I THINK WE'RE DOOMED // open, nightmare

[ATBASH CIPHER.]

ATBASH CIPHER

how could you just walk away and leave me here?

//Small trigger warning in the first paragraph for me attempting to describe what it's like to drown

Atbash had finally gotten to the point where she was comfortable sleeping in her own room again. It's been at least a week since her incident with her brother, and she felt safe enough to start sleeping in her own room again. Her body still shook whenever she walked, but that was able the extent of the damage right now. Her lungs still bothered her every now and again, but that was something easily fixed with some meditated breathing. Izuku and Jacob had been a huge help in her recovery, and she was grateful that they were by her side whenever it happened. What worried Atbash, however, was the fact that Jacob had gone to The Typhoon and talked with their leader. Which surely meant Caesar was punished, which usually doesn't end well for her brother. He was a hot-head, prone to be extremely distructive when things didn't get his way. So that's what Atbash was worried about as she rested for the night.

What if he comes back?
What if he attacks me again or somebody else?
What if he kills me?
These thoughts swarmed Atbash's thoughts as she tried to go to sleep, tossing and turning in her bed. She really wouldn't put it past her younger brother to seek her out again and this time killing her off. She knew he must has assumed she told Jacob what happened - but she didn't. She didn't know how Jacob found out it was him, but she knew that Caesar probably assumed it was her. And if that was the case, he was most definitely going to come back and seek her out. Atbash did finally feel herself feeling tired and let herself sleep, despite her worries.

She was underwater again. She could feel claws digging into her throat as she was being held down, her lungs screaming for air. They were practically on fire, and no matter what she did, she couldn't find her way out of the water. No amount of movement removed the feeling of claws from her throat. She was slowly losing air and instinctively her mouth opened to gasp for air, which only caused water to pour into her mouth. It choked her, causing her body to lurch as it tried to get rid of the water, which of course also failed. She was trapped. She was stuck. She was going to drown. Atbash stopped moving by now, her attempts getting slower as she started feeling tired. Slowly the she-cat allowed herself to close her eyes and -

Atbash jerked awake, practically gasping for air. Her claws dug into her bed, and her entire body shook. She was alive. She was okay, but that still didn't stop her heart from pounding. Atbash glanced around her room, as if she was checking to see if anybody was around. As of right now, none of her groupmates were, but she was specifically looking for signature yellow fur that signaled Caesar was around, to which she never found, but again, that didn't stop her from feeling worried and afraid.

bio | female | flurryhost [shp] of snowbound

© madi

[Character Graveyard.]

COLD NOSTALGIA ✧ Natasha — Snowbound — Warrior

Drowning was not one of Natasha's phobias. She had been raised to not have any phobias in the Red Room, yet the fear of abandonment was one she would always carry with her. Natasha was not the kind of person to reveal her fears unless it was needed.

The black-lupine had been concerned about Atbash, ever since the attack. She had decided to check up on the Flurryhost, so here she was, at her room's door. "Hey Atbash, you good?"

© madi

[ATBASH CIPHER.]

ATBASH CIPHER

how could you just walk away and leave me here?

Atbash jumped at the sound of Natasha's voice, tensing up a bit, though she eventually allowed herself to relax. It's just Natasha. She told herself with a mental sigh. You're safe. Everything's fine. He's not here. But what if he was? What if he was pretending to be Natasha? What if he was just sending her hallucinations? Atbash knew her powers were stripped from her, but that didn't mean Caesar's were. And even if they were, Atbash knew it was possible to get those powers back, so what if he got them back?

It's fine. Atbash reminded herself again, trying her best to get rid of those thoughts. She shook her head to both do that and to answer Natasha's question. "N-no... Not really," The she-cat admitted in a quiet tone, slowly lowering her head to lay on her shaking paws. "I... had a nightmare."

bio | female | flurryhost [shp] of snowbound

© madi

[jacob w.c.]

