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WHAT GOES UP MUST COME D[O]WN + ressurection/joining - Kydobi - 10-21-2020
[align=center]
HOW COULD YOU BE SO HEARTLESS -
♕tags-powers♕
[OOC: ]
And where was he this time? Spiraling? No. His eyes were closed and this time, death did not grant him sweet sweet amnesia. He remembered everything. The failure he was to his people, that savage he let into his home. The betrayal and the pain. He was torn apart alive, he remembered the agony. Much worse and much more brutal than anything Aurum could have ever delivered. It was traumatic, so sudden and so so so brutal.
Still, his eyes were closed. Still as day he wished he never woke up. Never forced to give life a try again and again. Once was enough, but this second time? This third time? He wanted it to be over. It was exhausting, how bad was he at everything that he couldn't even die? Kydobi opened his eyes, staring at the dirt below him. He was not buried this time... There probably wasn't even anything left to bury. Little Aine... his son... the children.. he failed them all.
The weight in his heart was not the only heavy thing, after laying there for a couple hours the man would move his his leg only to see it far too short and a paw far too fluffy. Eyes narrowed, something was wrong. This was not the lean and built limb he knew it to be, the one he worked to carve from childhood. This body.. he raised his neck to look was too soft.
No. no. no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no!
This couldn't be happening, this wasn't his body? This child's body? Much to his dismay as he got up he was clumsy. His paws felt too big and his tail too heavy and his head was a looming weight. He should just know how to move, but something was clicking between his mind and his body. Muscle memory didn't work if it was a new set of them. God.
What about the powers he worked so hard to master?
He tried to phase in and out, become intangible but it only flickered for less than a moment before he was visible. No. His heart was thundering and he became quite aware. Is that me? The drumming rhythm was very loud... so was everything else. Suddenly all the noises became too much, his ears began ringing and he couldn't concentrate. In his attempt to inhale and calm himself he smelled things far too much and it was just overwhelming. Shutting his eyes he was cover his ears and slam his face into the dirt.
He would have to start all over again.
This was hell.
****************
It had taken a long while but one thing was for sure, he couldn't go back to the Pitt. There wasn't any point, and while he justified his reasoning for being that he couldn't be of much help. However the guilt seeping into his fur told another story. Deep down, even if he lied to himself, he knew he was too scared to go back. Too ashamed to face his failure. Fearful of Silentgrave. He didn't want to relive Aine crying because he had die. He didn't want to go back and try again.
The cycle was terrifying. When he died again... would he come back? Would he be forced to live life? Even if the events that occurred were to differ it all felt like a hopeless limbo at this point. His whole life- well his whole past two lives were spent trying to do what he felt other's thought was right. Trying to make sure everyone was happy and safe. Always trying to prove he wasn't a bad guy. Fighting every damn day to do what was just.
Well the man was tired.
And he couldn't even say he never asked for the throne. He had desired leadership from the beginning. To rule was in his blood. The jaguar couldn't even deny the ambition in his heart, even if dormant there was always a subtle end goal. That was why he didn't reject Goldie's offer.
Of course, his final chance to prove to himself, his parents, to everyone ended in utter failure. There was no noble cause like his first death, he was slaughtered like a cow and probably forgotten. Only remembered as a sob story... if anyone even knew.
And if they didn't? There was something in just simply disappearing that he liked. Starting over... no he didn't want to start anything. He just simply was to be. To exist. There no longer was a cause other than survival. Even then should death prevent itself he would like to think he would jump in its cold arms. But then he would have to start again.
Despite his spiraling mind, he did have to come up with a plan. Even if his mind was the same, its connection to his body or this younger version of himself was not. There was something different and he was oh so weak. To be slaughtered again in this youthful time was not ideal but very very real and likely possible if he didn't find a group soon.
Which was why he was here, slowly traveling among the twisting and winding confusion of branches. If he was in his old body he would've simply scaled the trees with ease, but he had to climb trees the old fashioned way and this baby body did not comply. Even trotting had proven a little difficult and running was a short lived endeavor. Creeping around? His round belly brushed the floor. It was perhaps one of the most frustrating things he had ever experienced. The idea of having to reteach himself and discipline his body all over again... it took years to carve it into that perfection it was.
There definitely was a group nearby and all he could do was hope they were kind enough to take him in.
