((Okay so, in this Argus trips on the god ol' jungle juice! She confronts her inner psyche and the past lives she's lived. But everything said in different colored text- by her past selves she actually says outside the hallucination so if you want to react to her hallucination there's that. ))
Argus has been here a little over a week. Long enough to get a feel of the place, understand the culture around here at least, the starts of it. While she was still considered new- the clan was just starting to get it's legs. She was one of the many that had joined just as they started. She was there the night of the formation party & had a blast while there. She was already considered a part of the crew, even if she wasn't one of the originals from the boat like their captain and first mate. She was still a part of it, one single cell in a whole living breathing organism.
She had been pushing the initiation back due to wanting to see if she could fit- find herself a place within this clan. She did not want to start something she was not committed to, did not want to prove herself to a place she would in moons time consider her enemy. Yet the wolf found herself settling. Not on the cusps on civilization that she used to, but inside the dens. Hidden along other slumbering crew-mates. It was, initially a new experience, but it was welcoming. It was relaxing to listen to others near her sleep. Now she that she had a taste for it she no doubts would have trouble trying to sleep alone again.
It was when the sun was sinking below the waves, that Argus took to the Capricorn Tavern. Pushing to the bar and asking for "entrance". That was what they called it here at least. The bartender gave a little tin cup to her and ushered her outside. Telling her not to return until the sun rose and pointed to the direction of one of the smaller islands next to theirs. Big enough for grass, but not big enough for a tree.
So she took the drink, and swam to the island not far off the coast. Her dark eyes simmering into a full crimson in the dark. There was no glow in her eyes and by the time she reached the island- the drugs had taken over.
When Argus squinted into the darkness she could see the edge of the sky split with the tendrils of the wyrm. Her eyes were tinged with smoke and she exhaled black smog- ash coloring her pelt- fueling her lungs- filling it. Ash and blood soaked into her fur- searing into her mind and she took it in greedily. Each lungful she felt shudder through her from breath into her a different kind of life.
Creatures of the afterlife screamed in the distance and the shinigami- the hollow in her ached to join along. The ache of hunger crippling, her steps faltering as she tried to run to the mainland. Tried to push her conscience clear, but her conscious was clear. Not plagued with the thoughts- the pressing memories of her other's.
She turned suddenly sensing something nearby, it prickled at her side, the sorrow, isolation colored its eyes blue, fur a smokey fur. "I didn't, they left us behind- the left us. What did we do wrong? Why does no one care? I just, i couldn't deal with it." The wolf before her was half her size, wings arched over her fur as the wolf shuttered. Argus felt herself step forward- she was so hungry. "You forgive me, right argus? You know I didn't mean- I didn't mean to make us this way. I thought I thought that maybe, I'd see them there, ya know?"
Whisperpaw touched her neck, the wound still fresh on the first. Blood drenching the sands in a beautiful red. Afterall, this was the wound that killed her first, it was Whisper's doing- her loneliness, her need of a family that pushed her to desperate. Pushed her to this point. They all were suffering for it. "How was I supposed to know... we'd turn into this ?"
Argus watched as the image shifted. Eyes set a darker blue the wound shifting as three diagonal scars ran down her chest. Wingless- blood soaking their back ash and smoke mixing deeper- curling closer towards the pair. The one- the four. Obscuro had a snarl on her lips, vicious and sad- grieving and losing control. Falling apart. "Remeber what they did to us? They took them- they keep takeing them" Obscuro breathed smoke as she looked towards Argus, black meeting white.
"They... I though me being a monster was enough to protect them! I thought that if they feared me- feared us then maybe they would be safe..." Argus took another step, mindless. Wings limp at her sides, dropping along the sand clotting as the sand caught the blood in her feathers. Ash like a second skin breathing it in- they were breathing it in. "I thought i was dark enough... But maybe we need to go deeper. Anything to escape the insanity."
And laughter bubbled through them both, spiraling and unhinged. Ink and tar settled along both of their wrists. Cuts along each wrist- tendons cut, veins contaminated- black blood- black blood. Such a tedious process, but so worth it. The inside reflected the outside. Dark, dark. Blood was red only in name. Red only in others, not because they deserved better- but because red was prey. The name of this one was different. It lingered on their lips. One eye light blue, the other dark blue and green. Her voice cutting- cutting
"[color=#80000]Zactov, Zactov, ZACTOV![/color]" The beast revered their name. dual tones spiraling, the necklace around her neck clicked as the charms clicked together. A collar, but not enough- the wyrm chose them. They must pay the price. The mark of a beast carved onto her shoulder, black blood weeping in her right shoulder. "[color=#80000]Do you want more power, Argus?[/color]" The demon queen hushed. Eyes sparkled with madness as she leaned forward. Pressing close to Argus too close- too close.
"[color=#80000]The wyrm is ver~y busy Ar-go-s.[/color]" The mad wolf croned. And suddenly there were all of them- Each pressing onto her sides. Whispering chanting. Chanting. "This is for them this is for them."
"Try try again. O~h try try again. We're such a masochist, aren't we? So greedy. What of the~m? They made us this way." Argus whimpered, wings quivering as she chanted along. "They did this to us, they did this to us and all we ever do is give. Give sanity, give lives, give give give. What next? What do they want now?"
"Young and sane, Dark a cruel, Insane and spiraling. Who are you argus. Who are we now. What will they do to us now- what will we give them now- what do we have left to give?" The ghosts chanted as ash choked her lungs. As she choked on her own blood, as she stained her blood black. Wounds appeared on her fur, searing her skin. Her left wing was burning, she was getting crushed she couldn't breathe-
The dawn was still. Sun on the immaculate sand. The scent of the beach, of sea-salt and sweet tropical. Argus was still as she watched from the island, a little bottle churned in the seas. She was deathly still, vigil keeping her still until the bottled was just a speck in the sea of blue.
Dull red eyes stared blankly ahead, and she tried to remember what it was to live again. But her thoughts went to the letter. Her scrawl elegant, if not for the same garu that marked it her's. Not her name, but her name all the same.
What will they take this time? What Am I willing to give? Anything, everything and more