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+---- Thread: take it easy [ open/joining ] (/showthread.php?tid=5646)
take it easy [ open/joining ] - adomania - 08-26-2018
[align=center][div style="borderwidth=0px; width: 55%; line-height:115%; text-align: justify;font-family: calibri;"]His name and body weren't his own, and, by extension, that meant that no matter where he traveled he could never truly connect. Some places lasted longer than others in convincing the man to stay, drawing him in and lulling him into a sense of comfort that was hard to escape. He always did, however. In the end, there was nothing left for him to stay for, as he watched people talk, laugh, cry... and forget about him as his presence became less pronounced and he withdrew for both his own and their safety. It was a never ending cycle, and whereas at first it hurt... now it only ached to leave behind places he had hoped he would grow to call home.
This time the home he was leaving behind was the Pitt, one of the few he was glad to be abandoning. It had proven to be a good hideout for him if only because he felt that he wouldn't regret killing anyone there lest he lose control. It was a constant fear of his, one that was not unbiased given just how many times before he had held innocent blood on his paws because he simply couldn't manage his own self... but among demons and murderers he could care less who he murdered in cold blood when the part of him he despised took over. It would be one less in the world, and, maybe if he was lucky, he'd be gone by the end as well, killed by those seeking revenge.
So far that hadn't happened, but Des knew better than to hope. His luck had a funny way of running out at the worst times.
And so he set out to find another home to call his own, the thought of returning to the Typhoon briefly crossing his mind but not long enough to transform it into action. He already knew he wouldn't be remembered, and the only individual he figured would be worth seeing would be Gabriel... but it was best for both of them that he was forgotten by the man as well. It would save both of them the pain when things turned to shit for him once again and he couldn't tell friend from foe.
He didn't want to be the death of one of the only people he had formed some sort of tentative bond with, but worse than that, he didn't want to see the disappointment in his face that he had seen a thousand times over on faces who had trusted him as well. There was never any anger, no sadness... just disappointment and understanding that made his insides twist and the guilt build up until it wrenched him out of his violent state, pulling him back into the presence only to drown him in the pain.
Was he so visibly broken as to warrant such an expression? Did it take nothing more than a single glance for people to realize that he was plagued by nightmares each evening, that the cigarette was a vice formed out of necessity to keep him sane, that no matter how hard he tried to keep both himself and everything else around him together it had yet to work out thus far?
For now he was calm, although the bags underneath the lion's eyes told stories that words couldn't. He hadn't slept for the past three days, long enough for hallucinations to start seeping into his vision during the day as well. For now he would ignore the need for rest until he needed it more than water, fearing what would be in his head when he closed his eyes more than what he could barely make out while they were open. The smoke in his eyes kept them open, pouring steadily out of the cigarette clenched tightly between his jaws as strong paws carried him through the land. At first glance it wouldn't seem he was exhausted beyond sanity, carrying himself as effortlessly as he ever did... but the closer one got the more it would become obvious that Des simply wasn't well. It was hidden in the nuances of his movements; the frantic way his gaze darted around, glancing at things that others didn't see; the tense strain in his muscles that made it obvious he was one step away from killing something lest he be surprised; the scars that marred his entire body, the slight limp to his walk.
He was broken... but he had a good way of pretending he was fine. It was an art he had mastered at this point, an easy grin already tugging on his lips as he paused just short of the border, waiting for someone to address him. He just hoped that his scent wouldn't put anyone off - he had tried his best to rub as much of the stench of the Pitt from off of his fur as he could, but he couldn't get rid of the smell of death and decay enough.
[ this is shitty and half assed, im sorry,,, take it before I second guess myself and delete it all //wheezes ]
Re: take it easy [ open/joining ] - SUZUME - 08-26-2018
[align=center][div style="width: 500px; text-align: justify; font-size: 9.4pt; line-height: 1.4;"]//that is not shitty at all you hush
Sparrow had few qualms about those who met his blade, be it by order of the people who saved he and his brother or those who got in his way. He couldn't claim to swing between control and chaos- his dagger-point anger thirsted to meet flesh, and he was lost to its insatiable need. There was not a moment that passed without rage and pain twisting into a destabilizing concoction, and home was far, far away, in another time, when Sparrow did not recoil from his reflection and when he had trusted his brother to take care of everything as he always had. Home died when he woke, skin burning even without the flames, and the boy he once was drowned in metal and tubes. There was no control to be had when nothing he was remained, when peace was impossible and he questioned if his existence even qualified as living.
