of the stars, she sat down at the coast, paws shaking.

God, she wanted to be better. She wanted to be useful, and she thought she never was. Some days she was okay, doing things that helped Alithis, other days she felt like she was slacking. Her family had told her that if she wasn't doing something, she wasn't being useful. God, she wanted to look better. She felt too thin, but never had much of an appetite. She wanted to act better. She was far too shy, too easily walked past. She blended in too much. She wasn't social, never wanted to talk, and she hated it. She hated all of it. She hated almost everything about herself - and would change it for the world. Be useful, be better built, be social, be better.

Gentle sigh escaping her quivering lips, she let her head hang down, shoulders hunched as she let the self-hate wash over her. Anyone could have seen her leave the Inn, but she hoped to god no one saw - she didn't want to be seen as weak.

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THE KINGPIN

golden lung dragon & black jaguar w/ vitiligo & platinum silver fox. unknown age - ancient. bai shi lynn lingré. proper chinese name is lin bai. prefers lynn if close. they/them. blind. wind element & electric element. firstborn son of jerisidie lingré & current head of family/general. courting delilah evergarden & halo mercer. kingpin of alithís evgenis. demiromantic gray-asexual. parent of veris, arvin, leoku, erian, flos, kekhai, evarhi, and laeglin. elder brother of ramona and hope, uncle of quennel and cosette.

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Post is aimed at writer and character. Platonically love you, we're here for you <3


Silent were the waves kissing the shore, the coast silent and filled by the sounds of night. malacia brought the fish to surface, the calm tenderness a perfect time for feeding. There was no aubade to be sung at this time, so long before dawn. Quiet was the paralian kingpin, the jaguar sitting upon one of the boulders lost out in the ocean's caress, their dark furred tail dipped into the main. eyes closed, the jaguar rested under the stars, unaware of asteri's presence at the shore before the gentle breeze brought her scent to their nose. turning their head back to the shore, they saw the dark pelted she wolf, a dark form against the sea-shore. slipping silently into the water, they paddled through the slow waters, eyes lighting up as they realised the water had taken on a hue, lighting up with every movement, the bioluminescent algae and beings reacting to their movement. Swimming quietly, they drifted from shore, pausing in their swim, wanting to approach the aggrieved female. She was their friend, and their confidant. Exhaling warmly, the jaguar flicked their ears before swimming closer, tail making small ripples, "Bellasima.", they called softly in the spanish tongue, trying to catch her attention.

The posture she held inspired the feeling of concern in them, their heart worrying for her. "Asteri", they would call softly as they drifted closer, the water keeping its glow as their movements became stronger, making it into the shallows, water dripping from their coat. Approaching her, they felt the sand between their toes, the feeling of being alive a thing they had not found solace in for so long. They knew not what went through her head, but they could tell that she was in need of something. They had never seen the other as weak, they'd seen her as strong, collected and calm. She had only ever shown her worth and willingness to help - she had agreed to help them and they would forever be grateful to her.

Strong were limbs that felt frail, loved was the body she loathed, cared for was the mind she cursed, cherished were the skills and talents she disliked, embraced was the personality she bore. She was one and unique, a flash of color and flavor in an otherwise dull life, a star so bright that not even the hesperus could compare. To worship her was sabaism, a worship of the stars that she so deserved. Holy was the body she owned, a temple to be held and protected, loved and revered by those around her, guarded by the loyalty and heard by the listeners. She was so much more than she thought of herself, so tender yet so strong. To feel like shale but to be as tough and hardened as a diamond was a rarity, feeling so lost and never the same. Her glory was that she was who she was, someone to be loved and cherished and supported by those around her. Worn out was she, to be held up and protected by the bodies around her, ever held in reverence, her efforts of importance and her impact significant.

Bellasima - beautiful //

[SirDio]

Asteri

"The stars listen, so don't say anything you'd regret."

She first realized the sea coming to life with the glow of bioluminescent algae - then she heard the gentle foreign word spoken from someone close by. Hearing her voice called out, she turned to the source, and her eyes set upon Bai. She watched as they approached, lifting her head a bit higher. "Hello, Bai." Was all she uttered out, fearing that if she spoke even more, she would break down like stone walls after years of battle and erosion. Star-speckled haunches seemed to glow under the night, but were only a play of one's eyes.

