OH WHAT A LOVELY DAY | silly cake raid au

[ooc: blame the Pitt server but hey, cake au got extended to this raid!

Okay so this is not gonna affect anything outside this thread and is just a silly little fun thing for us all because the Pitt is made up of whimsy and violence apparently - so in this silly raid au EVERYONE IS MADE OF CAKE! Up to you what kind but we’re all cakeified.

As said this doesn’t affect anything but this thread, though I guess if you want it can be your character remembers this as a really really weird dream or something - this also means resulting injuries/death aren’t permanent here, so have fun!]

So the world was experiencing a sudden sharp rise in the number of cakes (and a sudden sharp drop in the number of living animals that were still animals) but that wouldn’t deter them, they did after all have a livelihood to consider.

Which is why when the roar - that sounded slightly more squishy - sounded out of ”GIVE NO QUARTER PITTIANS” the resulting boards of cakeified warriors wearing armour (which Amy as well have been their own personal baking tins now - and no doubt some felt rather toasty in the trek from the desert) raided through the mountain passes.

Silent himself was stood upon the high rise of the battlefield, watching cakeified limbs fly apart and icing spatter the ground where blood should really be - his icing lined gums pulling up over porcelain set teeth

Ugh, he missed actual limbs - cakes just didn’t taste the same.

The sudden rise in cake based life forms was... frankly a little concerning, at least to Aurum. Some seemed particularly amused by it, but even as he tasted delightfully of strawberry, he couldn't help but wonder what the hell could've been going on in God's mind. Since the angel's escape from heaven, had everyone simply decided to throw up their hands and go mad? It certainly seemed plausible, given the great beyond's tendency towards... mood swings. Unfortunately, the lion was given little time to contemplate this ridiculous new existence, because suddenly the disgusting scent of Pittians rose in the air, unpleasantly mixed with the smell of baked goods. Clenching his jaw unpleasantly, the faintly strawberry smelling lion flew up into the air, snarling directly at Silent, "Get your damn rats off of our territory!" With an unpleasant look of rage still upon his face, Aurum attempted to use his fire elementals to try and sling a ball of flame directly at Silent's torso, hoping to land a hit that would set the rest of him aflame. The male doubted that the scent of burning cake would be too pleasant, but he didn't particularly care.

CLONY
[ age mover of the oblivions ]

What is cake? Clony had remembered asking the question to their hive mind once before, long before they'd arrived in Elysium. The question had been answered by a few clones, one saying it was food, another saying it was a treat, and a third and final one shrugging and saying that it was probably a swear. Waking up one day to find that they were cake? Completely and utterly absurd. They had no idea how to deal with this. To top it off, there was combat today! They had no idea who these people filtering into the mountains were, but they would be dealt with.

"What's up fuckers?!" Clony screeched, descending down onto the battlefield. Cake was easily destroyed, but being killed never really bothered Clony in the first place. They just wanted to fight - Aurum had the most vocal Pittian taken care of at the time being, and so the legate decided to wait for someone to come to them to fight. Maybe they finally, finally could taste what a treat was like? Wishful thinking in this absurd scenario, but one that they would take.

TAGS 7/6/20: