ϟ GOLDENLUXURY "GOLDIE" ROUX ϟ
noun
ϟ the clash between the eye and the raging storms. ϟ the healing warmth of the sun and the raw brutality of the seas. ϟ the self-fulfilling prophecy and the stolen future. ϟ
"I AM GOLDENLUXURY ROUX."

Finding oneself halting at the submarine door is something she, personally, had experienced herself, plenty of times before. While Goldie had never been an inherently cautious nor reluctant individual, there were times she had cast her own self out. It'd always been her home, the vehicle, but it was not always one she considered herself worthy of. Nonetheless, she's push herself into a position where she is undeniable worthy. Her papa's bedroom, her old bed next to it, and his office still laid untouched within it, aside from dusting and small housekeeping she made sure to keep on top of when she could. It was an important room and to be left how she found it. She now has her own office within the structure, with a bigger bed to suit her needs, though it has reflected a similar look to how it always has. Her dreamcatcher still tied above her bed, though its uses less effective than she'd use to believe, there is more so a sentiment with it now, the perch and food for Lynn, little closets and chests with different possessions stored inside, some paintings she'd made and liked hung around, and her more commonly worn accessories laying out on top of a nightstand. The only difference, now, was the heaps of papers and notes that remained on her desk, along with a pile of maps and books she pushed to the side. It was all hers, and her family's, and most importantly, her papa's.

The tiger was currently going through plans, scribbling out ideas and crossing off things that she no longer thinks practical. They are entering an essential point between their different groups, she believes, though her crewmates would remain unaware as she continues to keep secrets, for now. She cannot say she necessarily likes planning this way so much; writing and reading has never been her strength, but she finds it kind of the most effective way of doing it, and remains concentrated on it and her thoughts. However, the knock was a welcome distraction, pulling her from the work for a moment. An overworking girl throughout her entire life, unlikely to ever truly stop, until she is forced to, such as, in situations like these.

Goldenluxury pushed her plans to the side, keeping her most important ones hidden by a few others she cared less about being public. Then, she would move her way to the entrance, adjusting her blue feather earring and stretching out her legs a bit. She opened the door, scanning the figure in front of her before putting on a small, welcoming smile. "Hiya," she greets casually with a nod. Perhaps they needed her for something? Some directions? Questions? Or maybe they'd like a nice chat. It has been a while since she's genuinely gotten to have one of those. "What's up?"

ϟ GOLDENLUXURY "GOLDIE" ROUX ϟ
noun
ϟ the clash between the eye and the raging storms. ϟ the healing warmth of the sun and the raw brutality of the seas. ϟ the self-fulfilling prophecy and the stolen future. ϟ
"I AM GOLDENLUXURY ROUX."

//soRRY THIS GOT SO LONG DSFSDF

The openness of their explanations was something that she could deeply respect, and she would be sure to return the favor. To say that she dealt with loss and disappearance well wasn't exactly the best way to put her coping methods. She had learned a lot, certainly, and she did have quite a lot to say, but there are certainly situations where she simply wasn't handling them well. The female ignored many of her own emotions and problems now, in favor of the crew. But, she still could offer plenty of advice for this, she believes. So, the captain would soften her expression, sighing silently. "You should come inside." The tiger offers in a light tone, moving to the side for them. If they were to oblige, she would sit down and begin.

"I don' know if it's fair t' compare our situations - regarding fathers, anyway," she admits honestly with a sigh. There is one key difference between their circumstances that undoubtedly change how she deals with it. "M' papa, y'see, I know he's comin' back. Maybe not for a long time, maybe not even when 'm alive, but I know, for a fact, he will come back." There is not a world in which he doesn't exist. He is Pincher Roux, he is the demigod of rough seas, and he is the best damn captain in the world. The idolization she's always held towards him may be unhealthy, but it was something she was unlikely to ever grow out of. "M' mama, however, n' m' dad, I know they're both gone forever. So, maybe those would be more appropriate t' explain." To explain her mother would be a very emotional scene, as would her dad, but she has moved on from both of them. If she would give just the right amount of details while keeping control over herself and her emotions, then there would be no problems in her speaking of it.

