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+---- Thread: &BURN | development. (/showthread.php?tid=9978)
&BURN | development. - DELILAH. - 07-30-2019
Delilah Evergarden
tanglewood | 23 m/o | femme | dark faerie
tanglewood | 23 m/o | femme | dark faerie
Delilah had changed- maybe it was the way she had came back, trying to act like everything was fine and dandy again, that nothing was wrong. Maybe it was the self-blame, for being so weak that she couldn't even protect herself. Maybe it was the self-hatred, the very way she always got herself hurt. Her family had thrown her out long ago, sold her to slavers- she wasn't pure. She couldn't be pure any longer- not after.. Not after she had been enslaved so very long ago.
Everything was a process, Delilah found life to be a long process of actions that had no true meaning to them. She indulged herself in her studies, found only comfort in those for so long- In the company of others, because a medic was needed after Malphas was gone. It was her turn to step up- she had to take responsibility for her clan. She had to take care of her friends.
Every day was a chore, Delilah realized. Heal, clean, heal, bandage, study-
It all changed when she had met Him.
It was that day while she was searching for herbs, the lynx had so unelegantly ran into her. Maybe it was fate, for the two creatures of differences to meet. They were polar opposites- Delilah so gentle, so affectionate that it should be a sin. Ren was a creature of forbidden pasts, his past of murder and blood something unknown to Delilah, but she still enjoyed his company. She didn't mind the blood on her paws as she wiped at his face that day- blood was a near-daily occurance.
It took months, but Delilah had gotten Ren to warm up to her. When she lost her leg, Ren helped her. When she went blind, Ren helped her. He was always there- it was too painful for him to not be there now.
Delilah had been laying out on her porch, head on her paws as she idly listened to the sound of the alligators around her shift and move through the mud, a lost look on her face. She had lost her best friend, she had lost Ren, she had lost Morgan- and at this point, she felt as if Leroy could barely stand her. She had changed so much, and the way she had coped with everything going wrong wasn't positive.
Being without Renegadeanthems was like she was missing her other half, the bond between them pulling and pushing, the emotions they felt despite being so far away from each other- it was so painful to be without him. She missed him- She wished he was here to remind her of just who she was.
Because she was lost- and Delilah Evergarden was just a shell of who she once was, a wandering soul that didn't know how to pick herself back up and piece herself back together.
tags:
Re: &BURN | development. - wormwood. - 07-30-2019
[glow=#000,1,400]BUT NOW I UNDERSTAND YOU, AND I WILL NOT BE PART OF YOUR DESIGNS — ｡+ﾟ.[/glow]
man I wanna hug delilah
Wormwood didn't have much experience with love. He had more experience than some – Poetking – knew about, but his love had been brief and fiery and snuffed out before he had ever been able to truly enjoy it. To bask in it. In some ways he was glad for that. It meant that he didn't have to suffer like Delilah was suffering now. Some people said "it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all", but Worm wasn't sure he really agreed with that. Because if you loved and lost, it was a constant burning pain that lingered even when you weren't directly thinking about it. When you loved someone they were on your mind all the time, even after they were gone, and it led to a pain that your life would never recover from. Well, at least, that's what Worm felt.
Worm's life had also been a similar linear path of tasks that he had to do, no matter what protests he had. He had to do as he was told, and if he didn't, then there were consequences. Like losing the love of his life. So his life in the pride had been nothing but going through the motions as his family saw fit. The only reprieve he had had was when he was taking care of Poet, and even that was more tasks. Relaxing, being happy... those were secondary. His happiness didn't matter, but what did matter was making sure that he was doing what he was supposed to. It might not have been exactly the same with Delilah, but her pain was more of a familiar wound than another's might've been.
The large male had been walking slowly through the territory, going on a little stroll after having a large meal, when he stumbled upon Delilah's house, and her porch. The presence of her alligators made him feel uneasy, but he didn't like how zoned out that she seemed. She could've just been thinking, but there was a distinct sadness to her eyes that made it seem like more than just being.lost in thought. At least, not lost in happy ones. Frowning, Wormwood slowly made his way up onto the porch, carefully avoiding the alligators all around and clearing his throat so that Delilah knew he was there – if she hadn't already felt his footsteps, [glow=#793B29,1,400]"Delilah, are you alright? You look like you're a million miles away from here."[/glow]
Wormwood didn't have much experience with love. He had more experience than some – Poetking – knew about, but his love had been brief and fiery and snuffed out before he had ever been able to truly enjoy it. To bask in it. In some ways he was glad for that. It meant that he didn't have to suffer like Delilah was suffering now. Some people said "it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all", but Worm wasn't sure he really agreed with that. Because if you loved and lost, it was a constant burning pain that lingered even when you weren't directly thinking about it. When you loved someone they were on your mind all the time, even after they were gone, and it led to a pain that your life would never recover from. Well, at least, that's what Worm felt.
Worm's life had also been a similar linear path of tasks that he had to do, no matter what protests he had. He had to do as he was told, and if he didn't, then there were consequences. Like losing the love of his life. So his life in the pride had been nothing but going through the motions as his family saw fit. The only reprieve he had had was when he was taking care of Poet, and even that was more tasks. Relaxing, being happy... those were secondary. His happiness didn't matter, but what did matter was making sure that he was doing what he was supposed to. It might not have been exactly the same with Delilah, but her pain was more of a familiar wound than another's might've been.
The large male had been walking slowly through the territory, going on a little stroll after having a large meal, when he stumbled upon Delilah's house, and her porch. The presence of her alligators made him feel uneasy, but he didn't like how zoned out that she seemed. She could've just been thinking, but there was a distinct sadness to her eyes that made it seem like more than just being.lost in thought. At least, not lost in happy ones. Frowning, Wormwood slowly made his way up onto the porch, carefully avoiding the alligators all around and clearing his throat so that Delilah knew he was there – if she hadn't already felt his footsteps, [glow=#793B29,1,400]"Delilah, are you alright? You look like you're a million miles away from here."[/glow]
Re: &BURN | development. - DELILAH. - 07-30-2019
Delilah Evergarden
tanglewood | 23 m/o | femme | dark faerie
tanglewood | 23 m/o | femme | dark faerie
Me too, me too. She's gone through so damn much, poor baby.
She hadn't been one to witness the deaths of her enemies, nor to fight for the sake of defending against them- as a medic, it was her job to cure ailments and aid her clanmates. A mere pawn in a cruel game of reality, forcing her to go around and around in circles of what she believed was right, and what should be done. It was a harmful, vicious cycle. A wheel that she was bound to, even though now she was no longer tied to the duty of medic.
She had been clinging to the past for so long, the idea of just sitting here rotting in the dust just didn't appeal to her.
Trapped in her thoughts, Delilah didn't notice that Wormwood had arrived upon her home until he had spoken up, Delilah shaking her head to rid herself of the thoughts in her brain. They weren't kind ones- reliving the past, the pain. The look on Renegade's face as she died. The fear she felt when she had been captured. She was terrified of losing Renegade.
Forcing a gentle smile to her lips, the pastel feline laughed a little, leaping down from her place on her porch railing in favor of seating herself on the large swing that Ren had helped her repair so very long ago. They had repaired this house together- this was their home.
For someone who hadn't spoken about her feelings for the lynx, she was so damn head over paws for him- She adored him, loved him- Just as she confessed as she took her last breath many months ago.
"I'm quite alright- Just reminiscing about the past. It's a bit painful, however, I'll be alright." She mewed softly, lifting her paw up to her lips to lick at it gently, grooming herself behind her ears idly as she gave the larger lion a sad smile. "Would you like to sit with me? The company is welcome."
