stand up, stand up / joining

[Grey]

[div style="margin: 0 auto; border-width:0; width: 70%; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.5; font-family: arial; font-size: 9pt;"]A quiet place. He needed to be somewhere he could think, let the words in his mind finally sound clear, break through the noise of an ambient environment. He was fine with the sensation of an abyss, sitting within a vacuum of sound, unable to hear a thing. It's strange to envy the deaf, not something he should ever look at and admire, and yet they had the whole world to themselves. The coyote remembers once reading Hamlet, an old but appreciated Shakespearean play. He remembers the famous monologue, the one that began with 'to be or not to be', parodied many times by those who understood and those who did not. It was a soliloquy pertaining to that of death, analysing the troubled condition of mortals. The protagonist - overwhelmed by destiny and emotions, duty and love - realised the calamity of their lives, the true reason why they all hesitated to end. Existentialism was something he had always found intriguing, allowing himself to embrace such philosophies because there was just enough of it to make him feel comfortable in his own skin. It hurt more to face possibilities than the inevitable, it was the after-death everyone was afraid of.

His favourite quote from Hamlet, however, wasn't even part of a soliloquy. No, but the words resonated deeply with him: "I could be bounded in a nutshell and count myself a king of infinite space... were it not that I have bad dreams." A world without sound, the golden silence. He wouldn't mind living within the realm of his mind, a place where there was control, a place where he understood. But no matter the world or universe, when there was a conscience there was suffering, a struggle, a pain. Perry closes his eyes, shuddering a breath as he finally enters the rainforest, humidity touching his pelt. The desert had been a pain to go through, a foolish decision on his part to think such a place would be a better choice to die. He didn't like the feeling of sand in his coat, shaking himself off before realising he was in unknown territory. It must have belonged to someone because there were clear signs of intelligent life, markings in trees almost menacing if it weren't for the fact that they were heart carvings with illegible, sharply printed names. His eyes squint, trying to make out the letters before immediately giving up.

This must have been the quiet place he was looking for, right? It was hard to differentiate one rumour from the next but if his memory served as an ally, then the rainforest and desert must have been a clear sign that the coyote had stumbled across the Rosebloods. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to come with an offering or not, noting to himself to stay still so not to look like a trespasser. Then again, he's half-expecting the sudden strike of claws against his back, or unluckiness to crash down on him. He wasn't even sure why he intended to join. It was easier, he convinced himself, to join a group. Even then, social interaction was stressful. It was easy to fumble over his words and, to his misfortune, he had a horrible stutter because his brain moved faster than his lips. It was easy for him to appear shy and afraid of others when, in reality, he was much braver than most. Perry sniffs at the air, sneezing from the exotic smells that lingered, eyeing carefully at the large insects which roamed around. The longer he stayed here, sheepish in appearance, the more the coyote began to realise just how dangerous this place was. It didn't even take him long to notice red ants on his paws, the male immediately jumping up and shaking them away, cursing in his head because he couldn't prepare a remedy for the itching and burning bites. Luckily for him, they weren't bull ants but the bite of a single fire ant hurt like a bitch.

His ears fold back against his skull, wincing at the pain, trying not to cry. The wheeze was enough to show that his body felt as if it was burning, it was like the canine had taken a million bullets from all sides. He didn't have anything for the pain, quickly moving from the area and glancing around for any plants he recognised. Although he could probably make a concoction to ease the pain, he knew that the bite would heal eventually and that there were no plants he was able to recognise immediately. For now, he'll have to wait for someone to come around and lead him away from the dreaded spot because he was too hesitant to enter any deeper into the Rosebloods.

[sephiroth]

SEPHIROTH

MALE — ROSEBLOODS — LORD — HOVER FOR TAGS

[div style="background-color: #292727; color: white; font-family: arial; font-size: 12px; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: justify; overflow: auto; width: 500px; height: 340px; padding: 10px;"]Sephiroth’s sensitive and highly trained nose was used to the varied smells of the rainforest by now, so he barely noticed many of the exotic scent.  If anything he found it pleasurable compared to the smell of rotting corpses from the old territory of the Rosebloods.  Definitely a plus to the new land.  But in the dense stench of the jungle environment the Lord caught a new scent on the wind, of a new animal.  Sharp and foreign to him.