"M' dad n' I were closer than m' mama n' I ever were. His name was Jacob, n' he used to lead an old group named Snowbound. M' papa n' him fell in love n' he visited often before finally movin' in, n' he taught me a lot o' things." Honestly, she would love to talk about him more, but she didn't want to bore them by getting away from the point. "Basically, he really jus'...disappeared one day, n' that was it." Goldie did appear to grow a bit upset over bringing him up, but not enough to visually express it besides a slightly down-turned mouth and less bright eyes. "For a lil' while, I'd wondered if it was 'cause o' me somehow, tryin' t' find some sorta explanation. But, I was almost a lil' relieved, too, at the time, 'cause there was this bastard blackmailin' me wit' threats. Figured he'd be safer stayin' away after all. But, it did hurt. How I got over it, 'd have t' explain m' mama's death." There really wasn't much correlation between the two of them, but she hadn't gotten over it until after her mama, so it wouldn't make much sense to just jump ahead, she believes.

"M' mama, well, she n I weren' really ever too close, even if I would've liked t' be. She was always kind t' my brother n' I but she was never 'round. I still love her, nonetheless." There was always a hidden sadness she felt towards her mama, before she even died, even if she'd never confessed it to anyone. She had always wondered why the female never was a part of their life, but she supposes it couldn't be helped now. "Her not bein' around was somethin' I'd learned t' jus'...get used to. I went t' my papa n' surrounded m'self wit' the family n' friends I could be with. But, 'd made a couple mistakes, startin' wit' that blackmailin' thing I'd brought up. I'd - now don' get me wrong: this was not a mistake - killed a Pittian member in a panic. M' mistake was willingly lettin' their ol' leader take me. I thought he was gonna kill me, n' I'd thought that'd be fair." As these words leave her mouth, she wonders subconsciously whether Stryker was even truly dead now. Jervis lied about everything else, it wouldn't be surprising if he was secretly plotting with the male or keeping him somewhere. Oh well, she supposed. More fun for her, in the end.

"He didn' do that. He kept me as 'is slave n' took m' memories. All I knew then was that I was there 'cause 'd chosen t' be, n' that I was s'posed t' die. Didn' know m' name or where I was from, or anythin' else. But, him keepin' me there made it possible for me t' be rescued." Explaining this point in her life would cause her to grow quite visibly tense, despite it being over. There is a clear bitterness still within her. "Because I was rescued, he took m' mama instead, n' publicly executed her in m' place, n' dropped her off at the gate. I blamed myself. I went back to him, demandin' that I had t' do somethin' t' fix it - that it wasn' fair. It was s'posed t' be me. But, as I was talkin' t' him, I realized that there was nothin' I could do. It wasn' fair, but there was nothin' I could do...besides jus', keep keepin' on. It was s'posed t' be me, but it wasn', so I might as well make somethin' out of it." It was supposed to be me was a thought that had plagued her mind for days, weeks, months, before even her mama had died. Those very words had described how she felt ever since that wolf had destroyed her back, telling her she had to choose between lives, throwing the image of the hanging dead eyes staring down at her. It was gone now, though. She isn't supposed to be dead now. She is supposed to stay here, as the captain.

"Folks come n' go all the time. M' goal has always, always been t' make it so m' family was always happy. Even if they're not here, thas' not gonna stop me from at the very least bein' the best for 'em." It was may be a little cheesy, but her words were genuine and voice strong. Others still believe her to be quite young, especially as a leader, but she feels she has experienced the world enough. She has always striven to be the best. That was the shortest version of it all that she could give, but it was still quite long. The female sighs silently and looks around before offering, "Ah, sorry. Would ya like anythin' t' drink? Tea? Water? Alcohol? Whatever ya want - 'cept m' apple juice." Her love for the juice still remained to adulthood. It was silly, but not something she could grow out of.