She wouldn't talk much- Delilah couldn't bother others with her issues. Especially since Wormwood had enough on his plate- taking care of his brother was a lot as it was. Delilah felt bad comparing herself to others- she didn't have it as bad as everyone else did.
tags:
Re: &BURN | development. - wormwood. - 07-31-2019
[glow=#000,1,400]BUT NOW I UNDERSTAND YOU, AND I WILL NOT BE PART OF YOUR DESIGNS — ｡+ﾟ.[/glow]
Watching as Delilah smoothly jumped onto the porch on the swing, Wormwood felt only the slightest bit of relief now that she was talking. He could understand reminiscing about the past being painful, most definutely, but that didn't mean that he wanted her to be suffering and thinking of painful past events. Nobody deserbed.to get trapped in a loop of thinking about what you had lost and feeling like you would never recover from it, especially not someone who had seemed to – from only his first few impressions – dedicate herself to the group and give her all into helping the other members.
Knowing he couldn't get up onto the swing for fear of breaking it, the lion moved a bit closer and settled down onto the porch, rumbling softly as he flicked his ears forward so that he could listen, [glow=#793B29,1,400]"I don't mind sitting with you. Your porch is very nice, and you've been nothing but kind to me since I've arrived."[/glow] Slowly resting his head down on his paws, Worm wondered what the usual protocol for this would be. The lion had been so emotionally repressed ever since he had been just a little cub that he wasn't exactly sure what the strategy would be for talking with someone about their feelings so that they could vent. He didn't just want to directly say, "hey, tell me about your trauma", but it seemed like maybe getting out some of that pain would be beneficial.
He decided that maybe the best way to do that would be to make himself vulnerable as well. It was sort of a horrifying thought, considering Worm was extremely used to keeping himself closed off and not speaking to anybody about his emotions. Letting himself be open was.... dangerous, especially with someone that he hadn't known for long, but it seemed like she could use it, and he felt an odd sort of kinship with the blind feline. Taking a deep breath, the male closed his eyes as he spoke softly, trying to get his body relax from the shivering worry that spread through him at speaking about his past, [glow=#793B29,1,400]"I definitely know what you mean about reminiscing sometimes being painful. Before Poet and I came here... things weren't so great for me. Thinking back on it always makes me feel... sort of like my brain is filled with static. Like I can't think about anything else than everything that happened. That's why I prefer now to try and think about the future. Or at least, to try my best to think about the future. This group... people like you. Everyone here has begun to make the future look a little brighter."[/glow]
Knowing he couldn't get up onto the swing for fear of breaking it, the lion moved a bit closer and settled down onto the porch, rumbling softly as he flicked his ears forward so that he could listen, [glow=#793B29,1,400]"I don't mind sitting with you. Your porch is very nice, and you've been nothing but kind to me since I've arrived."[/glow] Slowly resting his head down on his paws, Worm wondered what the usual protocol for this would be. The lion had been so emotionally repressed ever since he had been just a little cub that he wasn't exactly sure what the strategy would be for talking with someone about their feelings so that they could vent. He didn't just want to directly say, "hey, tell me about your trauma", but it seemed like maybe getting out some of that pain would be beneficial.
He decided that maybe the best way to do that would be to make himself vulnerable as well. It was sort of a horrifying thought, considering Worm was extremely used to keeping himself closed off and not speaking to anybody about his emotions. Letting himself be open was.... dangerous, especially with someone that he hadn't known for long, but it seemed like she could use it, and he felt an odd sort of kinship with the blind feline. Taking a deep breath, the male closed his eyes as he spoke softly, trying to get his body relax from the shivering worry that spread through him at speaking about his past, [glow=#793B29,1,400]"I definitely know what you mean about reminiscing sometimes being painful. Before Poet and I came here... things weren't so great for me. Thinking back on it always makes me feel... sort of like my brain is filled with static. Like I can't think about anything else than everything that happened. That's why I prefer now to try and think about the future. Or at least, to try my best to think about the future. This group... people like you. Everyone here has begun to make the future look a little brighter."[/glow]