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THE KINGPIN

golden lung dragon & black jaguar w/ vitiligo & platinum silver fox. unknown age - ancient. bai shi lynn lingré. proper chinese name is lin bai. prefers lynn if close. they/them. blind. wind element & electric element. firstborn son of jerisidie lingré & current head of family/general. courting delilah evergarden & halo mercer. kingpin of alithís evgenis. demiromantic gray-asexual. parent of veris, arvin, leoku, erian, flos, kekhai, evarhi, and laeglin. elder brother of ramona and hope, uncle of quennel and cosette.

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hearing their name from her soothed their mind lost in it's own torrent, their body drifting ever closer before they let their paws catch upon the ground beneath them, standing in the water, listening to the nighttime sounds around them, eyes fixated on her, showing no emotion from within them. "beautiful.", they murmured, not bothering to give any context, letting her find her own meaning in their words. emerging from the water, they looked back to it with a fond smile, "the moon ... has more than one copy of itself here. there's always been more than one moon but ... it's always been hiding in a secret place.", they murmured softly, stepping downshore to shake their coat of water droplets. they didn't dare push her to speak, coming to sit down not too far away, close enough to speak, close enough to move wherever she needed them to be. "it's strange, finding peace in the silence of the moon.", they spoke after a long while of lending a shoulder should she need it. such silences as these led to lands for breeding grounds of negativity and thoughts that would only lead to despair and pain.

[SirDio]

Asteri

"The stars listen, so don't say anything you'd regret."

Her ears flicked to their words, letting them roll in her mind as they spoke of copies of the moon, hiding away. She didn't respond, but simply placed her gaze upon the moon, knowing the memories doing so would bring. And she smiled, for she knew the moon loved her, as it loved everything else touched by both the sun and it. The moon wasn't greedy.

"Perhaps copies hide in fear that they will not be loved as the base mold is. They do not see themselves as unique, and hide away because of it." She said softly, moving to sit next to Bai, taking comfort in their presence.

"The moon loves all, comforts the suffering, knowing that the sun can provide light and lead, but not comfort when needed the most. Even when the shadow is cast on the moon, it's starry sisters shine for the lost, providing aid and comfort." She didn't push that the moon loved her, for it loved all. She didn't push that the moon comforted her, for it comforts all who suffer. "Sometimes, however, those who suffer wish to comfort the moon, for they know it is outshined by the sun. But the moon cares not for it's glow. It cares for the light it sheds, skewed by water, resting on the faces who sleep, who are awake, who are in between. In times where the moon feels as though it's light reaches no one, someone can set a mirror to it's face, letting it's light shine right back to it."

Her voice felt a little more confident, her mind less troubled as she spoke of the moon - over all the times it watched her, from the time it saw her bury her mother, she returned the favor by speaking warmly of it. It's milky glow cleared her mind on nights like this, even though the waves of emotions had skewed it.

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THE KINGPIN

golden lung dragon & black jaguar w/ vitiligo & platinum silver fox. unknown age - ancient. bai shi lynn lingré. proper chinese name is lin bai. prefers lynn if close. they/them. blind. wind element & electric element. firstborn son of jerisidie lingré & current head of family/general. courting delilah evergarden & halo mercer. kingpin of alithís evgenis. demiromantic gray-asexual. parent of veris, arvin, leoku, erian, flos, kekhai, evarhi, and laeglin. elder brother of ramona and hope, uncle of quennel and cosette.

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they smiled wordlessly, sitting at her side as they licked water from their fur, lifting a paw to clean it of water, purring steadily in the depths of their throat, coat brushing against hers the slightest. listening to her words, they let their eyes drift to half-closed, ears pricked up, tail curled around their paws. "the copies hide away out of fear, but they do not know that they are just as loved and cherished as the moon itself is.", they murmured softly and warmly, eyes glinting warmly in the night. "the moon is always giving, never taking. it does love all that it's light befalls. it is a peaceful existance, after all.", they murmured quietly, shaking their tail free of water. laying down at her side, they gazed up at her and past her, up to the stars. "the sun can be harmful, but the moon always heals. the sun shines so brightly, and the moon waits for its own time.", they murmured, smiling faintly, "the moon is patient and always there, always present and waiting for those who need it. it doesn't fret when the sun covers it, nor does it brag when it covers the moon. there are times when even the moon and its copies need re-assurance, and there's nothing wrong with that.", they murmured, tail curling up over their back and flopping over their paw, twitching slightly.