The male lion’s muscular form pushed through the thick foliage to approach Perry, attributing the smell to coyote, a small animal was not yet familiar with on a personal level.  Well, every animal was small compared to his large and looming figure.  Which is how it should be for somebody who is above, the motherly voice purred in his head, and was affirmed by his confident posture as he addressed Perry by looking down at him from his side of the border and standing straight.  ”This is the Rosebloods, do you have a purpose for being here?”  Sephiroth would question in his silky rumble of a voice.

#psychosocial.

[Grey]

[div style="margin: 0 auto; border-width:0; width: 70%; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.5; font-family: arial; font-size: 9pt;"]His heart was running wild, reverberating like the panicked rush of wildebeests, unable to keep still because he was beginning to stress. It wasn't so much that he didn't like to wait, it was the fact that everywhere he stood seemed to give him a bittersweet sting. He felt unsafe, unsure how he could cope for any longer when the rising form of a lion suddenly catches his darting eyes. If he were blind, he wouldn't have even realised the other was there. He couldn't smell him, nose clouded by the thick smell of vegetation, dung and slithering creatures. Rosebloods. The rumours he had heard along his travels were correct, about to grasp his book and document his findings when he remembered he had lost it during a mugging. He lost everything. There was the problem to being alone: there was no one to back you up, nothing to look forward to beyond surviving a day. He wasn't blessed like others, blessed in a way that he possessed powers or mutations that could help him. As far as he was concerned, he was just a normal coyote who liked to read and imagine alternate futures. The only thing he had going was that brain of his but even then he didn't possess supernatural intelligence, he just knew a few herbs here and there to help him on his travels.

To be frank, he already felt nervous. The young scientist had never really tried to join a group before. The closest Perry had ever gotten to being within one was when he was traveling with a merchant group, merely tagging along to listen to the stories they had to share. It was true though, some of the stories, that the Rosebloods was a group that radiated in prestige. This lion seemed to know exactly who was boss. He wouldn't find the other cocky either considering he was nothing more but a canine, smaller than a wolf, and unable to bear the pain of a mere fire ant bite. Perry offers the male a weak smile, sheepish: "J...Joining, s-s-sir," he says softly, stuttering over his words. The volume he spoke at had never really been a problem. It was rare of him to have used his voice and he often let others do the talking. Now it all felt raw and strange, untrained noise leaving his lips. This was perhaps a problem he would have to learn to deal with because living in a group meant he would have to interact with others sooner or later, but he doubts he would ever be truly free from his awful stammers. "Perry," he then adds, ears perking in an attempt to muster more confidence in his voice, "Name's... Per-Perry."

[Matias]

It had been a few days since his joining, but still he was finding sand within the thicker parts of his fur. He brought a paw towards his mouth and bit impatiently at his ankle, wrinkling his nose at the crunch of sand between his teeth. He had quite a few strong words in mind for whatever deity had created deserts. For now, though, he would merely focus on the creatures within his general area, and all the foreign smells that he'd been trying to grow accustomed to. The musty smell of rotting leaf litter and damp earth seemed to clog his nose, and much like Perry, he was forced to rely on his sight and hearing to get around. Sorbet spat out whatever sand had remained in his mouth and swept his tongue over his lips, narrowing his eyes as the faintest hints of a conversation met his ears. Someone was talking nearby. The wolf grunted and pulled himself to the paws, slinking from his spot beneath one of the glossy leaves to eavesdrop on the pair by the border. Listening to conversations that weren't his was always an entertaining way to pass the time, he figured. Leaves solidified and vines cracked beneath him as his uncontrollable powers froze the water within them, any gentle brush or prod from his paws spelling the plant's doom. It was a shame really, he thought plants were pretty cool, but there was nothing that could be done about his powers without proper lessons.