[sub][W]isker[/sub]
♕tags-powers♕
[OOC: ]
And where was he this time? Spiraling? No. His eyes were closed and this time, death did not grant him sweet sweet amnesia. He remembered everything. The failure he was to his people, that savage he let into his home. The betrayal and the pain. He was torn apart alive, he remembered the agony. Much worse and much more brutal than anything Aurum could have ever delivered. It was traumatic, so sudden and so so so brutal.
Still, his eyes were closed. Still as day he wished he never woke up. Never forced to give life a try again and again. Once was enough, but this second time? This third time? He wanted it to be over. It was exhausting, how bad was he at everything that he couldn't even die? Kydobi opened his eyes, staring at the dirt below him. He was not buried this time... There probably wasn't even anything left to bury. Little Aine... his son... the children.. he failed them all.
The weight in his heart was not the only heavy thing, after laying there for a couple hours the man would move his his leg only to see it far too short and a paw far too fluffy. Eyes narrowed, something was wrong. This was not the lean and built limb he knew it to be, the one he worked to carve from childhood. This body.. he raised his neck to look was too soft.
No. no. no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no!
This couldn't be happening, this wasn't his body? This child's body? Much to his dismay as he got up he was clumsy. His paws felt too big and his tail too heavy and his head was a looming weight. He should just know how to move, but something was clicking between his mind and his body. Muscle memory didn't work if it was a new set of them. God.
What about the powers he worked so hard to master?
He tried to phase in and out, become intangible but it only flickered for less than a moment before he was visible. No. His heart was thundering and he became quite aware. Is that me? The drumming rhythm was very loud... so was everything else. Suddenly all the noises became too much, his ears began ringing and he couldn't concentrate. In his attempt to inhale and calm himself he smelled things far too much and it was just overwhelming. Shutting his eyes he was cover his ears and slam his face into the dirt.
He would have to start all over again.
This was hell.
****************
It had taken a long while but one thing was for sure, he couldn't go back to the Pitt. There wasn't any point, and while he justified his reasoning for being that he couldn't be of much help. However the guilt seeping into his fur told another story. Deep down, even if he lied to himself, he knew he was too scared to go back. Too ashamed to face his failure. Fearful of Silentgrave. He didn't want to relive Aine crying because he had die. He didn't want to go back and try again.
The cycle was terrifying. When he died again... would he come back? Would he be forced to live life? Even if the events that occurred were to differ it all felt like a hopeless limbo at this point. His whole life- well his whole past two lives were spent trying to do what he felt other's thought was right. Trying to make sure everyone was happy and safe. Always trying to prove he wasn't a bad guy. Fighting every damn day to do what was just.
Well the man was tired.
And he couldn't even say he never asked for the throne. He had desired leadership from the beginning. To rule was in his blood. The jaguar couldn't even deny the ambition in his heart, even if dormant there was always a subtle end goal. That was why he didn't reject Goldie's offer.
Of course, his final chance to prove to himself, his parents, to everyone ended in utter failure. There was no noble cause like his first death, he was slaughtered like a cow and probably forgotten. Only remembered as a sob story... if anyone even knew.
And if they didn't? There was something in just simply disappearing that he liked. Starting over... no he didn't want to start anything. He just simply was to be. To exist. There no longer was a cause other than survival. Even then should death prevent itself he would like to think he would jump in its cold arms. But then he would have to start again.
Despite his spiraling mind, he did have to come up with a plan. Even if his mind was the same, its connection to his body or this younger version of himself was not. There was something different and he was oh so weak. To be slaughtered again in this youthful time was not ideal but very very real and likely possible if he didn't find a group soon.
Which was why he was here, slowly traveling among the twisting and winding confusion of branches. If he was in his old body he would've simply scaled the trees with ease, but he had to climb trees the old fashioned way and this baby body did not comply. Even trotting had proven a little difficult and running was a short lived endeavor. Creeping around? His round belly brushed the floor. It was perhaps one of the most frustrating things he had ever experienced. The idea of having to reteach himself and discipline his body all over again... it took years to carve it into that perfection it was.
There definitely was a group nearby and all he could do was hope they were kind enough to take him in.
Re: WHAT GOES UP MUST COME D[O]WN + ressurection/joining - VASS . - 10-21-2020
It was nautral, the want to rule, the crave for power, the lust for battle, they were all heady things. Intoxicating in every meaning of the word, stiffing whatever true reason for it until you found yourself twisted beyond recognition. The boy king, he had been called. He had been heraled for a great many things growing up, even without the same power his mother and sister both had curling under his pelt, the muscle, the demand for respect. Vaas was ruthless, even in his small tribe.
Not that it mattered anymore.
No, they all burned, succumbed to the elements of the volcano, either in the slow rolling magma or the smog plumed up into the air, into their lungs. Vaas didn't care, didn't allow it for himself, instead he moved on, moved away from the isle that he still craved to return to: he found Palmclan, and it was enough. It had to be enough.
Spotting the small cub along the border, stumbling on uneven feet, The warrior felt the trickle of weariness. Not for the cub, but the flicker-flash defensive- threat that loomed over the impression of them. It was instictual, and it was unwanted.
However he flashed a smile along his maw, the large tiger coming to stand beyond the other's vision, the blade along his hip a sudden weight, a noticeable presence. "Look 'an little lost, kid" The Ex-boss had stated, tired, solem eyes watching the other's head, rather than ever meet their eyes. "you've found yourself along our border, something i can help you with?"
[table][tr][td]Not that it mattered anymore.
No, they all burned, succumbed to the elements of the volcano, either in the slow rolling magma or the smog plumed up into the air, into their lungs. Vaas didn't care, didn't allow it for himself, instead he moved on, moved away from the isle that he still craved to return to: he found Palmclan, and it was enough. It had to be enough.
Spotting the small cub along the border, stumbling on uneven feet, The warrior felt the trickle of weariness. Not for the cub, but the flicker-flash defensive- threat that loomed over the impression of them. It was instictual, and it was unwanted.
However he flashed a smile along his maw, the large tiger coming to stand beyond the other's vision, the blade along his hip a sudden weight, a noticeable presence. "Look 'an little lost, kid" The Ex-boss had stated, tired, solem eyes watching the other's head, rather than ever meet their eyes. "you've found yourself along our border, something i can help you with?"
![[Image: a.gif]](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/523947345566629911/524378771198050323/a.gif)
"take me into your heart , accept me as your savior nail me to the fucking cross and let me be reborn" — an antagonist with a silver tongue , a pirate with nothing to loose and everything to gain . vaas montenegro ; he who lives to fight demons should be weary he himself does not become one ." it's not like i am fucking crazy — "
Re: WHAT GOES UP MUST COME D[O]WN + ressurection/joining - number nine. - 10-23-2020
Death was something that Number Nine had a decent amount of knowledge about. Not only had he died several times in the past, only return in a new body, or a new time, or a new world, but his husband was an overseer of all things spirit. It would've been impossible for Nine not to know about death and the steps that came beyond it, since he was constantly interacting with it in some way. Of course, his interactions with spirits and ghouls had become much less frequent as of late, mainly because he didn't have the loving and ghostly presence of Lewis at his side. He still had hopes that his husband would eventually arrive to live within Palmclan with him, but for the moment, Number Nine was simply content to wait, and live. He really did enjoy living. He could easily imagine the pain that Kydobi was going through – if he had known about Kydobi's past, that is – since he had lived through it all before. The pain, the death, the return, the disappointment... it was all the same, ultimately. At least now, he wasn't trapped in a body with no true control, like when he had been possessed.
Unfortunately, Nine probably wouldn't be able to help out with any of the pain that Kydobi was feeling. Without the other being forthcoming about his situation, then the jaguar would be entirely unaware of the situation. He didn't have the power to see spirits – he was only able to communicate with some through the help of Lewis – and even if he did, he wouldn't have recognized Kydobi's soul. He had not been around for the former ardent's rise to power, nor had he been present within the groups for the other's grisly end. If Number Nine had truly known the full situation, it was a bit of a toss-up on whether or not he would've really felt any sympathy for Kydobi. The warrior certainly knew what it meant to want to die for your home, and the mercenary certainly couldn't say too much about living somewhere with questionable morals, considering his past birthplace. Still, it would've been obvious that Kydobi had made many mistakes, and there was a large chance that Nine wouldn't have felt sympathy, but rather pity for the former Pittian.
Regardless, none of this would matter, for the moment. As of right now, Nine only saw the child on the border as just that – a defenseless child, in need of a home. Long strides brought the winged jaguar over to his eventual position next to Vaas, a small smile curling on his muzzle. His eyes, although mostly hidden by the flowers that laid over them, were glimmering with care and worry for the little cub. He rumbled from the back of his throat to the little one, adding onto what the tiger beside him had already said, "Hey there... did'ja lose your parents? Palmclan can help you, if that's th'case..." Nine had found out that they already took care of one foreign child while they were lost in the past, so what was another one? Of course, there was always the chance that this particular cub needed a permanent home to stay in. If that was the case, then Numher Nine would be more than happy to offer his help.
Unfortunately, Nine probably wouldn't be able to help out with any of the pain that Kydobi was feeling. Without the other being forthcoming about his situation, then the jaguar would be entirely unaware of the situation. He didn't have the power to see spirits – he was only able to communicate with some through the help of Lewis – and even if he did, he wouldn't have recognized Kydobi's soul. He had not been around for the former ardent's rise to power, nor had he been present within the groups for the other's grisly end. If Number Nine had truly known the full situation, it was a bit of a toss-up on whether or not he would've really felt any sympathy for Kydobi. The warrior certainly knew what it meant to want to die for your home, and the mercenary certainly couldn't say too much about living somewhere with questionable morals, considering his past birthplace. Still, it would've been obvious that Kydobi had made many mistakes, and there was a large chance that Nine wouldn't have felt sympathy, but rather pity for the former Pittian.
Regardless, none of this would matter, for the moment. As of right now, Nine only saw the child on the border as just that – a defenseless child, in need of a home. Long strides brought the winged jaguar over to his eventual position next to Vaas, a small smile curling on his muzzle. His eyes, although mostly hidden by the flowers that laid over them, were glimmering with care and worry for the little cub. He rumbled from the back of his throat to the little one, adding onto what the tiger beside him had already said, "Hey there... did'ja lose your parents? Palmclan can help you, if that's th'case..." Nine had found out that they already took care of one foreign child while they were lost in the past, so what was another one? Of course, there was always the chance that this particular cub needed a permanent home to stay in. If that was the case, then Numher Nine would be more than happy to offer his help.
HELLBENT ON MAKING YOU LOVE ME TOO
Re: WHAT GOES UP MUST COME D[O]WN + ressurection/joining - Kydobi - 10-23-2020
[align=center]
HOW COULD YOU BE SO HEARTLESS -
♕tags-powers♕
[OOC: ]
It was quite frightening to realize that he heard the tiger coming but he didn't really hear him. Among all the other noises he couldn't quite decipher the footsteps. Thankfully he did see him. The world already seemed much larger than he recalled but to have this grown brute looming above him, he became ever aware of how exposed he was. How could he strategize a way to safely navigate without his powers or his size? If he couldn't even rely on his basic senses to protect him he could only hope he could defend himself. Anyone could tell what the outcome could be. Any moment he spent briefly denying his current size disappeared as he had to look up. Kydobi was forced to accept the truth. When they referred to him as "kid" he was offended.
He wasn't a kid and he wasn't lost. Kydobi did everything with purpose, and if he was he was confidently so. Eyebrows pulled down and his lip pulled up in irritation, "I'm not a ki-". This voice was not his, it did not match the deep masculine one in his head. The voice of his old body. Even though they couldn't tell the brute was embarassed. He quieted down..
Yet another larger feline would stride up, a fellow jaguar. Despite them calling him a child he was pleased to be in the company of his own kind.
Did he lose his parents? A brief detail he had forgotten emerged, he had been planning to go check on his home kingdom. To leave for however long it took to go see them... He failed that too. Never even got the chance to leave the Pitt. His ears pinned back as he looked to the floor, it was easier to hold his head down that stare up at the two. He only gave himself a moment to mourn before he started trying to decide what to do. Was there any point in explaining?
If they know who I am they might hate me just because of where I am from. It wasn't out of the question and he had no clue for how long he had been gone. For all he knew this Palm Clan was just another adversary of the Pitt. Kydobi did not want to start again. He didn't want to exist. But in order to not exist he had to become someone else to these people.