WHAT A PRIVILEGE IT IS TO LOVE — Jacob, unfortunately, had plenty experience with nightmares. He'd had the odd ones here and there as a kid, just as nearly everyone did, but after the kidnapping it'd gotten worse. He was having them nearly every night and he would wake up sobbing that he wanted to go home. When he moved, they got better. Before the fire, his biggest worries hadn't even been about his own mind. He had nightmares sometimes that his Pa had passed away already but that was expected in such a situation. The fear of being kidnapped faded as his focus was drawn to illness and studying all he could about it. Then the fire came and it changed everything again. He didn't think he'd gotten a proper night's sleep since that day. Sometimes when he was awake he saw things too. A flicker of fire out of the corner of his eye, tendrils of smoke waving in the air on a clear morning, flaming figures begging for his help as he tried to sleep. It had gotten so bad at one point that he would hear and smell things. He could still smell smoke almost constantly. It'd gotten worse when Pincher left but now he was home again and that brought him some peace.

Jacob was just out on a walk. That's what he told himself and that's what he'd tell anyone who cared to ask. The truth was, though, even with Pincher home, things still weren't completely well. Archie had still left him that note and he was still here, lurking in the shadows, either literally or only in Jacob's mind, it didn't matter. He was here somewhere. Jacob was sure of it. How could he sleep when he worried that everything he'd worked to build here, everything apart from the city, was moments away from being ripped from him? His biggest concern was that one day he'd walk into his cabin and Harrison would be gone again or, worse, his blood would be spilled on their floors. He couldn't imagine that. He couldn't let that happen again after all he'd done to build what he had here. He'd worked so hard to get a reputation apart from his family names and businesses. He'd become a doctor, a proper one. He had a family and a lover and a son to protect. He had friends and people that were looking to him for help and guidance. Some days he wasn't sure he knew exactly how to provide that but it didn't mean he'd give up. He wanted Snowbound to be safe and if that meant sacrificing a little sleep than so be it.

Thankfully, though, his thoughts couldn't stay on those forever. He couldn't let the paranoia eat him from the inside out and he got the perfect distraction when he heard Atbash and Natasha's voice. The man made his way over with clear concern etched in his expression as he settled down. Walking around all night might ease his mind but it took a toll on his already damaged legs. "Atbash, do ya' need somethin' ta' get back ta' sleep? I've got some herbs tha' can probably 'elp with the nightmares n' calm ya' down a little. Or ya' can jus' wait it out n' see how ya' feel in a minute. After all ya've been through, though, 's best ta' try n' get some sleep." He knew it wasn't easy and he knew he should take his own advice. Jacob hadn't properly slept for weeks now but that didn't stop him from pacing around at night.

He could guess what Atbash's nightmares were about given her current circumstances but he wasn't sure how to actually put her mind at ease regarding the problem. In the case of Caesar, Jacob had done all he could. He'd made sure his punishment was fulfilled and had Pincher's word it wouldn't happen again and, if it did, there would be more severe consequences. There was little more he could do at this point, though he wished he could make all Atbash's concern disappear. He couldn't imagine that having a brother like Caesar was easy. He thought that Jerseyboy was complicated and frustrating but at least Jacob knew that, no matter what happened, Jersey would never hurt him like that. They might fight from time to time but Jacob was convinced the injuries Atbash had were more than just a fight; they were from an attempted murder. Or at the very least an attempt at very severe injuries, which he supposed in that case it'd been successful. —A GREAT HONOR TO HOLD YOU UP

"SPEECH"

tags

[ATBASH CIPHER.]

ATBASH CIPHER

i should've said what i hear
i should have let myself fear

Believe it or not, Jacob and the rest of Snowbound did reassure her that she'd be safe, though of course that still didn't stop her worries. Caesar was in an ally group, after all. But they'll make sure you're safe. Atbash just had to keep telling herself that, and she knew deep down that it was true, but her mind just couldn't stop thinking. It ran and ran and ran over thoughts almost a mile a minute, thinking of all the possibilities of Caesar sneaking in and nobody thinking much of it because of how similar she looked to him and how he was an ally.