He emerged from the foliage behind Sephiroth to slink up beside him, diamond pupils contracting as he eyed Perry up. Even for Bé, who hadn't been able to experience much social interaction in his life, it was easy to spot that his joiner was pretty damn uncomfortable. "Why so nervous?" he asked bluntly, the beginnings of a smirk tugging at his lips. "We ain't gonna eat ya." A small beath of silence followed before he continued in a significantly quieter voice. "Probably." His claws came up to hide the full-blown grin that curled his maw, shielding his laugh with a fake cough. Once the fit died down he dropped his paw, although a pleased smile remained. "Sure ya can join," he confirmed, apparently dropping the false threat. "My name's Sorbet, an' I'm a newbie too." He would have offered his paw in a shake, but he knew that it probably wouldn't end well. Unless someone had fire powers, Sorbet would advise against physical contact. He didn't want to give people frostbite only a week into his joining.

[Grey]

[div style="margin: 0 auto; border-width:0; width: 70%; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.5; font-family: arial; font-size: 9pt;"]He isn't sure how long it will take for the coyote to become accustomed to all the smells that swam within the territory, intermingling. Some of the scents were foul and heavy, others were tangy and sharp. His brain didn't know what to interpret, unable to differentiate one thing from another. It was, however, not difficult to realise a chill in the air. The coolness of a breeze, moving and alive that his ears swiveled towards the source, noticing that the stranger was approaching from behind the glorified lion. His lips press together, expression unreadable, the canine refusing to take offence from the male's comment. It was true. He sounded nervous, he always did no matter who he was around. Perry was sure that even if he dissected his own brain clean apart, searched every inch of his body for the fault that caused his stammer, he wouldn't be able to fix himself. Then again, it was not to say that he grieved to be able to speak normally. He was a listener, not a speaker. Perry didn't even like to voice his opinions, let alone like the sound of his own voice. The fact that he sounded cowardly was convenient more than anything else because it meant others expected little from his behaviour. He would rather things stayed that way.

His body stays tense, unrelaxed because he was still in pain. He hadn't mentioned it, knowing it would soon subside, but it probably added more to his meek appearance. Perry looked too stiff. Muscles were as hard as bone, skin was burning beneath his fur - struggling from the humidity. He continued to try and remind himself that he would get used to the conditions, that his body will eventually come to adapt. It was how it always worked. "Thank y-you." The coyote gives a sigh of relief when Sorbet confirmed that he could join, nodding his head with enough enthusiasm to show he was grateful. Perry had always considered himself an energy conversationalist. He didn't like to do unneeded actions or go the extra mile for another. As long as he completed what was needed, he was content. "Ni-Nice to me-e-et you," he replies, attempting to raise his volume a little. He wanted to at least appear polite because he appreciated to two Rosebloods coming out in the first place, knowing that they held a mysterious reputation made him almost wonder if they were myths.

Perry's eyes shift around, ears drooping forward. "I-Is there a m-main base?"

[purgatory]

Koda never wanted to be alone with his thoughts. Not for long anyways. He'd get flashes of vague images and thoughts as well as a voice that was his voice but not at the same time. Find Death and War, "he"  hummed for the longest of while as Koda roamed the world by himself. He wasn't sure what "he" was talking about but he didn't question it. "He" told himself not to. A part of him did wonder on occasion though, why would he want to seek out something so horrendous? Something that caused many pain ad grief. Why was he running towards danger instead of following the crowd away from it? I am incomplete, "he" spoke once more what felt to be decades later. If Koda wasn't confused before, he was absolutely confused now. What did "he" mean he was incomplete? Koda felt quite whole, thank you very much. He felt fine and if "he" didn't like it, well, that wasn't his problem. If "he" wanted something, "he" needed to come right out and say it else he was going to ignore "himself." "He" was being very difficult and the child had more important things to do like finding a safe place to rest. He didn't need "him" filling his conscious with vague ideas of something he doesn't understand or telling him to do something without providing context.

His resolve wasn't as solid as he thought it was.