[SirDio]

Asteri

"The stars listen, so don't say anything you'd regret."

A low hum was lifted into the air, a smile on her lips."There never was a problem with that. Some people like to look down on those who reassure the moon." She took in a heavy sigh, lowering her head a bit while looking at Bai. "There's just so much going on right now, you know? It's weighing in one after another." She spoke softly, not daring raise her voice above a whisper. "And I feel like I'm getting crushed. It's... It's getting bad, Bai." She admitted to her friend, knowing they wouldn't laugh or brush it off.

[¿¿]

Sam was walking down the beach on the edge of the moon light when she seen the two having a conversation highlated by the moons glow. "I see others are taking in the peace of the moon." Sam said as she walked up breathing slowly. "My mom used to say it's a time where everywhere the moon touched is like the place is paused for the time being, where there is no where for shadows dont extend the direction. Prof that this time is when we are all close." When she was saying this she sat down with her fur gently ruffling. Keeping her eyes closed as she sneaked and with the last statement she opened them with eyes that see the past to look at the moon once agin and the new companions in the night.

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THE KINGPIN

golden lung dragon & black jaguar w/ vitiligo & platinum silver fox. unknown age - ancient. bai shi lynn lingré. proper chinese name is lin bai. prefers lynn if close. they/them. blind. wind element & electric element. firstborn son of jerisidie lingré & current head of family/general. courting delilah evergarden & halo mercer. kingpin of alithís evgenis. demiromantic gray-asexual. parent of veris, arvin, leoku, erian, flos, kekhai, evarhi, and laeglin. elder brother of ramona and hope, uncle of quennel and cosette.

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they smiled, looking over to her, "those who do not kindly look upon the comforters of the moon, do not deserve their rights and blessings so given by the moon.", they murmured softly, leaning to her to brush their fur against hers in comfort. they stayed there, looking up at her, enjoying the way the moonlight brought her into clearer picture in their gaze, noticing the new markings in her fur. blinking, they looked away for some time, back to the ocean, mulling over her words, tail curling over their paw, "there is a lot going on at this time, yes. an amount far too much for one to handle alone. round your shoulders and your spirit, things will be harder before they become easier and run off us like rain.", they spoke, ears pricked at the sound of movement not far away.

taking a breath, "but you do not bear these burdens alone, asteri. share the load with us, with your friends.", they murmured lightly, pressing their nose to her side, holding her gaze, "bad or not, we stand with you, and it is alright. it is alright to bend your head and cry, dear. the pressure will weigh you down, but we will help you back up. it is alright to be overwhelmed, and to succumb to it. it is okay. if you need time away, do not be afraid to take your leave.", they murmured softly, beginning to groom her fur in what was meant to be a soothing gesture. "when it becomes too much, find those you trust. we wait for you and for those who need us. we will not sway under those storms, not when it means protecting everything that means so much.", they spoke quietly, the jaguar sitting up.

ears swiveling, they picked up on sam's movement, greeting her with a soft rumble, "sam, hello.", the kingpin greeted her softly, the third companion a gentle but welcome presence in this time of uncertainty and brutal wars not waged in the open, but in the closed spaces of the heart. exhaling deeply, the kingpin gazed up at the sky, eyes taking in the constellations, sadness in their gaze. they knew the losses that everyone suffered were always there, just under the surface, waiting to break the surface and torment the mourner. shaking their head, they leaned over to run their cheek along asteri's shoulder with a soft croon, whiskers twitching. their words could not convey what they long wished to tell everyone who bore scars and broken hearts, to tell those who needed to hear it. maybe they could do right by her, maybe they could protect her where they had failed with everyone else.