Atbash relaxed at the sight of Jacob, though it was clear that she was still a bit unnerved by her dream. "I'd like to stay up for a little bit, if that's okay," She responded to the husky, blinking at him in gratitude over his offer about getting some herbs to help her sleep. "Maybe we can just... sit down and talk? All three of us?" And anybody else who wanted to come over and join. Maybe it'd ease her worries. But Jacob also did have a point in her needing to get some sleep eventually.

bio | female | arcticplayer [hp] of snowbound

© madi

[jacob w.c.]

THE BLUE AND GREEN BELOW IS A MASTERPIECE — Hearing her first words, a light frown tugged at his lips but he gave a nod. "Alright but ya' really should try ta' get some rest soon. It ain't good for ya' ta' stay up n' there's lotsa' stuff I can give ya' ta' help with sleepin' n' nightmares if ya' need it." He should know, he had to take most of them for even an hour of decent sleep. It wasn't a good habit but it was better than the alternative, he supposed, which was never sleeping. Other than that, he also knew he needed to be careful with what he took and how much he took. In the city, he'd seen plenty of people strung out on even simple sleeping herbs or medicines only because they didn't know how much they could take or how reliant their bodies would become on it. Jacob had thankfully never had that problem, which was truly a miracle given how much he had to take to ebb his pain and nightmares. It wasn't a perfect process and he wasn't happy with all that'd happened, but he did know his way around most sleeping herbs well enough to have a good idea of what someone could handle, even when dealing with more sensitive substances.

When the feline asked if he could stay and talk for awhile, he was quick to move in closer and settled down near her. "'Ah course. I can stay as long as ya' need me," he assured her. It wasn't as though he'd be getting any sleep anyways and it made him feel good to really help take care of someone again. He wasn't happy that Atbash was struggling but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't feeling a bit distant recently. It'd be nice to talk to someone, even in this sort of situation. "What'd ya' need ta' talk about?" It was safe to assume she'd want to talk about her nightmares or whatever was troubling her (his guess was it had something to do with her brother) but some people liked to avoid whatever was bothering them at all costs. It wasn't healthy on a long term scale but right now they were just trying to get Atbash to sleep so he'd be comfortable with just about any topic.  — BUT YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL LIKE I'VE NEVER SEEN

"SPEECH"

tags

[ATBASH CIPHER.]

ATBASH CIPHER

i should've said what i hear
i should have let myself fear

Atbash nodded at Jacob's concerns about her actually falling asleep. She knew she should want to get to sleep, and that not sleeping ended up with bad consequences, but she just wanted things off of her mind right now. "I know," The Arcticplayer responded with a sigh, slowly rising up to her paws to sit up and face her visitors. She was thankful that Jacob was going to stay though. In her mind, talking would hopefully ease things off of her mind and she'd be able to sleep better, regardless of aid or not. Sure, some people didn't like to talk, but from Atbash's experience with the mind, it was better to talk. Not all the time, of course, and everybody was different. But she had a feeling that talking things out would hopefully relax her. "I promise I'll take something once I relax a bit." Her tone was genuine, and she knew that Jacob was only trying to look out for her - a leader of a group should, as well as their medic.

Atbash let out a sigh, preparing herself for the worries she was going to talk about. Maybe they were silly worries, maybe she was being stupid, but at least Jacob could hopefully give her answers that will relax her mind. "You... don't think he'll try to come back, do you?" The demon started with a frown, looking Jacob in the eyes. "If he does, will you guys help me fight him off? I-I just... don't know how well I could fight him on my own." Even without being shocked. She knew Caesar was known for using powers, and Vigenere told her how he cheated in fights.

bio | female | arcticplayer [hp] of snowbound

© madi