THE EGG AND DOPPIO WEDDING/VOW RENEWALS

[pallid-i]

+ -

So I'm here, vibing and eating ice cream in a cup as I wait at the altar for both the priest (bitch is late. im not paying this bitch bc i hate late bitches) and my husband, Egg "Reggan" Eggertan. Where the fuck is everyone I just want to flex my cute husband to the world and maybe show him that ice cream in a cup is truly revolutionary and extremely hot. Then we will throw a party that has only the best entertainment: chickens dressed up as clowns and also a band of chickens. We will make random humans we found fight in an ice cream pit and whoever dies first gets tickets to chuck-e cheese.

credits: art @ llancer on da \ template made by whirly bird with help from paroxysm and spacexual

[COSMIIX]

I was there, dressed up to the tea, I laid on the side of the tables with all the food. In my hand, a bottle of apple cider. No, not the alcoholic one, you twat. I had already gone through 68 bottles of apple cider and was almost down to the last one. "69.... nice..." I mumble under my breath as I finish my 69th bottle only to flop over and fucking die. I was dressed in some weaves snatched from some bitches and clown shoes. Did I wear pants to the occasion? No. No, I didn't. Truly, i was a free Mexican with liberties and priorities. Pants was not one of them. Foam formed from my mouth, I have had rabies for 4 years now. Yes. I'm still very much alive. Yes, you can live from rabies too. Take my example to heart.

[kinglykingstone]

It was very dark. Percy could sense something was near. The young tomcat’s eyes opened wide as he scanned
the dense undergrowth. This place was unfamiliar, but the strange scents drew him onward, deeper into the
shadows, towards the wedding. His stomach growled, reminding him of his hunger. He opened his jaws slightly to let the warm smells of the forest reach the scent glands on the roof of his mouth. Musty odors of leaf mold mingled with
the tempting aroma of a small egg.

Suddenly a flash of doppio raced past him. Percy stopped still, listening. It was hiding in the leaves less
than two tail-lengths away. Percy knew it was an egg—he could feel the rapid pulsing of a tiny heart deep
within his ear fur. He swallowed, stifling his rumbling stomach. Soon his hunger would be satisfied. The wedding would finish.

Slowly he lowered his body into position, crouching for the attack. He was downwind of the egg. He
knew it was not aware of him. With one final check on his prey’s position, Percy pushed back hard on his
haunches and sprang, kicking up leaves on the forest floor as he rose.

The egg dived for cover, heading toward a hole in the ground. But Percy was already on top of it. He
scooped it into the air, hooking the helpless creature with his thorn-sharp claws, flinging it up in a high arc
onto the leaf-covered ground. The egg landed dazed, but alive. It tried to run, but Percy snatched it up
again. He tossed the egg once more, this time a little farther away. The egg managed to scramble a few
paces before Percy caught up with it.

Suddenly a noise roared nearby. Percy looked around, and as he did so, the egg was able to pull away
from his claws. When Egg turned back he saw it dart into the darkness among the tangled roots of a tree.

"ANDY I WILL KEEL U !!!!1!11!!!!!!!!!!"

[stilly.]

I wasn't a big fan of weddings, and I hadn't actually planned on coming, especially after I had gotten an invitation from Matt saying "come to my wedding u stupid bby bitch." However, they had asked me to be the flower boy, and I fucking loved throwing things at people, so I had come dressed to the nines in my best suit and comfortable pajama bottoms. I strolled down through the seating to sit with my hell sibling, only to find them dead, surrounded by 69 bottles of apple cider. Or maybe not dead, I couldn't tell. Muttering a little prayer, I dumped my entire basket of flowers on top of them, before shoving them out of their chair and taking it for myself.

I thought I heard the call of an animal nearby, or perhaps just a furry. Enraged by the sound, I picked up one of the many bottles of cider, yeeting it furiously towards the other seats, "GODDAMN IT PERCY, ARE YOU DOING YOUR WEIRD FURRY ROLEPLAY AGAIN?" Fucking furries. I'm so glad I'm not one of them.

[spacexual]

[align=center]

whatever the hell percy was doing wasn't relevant to the egg at hand, because if it was, well, that would be powerplaying, wouldn't it?

but anyway, egg didn't really know what all this was about. what even were wedding vows? has he ever been to a wedding? yea like, once, when he was 8 or something. he didn't pay attention to the ceremony. he only remembers his mom being way too emotional over these people he barely knew kissing each other in front of a big crowd. and then dancing. that part was fun.

considering this was the second verse, though, egg figured he'd do it in something more casual. something more comfortable. so egg strolls in with his jammies, fuzzy red pajama pants that have dogs wearing santa hats all over them, and a slightly oversized sweatshirt. the ideal outfit.

there was something going on about ice cream and fighting. he didn't really know. he just preferred his ice cream in a bowl, it wasn't that deep. hopefully no one died or got seriously hurt. he would like to have some ice cream, though, thinking about it. whatever. he's gotta wait or something. why did they need a priest again? he wasn't religious.

[Whisper]

and there, in the shade stood the beast, the unholy and devine witch bitch of the universe, cue the maleficent wings and horns and in a short cape that still dragged behind me. ofc i was in all black, mourning the fact that egg and doppio. it was with a teary eyes that i looked on to the group, the mom-ther eternal, i pull out my tarot deck and drew the jocker card. ah, life, such a cruel joke it was. and then, i remebered with sudden horror

i was the preist, and i was late "ah, fiddlesticks" I sweep into the room, dusting the podium, it had been years since i tried to become a priest, a joke for the most part, no idea why i was here, beyond doppio begging me to make such an iron twist on their thread. all well. here i be.

"yoo, in this unholy temple we witness these two beautiful ppl, and their weird friends. yeah, that was about it"

[Luciferr]

and here was the embodiment of the void, late and carrying starbucks in her shadowy claws - gingerly making her way around the area in an attempt to find a seat, whilst phasing in and out of reality.

”cause me, pardon me, sorry I’m late”