"I don't have parents and I am far from lost. I've come to join your clan.", he said confidently as he looked in both their eyes. He needed protection till he grew back to his former glory and if everyone here was of the same grandeur as these two then he should be okay. As long as they thought of him as a helpless kid.
[sub][W]isker[/sub]
♕tags-powers♕
[OOC: ]
It was quite frightening to realize that he heard the tiger coming but he didn't really hear him. Among all the other noises he couldn't quite decipher the footsteps. Thankfully he did see him. The world already seemed much larger than he recalled but to have this grown brute looming above him, he became ever aware of how exposed he was. How could he strategize a way to safely navigate without his powers or his size? If he couldn't even rely on his basic senses to protect him he could only hope he could defend himself. Anyone could tell what the outcome could be. Any moment he spent briefly denying his current size disappeared as he had to look up. Kydobi was forced to accept the truth. When they referred to him as "kid" he was offended.
He wasn't a kid and he wasn't lost. Kydobi did everything with purpose, and if he was he was confidently so. Eyebrows pulled down and his lip pulled up in irritation, "I'm not a ki-". This voice was not his, it did not match the deep masculine one in his head. The voice of his old body. Even though they couldn't tell the brute was embarassed. He quieted down..
Yet another larger feline would stride up, a fellow jaguar. Despite them calling him a child he was pleased to be in the company of his own kind.
Did he lose his parents? A brief detail he had forgotten emerged, he had been planning to go check on his home kingdom. To leave for however long it took to go see them... He failed that too. Never even got the chance to leave the Pitt. His ears pinned back as he looked to the floor, it was easier to hold his head down that stare up at the two. He only gave himself a moment to mourn before he started trying to decide what to do. Was there any point in explaining?
If they know who I am they might hate me just because of where I am from. It wasn't out of the question and he had no clue for how long he had been gone. For all he knew this Palm Clan was just another adversary of the Pitt. Kydobi did not want to start again. He didn't want to exist. But in order to not exist he had to become someone else to these people.
"I don't have parents and I am far from lost. I've come to join your clan.", he said confidently as he looked in both their eyes. He needed protection till he grew back to his former glory and if everyone here was of the same grandeur as these two then he should be okay. As long as they thought of him as a helpless kid.
Re: WHAT GOES UP MUST COME D[O]WN + ressurection/joining - number nine. - 10-25-2020
This kid's attitude sure was... unique. Number Nine knew that it wasn't exactly unusual, for a kid all on their own to act all tough and macho to hide any negative emotions they may be feeling inside. Hell, he had done that when he was younger, within his old group of new strangers after having escaped from the research facility that held him. He had been in a clan of vicious brutes and murderers, and he had just been a kid, without any parents or anybody to lean back on. Eventually he had gotten Lewis, yes, but before that he had just been... alone. It was because of that loneliness that he had ended up yearning for power, lashing out at others and trying to train himself to be an ultimate warrior. It had all just been a defense mechanism, meant to make him feel safe even as everything seemed to be falling apart around him. Of course, he liked himself far better the way that he was now – happy, free, and not on a constant search for some source of unlimited power. His skills as a bounty hunter and warrior came from within him, and not from some false mask he put on to be around others.
The jaguar also knew that trying to confront the kid about this cover would be a useless activity hellbent towards failure. He had never been willing to admit what he was hiding behind when he was younger, and he doubted that Tsekani would be willing to admit it either. So, he decided to move past it for now. If Tsekani said that he didn't have any parents, then he didn't have any parents – which meant that he needed others around to make sure he stayed safe. Others like those within Palmclan, and Number Nine himself. Chuckling a bit as he acknowledged this, Nine flicked one of his broad wings in the direction of Palmclan's camp, saying with a small smile, "Well... if you're here to join Palmclan, then I don't see a reason why you shouldn't be able to. After all, you'll be safer around here, rather than wandering around." The warrior didn't really think that the Twisted Forest was as mysterious and dark as some made it out to be, but it still wasn't the place for a cub. Tilting his head to one side, Nine then questioned, "Before we lead you back to camp, though... you got a name? Cause if not, we'll just have to keep calling you kid." It was pretty clear Tsekani wouldn't like that, so hopefully it would motivate him to speak up.