Before he knew it, Koda threw in the towel and agreed with "himself" to find Death and War, wondering if it was just two weird looking rocks. Or maybe two squirrels he needed to kill and eat because he was super hungry and doesn't realize it. Either way, he just wanted "himself" to leave him alone. And thus, the quest for War and Death commenced and he found "he" was starting to speak more frequently. Now, instead of three times a week, it would increase to four, perhaps five if he was unlucky. The only thing that became clear to him upon finding Death and War is they were individuals that Koda knew, except for the fact he's never come across them in his life. He thinks he would remember people "he" dubbed as War and Death as well as the two being an indoraptor and manticore respectively. The familiar sibling-like feeling that accompanied them was enough to make his forget about "himself" and how all of this was "his" doing. It was as though they were long lost friends reuniting for the first time in a long while and as much as he relished in the warm sensation of finally being home, it was all completely foreign to him. How could he possibly feel this way? He didn't know these individuals so how did "he"? There's something "he" wasn't telling himself... At least, not in a way Koda could understand.

To be alone with his thoughts was a scary experience and it only reminded him of how he doesn't know "himself." To prevent that from happening, the child takes every opportunity he could to talk - write - and interact with others as "he" refrains from speaking then. It wasn't like he was desperately searching for someone to interact with - a lie - but if he so happened to come across someone, he figured he'd stop and write hello. Maybe ask them how their day is going before parting ways with waves and smiles. He wasn't looking for a deep conversation, just being in the presence of others is enough to keep "him" silent. Most of the time. So when bright luminaries first landed on the form of Sephiroth, then Sorbet, there wasn't the slightest hesitation in his step when he pranced over to greet them. Smiling around the pen and notebook in his mouth, he bounced to a stop a couple paces behind them when he realized they were speaking to someone he's never seen before. Body tensing, he flattened his ears shyly before wondering if he should come back another time. But that meant "he" might say something. Driven by the thought of not having to deal with "himself," he forced himself to stand by Sorbet, getting there one inch at a time. He seemed just as nervous as he did. That was comforting. In attempt to steady his nerves, the white snow leopard focused on the words he was writing on the paper. "Welcome! I'm Maekoda but you can call me Koda and or whatever you like! I can show you to camp too if you'd like me to." He wrote, clicking his pen and holding up the book to show him.

[align=center]✯ "speaking" / "writing" ✯

[Grey]

[div style="margin: 0 auto; border-width:0; width: 70%; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.5; font-family: arial; font-size: 9pt;"]He could agree that loneliness had the tendency to bring about intrusive thoughts, but Perry enjoyed quiet reflection, he enjoyed how isolation brought about the ugliest of one’s conscience. It revealed the secrets one didn’t want to see. He thought it to be a lot like Johari’s window, the theory of how there was a side to a person that they had to discover for themselves, a part of themselves that was hidden away from their own eyes. No matter how harm one would try to pry the lock open, it wouldn’t be found until loneliness swept by. Then again, they all needed company. It made him think of another existentialist play, the one called Endgame by Samuel Beckett. There was a man, blind and crippled, who could have been his own company. He spoke to himself, he monologued quite a bit about dreams where he could see, and yet there were moments where it all felt real. His companion had asked him: “Why do you keep me?” The reply was that there was “no one else”. It was saddening for the coyote to hear, even more of a horror when another scene appeared, and the protagonist asked his companion how he will know that his companion has decided to leave him. The realization of the scene was that he would rather his companion died than have ran away because it was the intention that mattered, the feeling of being wanted.

Perry thought death to be a natural thing. It was always tragic to experience the death of a loved one but overtime, he knew that the wounds would be healed. When it came to war, the traveler had always done his best to avoid it. War wasn’t something one should come to expect and love. It was chaotic, unpredictable at times, destructive. The fact that the Rosebloods apparently had a reputation for being warbound, it made the canine initially hesitant to join the group. And yet here he was, standing around and talking to animals he had only just met, taken in as if he were one of their own. He didn’t know what to think when he saw the snow leopard approaching, thinking it was a rather strange habitat for the other to inhabit while also noting the fact that it didn’t matter where the other happened to live so long as he survived. But considering the sticky, humid weather, the thick fur of snow leopards made him feel sorry for the feline. That being said, he seemed to be coping well, the male’s eyes immediately dropping towards the movement of writing before being shown words on a paper. He was glad he was one of those creatures who knew how to read, seemingly glancing at the page before looking immediately up and smiling at the male. Perry was a quick reader. ”Th-Thank y-you, K-Koda,” the coyote replies, ”And y-yes please.” He wasn’t going to turn down the good offer.