[ ooc: this is desmond roux by the way, i just changed his username because i'm an impatient bitch lmfao & 1,441 words w/o note & 1,554 w/ note ]
i was coping well, it seemed, during my time i have been spending in the typhoon, though i did stay inside more than i would like to. i enjoyed being out with my family, out on the beach, relishing the feeling of the wind as it blows through my fur, the smell of the salt from the ocean, the sound of the trees blowing in the wind, the sound of the crashing waves against the sand... it was all beautiful.

i found myself in love with nature more and more these days. maybe it was because i kept myself isolated so much, that i longed for these feelings again. taking a deep breath, i looked up at the ceiling of my hut. i was laying on top of the blankets i used to sleep upon in order not to sleep on the hard ground. i lay there, my thoughts swirling around in my mind as i pursed my lips. i needed to get out to think; not to be confined in this small area.

picking myself up, i walked over to the sugar glider's cage, opening the door to let them out. i did not believe in locking them up, yet i did so in order to keep them from running around the hut and causing a mess which i had learned from experience. holding out my paw, gookmal was the first to poke out his head, sniffing around before clambering up my arm onto my shoulder. odeng took a little longer, and i was beginning to become impatient, and i think he could sense it. he quickly climbed onto my arm and onto my other shoulder, the two chattering as i closed the cage door. looking over at my chest, i took a deep breath. should i grab something to wear? though i wanted to, as my fashion sense was screaming yes, i decided against it. there was no need for me to wear anything today.

though, my mind did travel to my sweater. where had i hid it? obviously very well, because i didn't even know where it was. sighing, i went over to my door, pushing it open and breathing in the scents of the ocean. i was instantly at ease, and a smile made its way onto my handsome features. eyes more widened, i took a step outside before pausing. where would i go first? there was so much to explore. i could go to the beach, which is where i did desire to go. my paws, however, dragged me in the direction of the jungle, in which my brow instantly furrowed. why was i going here? but it almost seemed as if i had no control over my actions. giving up, i walked faster in that direction, wondering what was awaiting me here.

biting my lip, i approached the lush forest, the humidity beginning to get to me as i padded through the green expanse. i was glad that i hadn't worn any accessories, because if i had, i would probably die from the heat. continuing on my way, i looked around, lost in my thoughts before looking forward to see that i was heading straight into a tree. hitting my head hard against the trunk, i yelped out in pain, falling back on my rump as my paw instantly went to my head. grasping it, i felt something thick and sticky attach itself to my fur. pulling my paw away, i gasped as i realized what it was. blood. i began to freak out, growing worried as i scrambled back, my head throbbing. oh, god, this was bad. i needed to go back...

how was i even bleeding? i hadn't hit my head that hard; had i? shaking my head, i stumbled for a moment before tripping over a branch, cussing out in loud korean as i fell on my paw. it was the paw i had broken from the jungle juice, and it was throbbing again. "못쓰게 만들다!" giving a staggered breath, i clambered to my paws, holding my injured one up as i struggled to stay balanced. this was a bad idea. limping forward, i listened to gookmal and odeng chirping quietly, as though worried for me. smilign softly, i paused for a second, noticing something ahead of me. was that... an outline of someone? then stopping, i awaited for them to say something, and instead got no response. hesitating, i called out, my voice shaky. "h-hello? who's there? who are you?" when i got no response again, i figured i'd give it a try in my native tongue, though i didn't think it would work. "안녕하세요? 너 누구 니? 너 여기서 뭐하고 있니?"

it was then when i got a response. 왕자님, 제 아들. 두려워 하지마. do not be afraid. stepping back in shock, i saw the outline come closer, realizing that it was a beautiful bengal feline. the figure looked just like me, but more feminine and with light in her eyes. my heterochromia eyes widened in shock, my lips curving into a large smile. it was my 엄마. reaching out for her, i cried with happiness, only to have my paws go straight through her. shock laced onto my features as i stepped back, sadness beginning to crawl onto my face. she chuckled softly, tilting her head as she looked at me. it was then when i noticed that she was almost transparent, her fur giving off a light hue.

it is good to see you again, my son. she whispered, her voice echoing in my mind. i closed my eyes softly, before reopening them to a blurry vision, tears spilling down my cheeks. "엄마, i've missed you so much. b- but i found 아빠, and he's been treating me well... but 엄마... i- i left them. my friends. and they're suffering, and hurting, and i don't know what to do..." i trailed off, a blubbering mess as she reached out her paw, dragging her paw along my cheek. i could almost feel the physical touch, though all i felt was a sheer of cold. it will be alright, don't worry. i'll always be here with you.

at these words, she began to fade away, a smile on her face as she looked at me. panic flared through me as i reached out for her again, swiping at her transparent hue as i began to sob more. "no, no, no, no, no! 엄마, don't leave me! don't go! please, don't go..." i collapsed onto the ground, my face hidden as it was instantly enveloped by the soft mush. gookmal and odeng climbed onto my head, sniffing it as i cried more, my broad shoulders sagging. i couldn't take it. there was too much here. there was too much of my past here. i had to escape it.

staggering to my feet, tears still streaming down my face, i began to run. run, run, run. i didn't look back. i didn't even notice gookmal and odeng's claws digging into my already injured head as they hung on out of fear. i couldn't be here anymore. i had to go. i had to leave.

bursting into my hut, i began to collect things that were meaningful to me, and began to pile them into my chest of clothing. i was almost done, and i was reaching for my blankets when i realized there was something off to my right. the calla lilies i had gotten from the jungle juice "experience." i almost left them, but then i remembered that there was something behind them. there had to be. taking them, i gently placed them into the chest, putting a sweater on top of it to keep it safe. and that's when it hit me. the sweater. the most important sweater. this was it. looking at the slightly torn sweater as it covered the flowers, i guess i had just forgotten about it in there. dragging my paw against it, lost in thought, i suddenly closed the lid to the chest. it was time to go.

putting gookmal and odeng on my shoulders once again, i took their cage and strapped it to the top of the chest. hopefully it wasn't too heavy, but thankfully, i didn't carry very many heavy things. making sure that the straps were tight and the cage was secure, i looked at the piece of paper i had lay down on the ground. grabbing it, i took a pen, scribbling some words down before throwing the pen across the room. dragging the chest out of my old home, i stopped to put the note up on the door. turning away, i walked away, never looking back as i trudged away, heading into a long journey of finding myself.

the note: to those whom it may concern,
i've left the typhoon. i am sorry to leave on such a short notice, but i cannot stay here any longer. too many memories of my past live in here, and i cannot face them any longer. you may call me a coward, and yes, i may be, but i cannot do this to myself. to my father and sister, goldie, i love you two very much. to the rest of my family, i love you as well. i will visit you often. but i will not be staying here any longer.
i will try to stay in contact with you.
love always,
dessie roux