The jaguar also knew that trying to confront the kid about this cover would be a useless activity hellbent towards failure. He had never been willing to admit what he was hiding behind when he was younger, and he doubted that Tsekani would be willing to admit it either. So, he decided to move past it for now. If Tsekani said that he didn't have any parents, then he didn't have any parents – which meant that he needed others around to make sure he stayed safe. Others like those within Palmclan, and Number Nine himself. Chuckling a bit as he acknowledged this, Nine flicked one of his broad wings in the direction of Palmclan's camp, saying with a small smile, "Well... if you're here to join Palmclan, then I don't see a reason why you shouldn't be able to. After all, you'll be safer around here, rather than wandering around." The warrior didn't really think that the Twisted Forest was as mysterious and dark as some made it out to be, but it still wasn't the place for a cub. Tilting his head to one side, Nine then questioned, "Before we lead you back to camp, though... you got a name? Cause if not, we'll just have to keep calling you kid." It was pretty clear Tsekani wouldn't like that, so hopefully it would motivate him to speak up.
HELLBENT ON MAKING YOU LOVE ME TOO
Re: WHAT GOES UP MUST COME D[O]WN + ressurection/joining - RHINESTONE. - 10-31-2020
LEADER ❝ RHINE ❞ PALMCLAN
Joiners weren't anything new for Palmclan, and that was something that Rhinestone was grateful for. After so much time spent agonizing over his own decisions, and whether or not the group as a whole would survive after the tragedy that was the hurricane, new faces were more than welcome. Of course, if Rhine had known Kydobi - or rather, Tsekani's history, he may not have felt the same way. He wasn't a big fan of pre-judging others on account of their pasts, but even he had heard tales of The Pitt, and what they had done. Maybe it was just a side-effect of hearing about outside groups, or perhaps people just didn't like The Pitt that much, but it was still impossible not to hear talk of them quite commonly these days. Even after all that had changed, it seemed as though things still had a habit of staying the same. Regardless, for now, the rust red feline had no knowledge of Tsekani's past, nor where he had come from, so the "child" was safe from any judgements. Or rather, the cub who stubbornly refused to be known as a kid. Just hearing that little cut-off snippet was enough to make Rhinestone chuckle as he approached, brushing past Number Nine and coming to rest behind Vaas. His tail flicked to and fro as he inspected Tsekani, wondering where the boy had come from.
If Nine's words were anything to go by, then Tsekani was here to join, which caused a small smile to curl onto Rhine's muzzle. As worried as he was about all the children that had come to join them, mysteriously absent of parents, he was also very glad to be able to welcome them in. Palmclan had always been welcoming to all - even those from the outside, despite their past policies. This meant that not only would the kids be safe, but they would also be free to live a life with those around them who cared and were welcoming with them. Just the thought caused Rhinestone's words to take on a bubbly edge as he greeted the other, chuckling, "Hello there, little one. Or, I guess, not so little one. My name is Rhinestonestar, and I am the leader of this place, if you can believe it. Like Nine said, we'll need a name before we can bring you back to camp - just so we know what to call you." He didn't want Tsekani to feel pressured to give up his name, of course, since he didn't wanna cause unneeded stress - or worse, grief if the boy had never been named by his parents. However, it would be rather rude to just say hey, you, whenever they needed the cub to listen.
If Nine's words were anything to go by, then Tsekani was here to join, which caused a small smile to curl onto Rhine's muzzle. As worried as he was about all the children that had come to join them, mysteriously absent of parents, he was also very glad to be able to welcome them in. Palmclan had always been welcoming to all - even those from the outside, despite their past policies. This meant that not only would the kids be safe, but they would also be free to live a life with those around them who cared and were welcoming with them. Just the thought caused Rhinestone's words to take on a bubbly edge as he greeted the other, chuckling, "Hello there, little one. Or, I guess, not so little one. My name is Rhinestonestar, and I am the leader of this place, if you can believe it. Like Nine said, we'll need a name before we can bring you back to camp - just so we know what to call you." He didn't want Tsekani to feel pressured to give up his name, of course, since he didn't wanna cause unneeded stress - or worse, grief if the boy had never been named by his parents. However, it would be rather rude to just say hey, you, whenever they needed the cub to listen.
NEVER OPENED MYSELF THIS WAY
LIFE IS OURS, WE LIVE IT OUR WAY
LIFE IS OURS, WE LIVE IT OUR WAY
— Reggan