✯ — it just sucks to try and explain

in the silence of his lonesomeness, accompanied only by the dying fire in the grill of the house he had come to call his own, would he stir. part of him there, would realize the day, three days past, truly. not that he could mind it much, he'd been too tired as of late to do anything more than just exist within his home. he hadn't been around the group much as of late, conserving his energy for the small things he found himself able to do.

stirring now, making himself stand, stretching out his back and tail with a yawn, paws stretched forward and pricking at the wooden floor in front of him. shaking out each leg, the tom left his nest of furs and fabric scraps, moving around his house slowly with the stiffness of a body that was stationary for too long. licking down his chest fur, he would wander over to where he had transplanted a few flowers some days before, observing them for a moment in an almost detached way before shaking his head. turning back to his nest and the shapes within it, he would approach again and pull out a few bundles of fabric that held dried flower petals within them. bringing them over to his work table, the tom would set them down and pull over a basket of newly dried petals. turning it over, he began to paw the petals into piles according to the flower or plant that they had come from. sniffing and pawing at his nose, he would leave his work to shuffle towards the door leading outside, seeking the warmth of the sun that he could see through the moth-eaten curtains of this home.

pushing the door open, the tom would pad out onto the patio of his home with three of those fabric bundles in his jaws, the scent of sunflowers, marigold and dandelions drifting from each when they were moved around or shifted against one another. laying his body down in a patch of sunlight that had warmed the wood, he would slowly begin to groom himself, his new journal brought forward to rest beside him in the case that any wanted to speak with him. rolling onto his side with a heavy huff, the bundles close to his head, gaze on the blue sky and clouds drifting far ahead. had he really spent his birthday inside, a few days ago? that he had. closing his eyes now, limbs stretching out with a silent groan. 'happy birthday to me', he would think.

✯ — MALE. TANGLE. MED DIFF. CAT. GRIM. LANGUAGE GUIDE. — ✯

✯ — it just sucks to try and explain

Gaze pulled from the skies above to that of Cory's sideways Visage, would the merchant roll back onto his belly with a huff of air escaping him from the quick movement. It seems he'd put on a bit of weight waiting out the colder months before taking up his traveling again. Gaze flicking down to the box slid towards him by the other, tail twitching and ears swiveling forward. Once more, amaryllis would show itself amidst the Tangles of fur upon his shoulders, grass and mosses a common sight upon him by now. Irritating were the rumors that he was unkempt, such rumor tellers often seen sporting a fresh slap of claws from the male.

Narrowing his eyes to slits for a moment, peering at Cory as he tried to make sense of the box. A gift? That's what it seemed like, at least, and his words seemed to match up. Did ... did he somehow know it was his birthday recently? Tipping his head slightly, he reached out a paw to gently pull the box back towards himself as he sat up properly, interest glittering in his eyes. Who wouldn't be curious about well, getting a gift? He certainly was, and hoped it wasn't a prank.

Gently removing the lid from the box after a quick glance to confirm that it was okay, after a quickly scrawled note in his journal, "Are you sure?", before the curiosity overwhelmed him. Well it was a bit rude to not wait but curiosity killed the cat after all. Tail fluffing a bit with cautious excitement as he opened the box, revealing within its confines a time-loved silver chain and pendant. Eyes widening at the tree of life, a clenching in his chest began.

Was it because he was a servant of death, that symbols of life reminded him of times long gone? Was it because he was a servant that he was reminded so suddenly of the two scraps of fur he'd called his own and raised? Was it because of that, that he saw them so quickly in his memories? Unbeknownst to him, would tears well in his eyes, threatening to fall as he sniffed once. Blinking, the dam broke and the tears fell, putting his paw to his chest in confusion before to his face, beginning to wipe at the tears. Life. His twins. Memories were all that he had left of them but life went on. Life was part of death and death of life.

After a few seconds of attempting to straighten his composure, "Tree of life? Thank you. I'm sorry for the tears." he wrote again, sniffling a few times before reaching out to brush the silver with his paw, rubbing at his eyes again with his other paw, "Can I ask why you gave me this?", he hesitated, thyme and pink camelia blooming in small bursts across his shoulder, interspersed by daffodils.

[ amaryllis - curiosity. thyme - courage. pink camelia - longing. daffodils - questioning/why. ]

✯ — MALE. TANGLE. MED DIFF. CAT. GRIM. LANGUAGE GUIDE. — ✯

✯ — it just sucks to try and explain

the silence of the situation was a bit deafening, even if the intentions were well meant and sweet. his gaze flickered down to the silver once again, warmth in his face, grateful for the fur that hid the sudden warming. paw outstretched, gently caressing it as he listened to cory's breathing until he was answered. he would pause for quite a time, sitting still as cory stepped behind him and lifted the necklace to slide it over his head and into it's new resting place, his eyes fixed downwards until his paw touched and lifted the pendant to observe it. cory believed that it belonged with him ... how could he say no? especially to a gift like this? there was thought put behind it, much more thought than he would have considered. until late, they had been strangers even within the confines of camp, two different lives walking different paths.

but now, there was something to bind them together, something so innocent as a gift. a gift that he knew he couldn't forget no matter what, a gift that he would forever cherish. luckily, the pendant would never be lost for long, he knew how to fix weak links in the chain. sitting there in the suddenly comfortable silence, his face holding a happiness he hadn't felt in forever. there, he would open his mouth and move his lips, smiling as he mouthed so silently a 'thank you', unsure if cory would see it or not. gently moving the pendant as if entranced, the tom would smile down at it. yes, the memories hurt, but he was grateful for that. something would be wrong if the memories no longer hurt him, something would be incredibly wrong.

there was some part of him here and now that desired to lean back against the other, seeking some kind of physical assurance. even he wouldn't know what the hell was going on inside of his head, even if he was outside looking in. stopping himself before he could do so, confusion thrilling through him for a moment, followed by the faint echo of disappointment. what in the hells was up with him? had the loneliness started to drive him insane? clearing his throat as he felt his face grow hotter, the tom stepping away a bit shyly, licking down his chest fur as he stole a glance at cory, gray eyes filled with more light than before. reaching for his journal, he scrawled in it with an obsessed sort of quickness, turning it around and pushing it towards cory with a turn of his head, whiskers twitching as the flowers tangled in his fur released small bouts of fragrance, columbines slowly joining with the other blossoms. 'thank you, cory. my birthday was recent, i was a little weirded out that someone might know.', his ears swiveled awkwardly, blinking rapidly a few times.

[columbine - i feel warm/giddy/embarrassed]

✯ — MALE. TANGLE. MED DIFF. CAT. GRIM. LANGUAGE GUIDE. — ✯