Gone, gone away | Grief

[Onyxdreams]

~ ☼ Outside, coming through the mouth of her den, she could hear the chirping of birds, feel the cool morning air slipping in, no longer too cold for her to be outside. It must have been a beautiful day outside today...and she wanted nothing to do with it. Curled up on her bed, shoved off from the center of the room and crammed into a corner, Onyx sobbed into a pillow, paws clutching it tightly to her chest. Five days, five whole days of waiting, of searching, and in the end nothing came out of it, they hadn't found anything, her mama...her mama was gone. She had tried, she really had, to keep up hope, that they'd find her, that things were going to be alright, but...there were no leads, there was....there was nothing. When it finally hit her, the awful reality of the situation, when that hope finally ran out, the tears finally came.

It had hurt, when Medusa died, it had been unexpected, and it had been more painful than anything she had ever felt before. It had felt like her heart was going to break, no matter what she did she just couldn't think of anything else, of anything other than the fact that Medusa was gone, and she wasn't coming back. She had done the best she could, to hold it together during the day and keep focusing on her training and her duties, and at night she had cried herself to sleep. The nightmares had been awful too, they still were, but spending the night with Rhinestone, or with Sword made it bearable. It was a pain she didn't think would ever really leave her, but she was coping, she was doing...not great, but...alright, she was doing alright, and things had been improving. Now that wound had been torn wide open once again, and it hurt, it hurt so much more than it had before, her mama was gone, she was gone.

It was gone now, her entire family had been torn apart in just the span of a single month, she and Foam were the only ones left. She couldn't bring herself to get up, to go outside, she didn't want to see any of it, not the legate's den, not her groupmates going on with their lives like things were still normal, none of it. It wasn't alright, it wasn't fair...it wasn't fair, they were both gone, both of her parents were gone, how was any of this fair?! How...how was she supposed to move on, how could she move on from this? A sob echoed her thoughts as she squeezed her pillow tighter, claws digging into the fabric as her tails lashed into the nearby wall, the noise only marginally louder than her cries

[WINTERHYMNS P.]

Winterhymns was familiar with loss and he knew how much it hurt losing family... He understood how it felt like to lose your parents or any member of family, it still stung nowadays knowing the cause of their deaths. He was so certain after all those years, it had been his own fault that they were all gone. His mother, father, brother, and the entire kingdom that he had grown up within... Maybe if he had done things a lot more differently, perhaps they would still be alive today. Regardless, he didn't wish to dwell on these thoughts for long since it usually soured his mood and the sound of sobbing made a concerned frown appear on his maw. It had been five days since the search of Rhinestonestar had began, he felt he had not done his best to find his dear friend but he had already gone out to the other groups to see if they had seen any trace of her anywhere only to be met with nothing. It stung. It hurt knowing that his friend was missing completely and her daughter was left behind, he felt he had not only failed the former legate but Onyxpaw in a sense yet... He passed on still searching, he was determined to say the least but he knew that some point that he'd have the stop the search.

He approached the den with a small frown on his maw, he could feel his heart aching ever so slightly but he took in a deep breath knowing that the best he could do right now was to comfort Onyxpaw in these hard times. He could only imagine how she felt losing her last parent at such a young age, Winnie was certain he had been older when the death of his parents had occurred. He would call out in a gentle, soft voice "Onyxpaw? Are you alright, dear?" There was a brief pause before he inquired with his head lowered slightly "May I come inside?" If she said no, well, he would respect her decision. He didn't wish to invade the girls personal space when she was still taking the loss of her parent currently. The Pendragon sat there in silence for a moment as he continued to speak as he glanced up to the skies "It is absolutely breathtaking outside, my love. It would be a shame if you did not come out to enjoy it... I'd love to see you. And I'm certain that your mother would want you to keep enjoying lovely days like these despite her absence." There was another pause as he closed his eyes taking in the small breeze that passed.

"I will keep searching for her but I know it can get rather lonely. I wouldn't be opposed to you potentially coming over and staying within my home. Like a sleepover in a way," He already had twelve little ones running around the house then himself and Magnum, Winnie didn't see a problem in potentially inviting Onyxpaw over to stay and she could keep her possessions within her den. Her wound would need time to heal, she needed to let it all out now and Winterhymns wanted to show her that he would be there for her. Not only as a legate of Palm Glades but as a friend. Seeing her in so much pain and unhappiness made his heart ache ever so slightly. "That is if you wish, I will understand if you choose not to."

[Onyxdreams]

~ ☼ As the call of her name drifted from the mouth of her den, the casilisk sunk deeper into her bed, burying her face deeper into the fabric.  She remembered someone mentioning before that crying made you feel better, but that was a lie, if anything it was just making her feel worse and worse. She wasn't alright, she felt awful, like her heart was slowly being crushed in her chest, and the thought was enough to pull another choked sob from her. There was no reply at the request for entry, save for the her continued crying and the quiet creak of her bed as she curled up under her sheets. She didn't know if she wanted to have Winter by her side or not, part of her longed for the company, to have someone to keep her from being alone, but...part of her wanted to be alone, if only so that no one had to see her like this.

The weather...it had been nice as of late, the gradual change into Spring making it easier and easier for her to be outside for longer periods of time. The mention of her mother, however, only intensified her sobs for several long moments, but the worst part of it was that he was right, she would have wanted her to enjoy these days. It seemed like such a far off thing now, and if she went outside right now she doubted that she'd find the experience an enjoyable one, not right now at least. 'Not right now'...it was strange, she knew that someday she'd get over this, that the pain would lessen with time, but it really didn't feel like that, if anything it felt like it might never really go away, and it was a scary thought.

What Winter said next wasn't something she expected, her sobs quieting if only from the surprise she felt overwhelming her for a bit. Stay...with them? She had already been spending a lot of time there, after all Swordkit was her friend, in fact, she'd go as far as to say that he was her best friend right now. "S-Stay...with you?" She...she would have visited anyways, she knew she would, to see Sword, but...to live there, all the time? Shifting, ever so slowly, she set her paws on the hard floor, and crept to the entrance of her den, bed left in disarray behind her. Gently nosing aside the curtain that covered the mouth of her den, she looked up at the legate, still sniffling and breathing heavily, eyes red and fur wet and matted from her tears. Shakily, her wings lifted from her back, reaching forward and stretching out wide to Winter, in what could have only been a silent request for a hug