It was best he did not see his brother like this. The people who sent him here would not have allowed anyway, but Sparrow could not trust himself not to- not to hate him, not to tear him apart. The only thing he could entrust himself with was his skill in stealing lives; beyond that, he was a ticking bomb, not to be handled by anyone, unable to defuse his own timer. Was there a person he didn't endanger by virtue of remaining?
He did not care for their lives. He didn't. He hated all of them, so soft even in their aggression because they were not remade into an abomination and expected to be grateful for it. Because they were not brought from death's door for the sole purpose of throwing others through it, and he knew it accomplished nothing to wallow in circumstances he had not chosen and could not change, but still he beat his fists against the walls, shouting himself voiceless. It was stupid. It pissed him off.
What didn't?
The stench of cigarette smoke certainly did. He hadn't minded it when he was younger, but now it felt like shards scraping the walls of his throat, his nose, and agitation came easily. So did pinpointing the cause: a lion, standing at the border, looking like shit while grinning ridiculously to himself. He clenched what was left of his jaw and leaped down from his tree, pausing only briefly as white shocks spread across his vision when prosthetic legs dug too hard. Sparrow was on the move again shortly after, straight for the lion, and the size difference would be comical if he cared. "You smell worse than your cigarette." Not that he himself smelled like a garden, with so much raw skin. "Tell me why you're here." The sword on his back quivered with Sparrow's anticipation. He did not think the lion was here to fight, but if he was, maybe Sparrow could have a challenge.
[align=right]INFORMATION
Re: take it easy [ open/joining ] - miss ririchiyo - 08-26-2018
coma baby
PERSEPHONE — FEMME — SUNHAVEN — SUNBEARER — 4 M/O
"I agree with Sparrow over there. What brings you here?" Asked the goddess-turned-child, cold blue eyes focusing on the creature before them. She didn't care for visitors or trespassers, in all honesty. She couldn't just allow herself to seem scared, but this wasn't her body. This was the body of a child, and she couldn't do anything until she got her own body back. Or an.. Older body.
So, with the tuck of her tail between her legs, a soft, faux whimper left the akita-german shepherd mix, as she lowered herself slightly to portray some sort of fear at the joiner. "You.. You look scary.."
So, with the tuck of her tail between her legs, a soft, faux whimper left the akita-german shepherd mix, as she lowered herself slightly to portray some sort of fear at the joiner. "You.. You look scary.."
WITH YOUR SICK HEAD
tags :: updated 8/18:
Re: take it easy [ open/joining ] - GORDON CIPHER. - 08-26-2018
Somebody looking scary was by no means a surprise when it came to Gordon. The she-cat was a nervous wreck and was constantly on edge, worrying about everything and everybody. So she couldn't help but agree with Persephone's words as she came over, albeit silently. Gordon tried to press herself against the other female and refused to make eye contact with the stranger at the border. The smell of cigarette smoke hit her nose, making her wrinkle it in disgust. It was... suffocating, almost, and she hated the way it smelled. But of course, the little she-cat would not comment and rather listened to everybody's words for the time being.
★ i am a lion born from things you cannot be ! ━
Re: take it easy [ open/joining ] - adomania - 08-26-2018
[align=center][div style="borderwidth=0px; width: 55%; line-height:115%; text-align: justify;font-family: calibri;"]He, too, had never had much of a choice in terms of where life took him. It had been a wild ride from start to finish, and it was only in the later parts of his life that Des managed to grasp at some semblance of control... if he could call it that. It was only occasionally that he could control himself against what others, namely his brother, thought he was meant to be. A murderer. A killer. The very chaos that the void was entitled to be. He fought against it, though, as much as he feasibly could... only to have it all fall apart when he could do little to curb the hatred that festered underneath his own skin at everything and everyone that had ever hurt him. He had killed those who deserved it, yes... but that was less than half of the faces he saw in his nightmares.
It was hard to tell friend from foe when the world had turned you into a killer.
He had seen his fair share of strange things in the clans already, from hybrids to overgrown lizards... but it was his first time looking at someone like Sparrow. He tried not to gawk, politely staring at his eyes instead, and the smile didn't slip off of his lips. His own body told of stories, each scar representing something or the other that had almost left him dead... but he seemed to have an entirely different story to tell, one that Des wasn't sure he was prepared to even begun unveiling.
If his own personality was anything to go by, he doubted he'd care much for explaining each scar to begin with.
A thoughtful hum left his jaws with the canine's words, allowing him to focus less on the injuries the man had and more on the situation at hand, and with a roll of his shoulders to ease some of the tension out Des took the stick out and killed it under his paw, respectful enough to know when to curb his own vices in the presence of others... especially children. Just because he'd get cancer didn't mean others had to. "Yeah, I know. Tried to get rid of the stench as much as I could but... it sticks to you," he replied, grin still present but quirking slightly, obviously strained despite how easy going it seemed. The smell wasn't one he'd be forgetting soon... death and destruction seemed to be second nature to those in the Pitt, and even though his other version thrived in it... now that he had regained control of his head he didn't want any part of it.
Before he could respond to the canine's question with the same words of 'Desperado, joining' that seemed to echo from him every so often, two new faces appeared, their own words echoing in his ears. He blinked at Persephone's words, quietly mulling them over before choosing to respond.
"Ah... pardon, m' not used to this body I'm afraid," he offered quietly, his grin easing into something softer as the lion shifted from side to side, trying to make himself smaller for the sake of those beneath his size. He had only recently come back as this form, formerly used to the canine body that he inhabited which didn't dwarf as many people as this one did... the scars remained despite that, though, it seemed. Not that he minded; it was a good reminder of what he had done.
"Promise I don't mean you no harm, though. I'd change back if I could but I'm afraid that body is... gone." He would not miss it much, though. It didn't have memories good enough to cling to. He was only sorry that it was far less intimidating than this one was... he didn't bother flaunting his powers around, preferring to keep any part of himself that could give rise to the demon once more under lock and key. The power rarely got to his head, though, and thankfully he felt calmer than he had merely a few days ago... but still. It would be better if he had come back as a ferret or something, where if things got out of hand all anyone else would have to do was step on him to get rid of the problem.
"Anyways... Desperado, here to join. Nothing too interesting really, sorry about that," so far no one was questioning him much, something he hadn't expected... and although it came as a relief, something inside of Des itched to explain himself, to say he had changed, moreso to convince himself than anyone else. He had claimed that more than once, however, only to relapse into something he couldn't control if he tried... just how many more times could he say the same before he never came back, and who he was meant to be according to legacy would replace who he hoped to be forever?
He suddenly itched for the cigarette again, glancing at it remorsefully where it lay pitifully on the ground, but instead of reaching for a new one he instead turned to twitching his ear almost rapid fire, hoping the stimulation would be enough for the time being until he could go somewhere private to indulge in the calming activity somewhere where he would not hurt others by it.
// heck,,, thank
Re: take it easy [ open/joining ] - GORDON CIPHER. - 08-27-2018
Luckily Desperado, as he introduced himself, thrown away the cigarette, but unfortunately that didn't ease Gordon's concerns any less. The guy just scared her, that was that, but... when wasn't that new? Eventually the newly promoted Dawnguard allowed herself to look up at Desperado, her green gaze searching him as if she was looking for something he could be hiding. Like... a knife. Or something like that. "Um... w-welcome to Sunhaven." The little she-cat squeaked out. "D-don't worry about being interesting, or-or anything like that. Um, we're really friendly!" God, that came out a lot more awkward than she wanted it to be. Gordon bit her lip, wrapping her tail around her legs as much as she could, "My-my name's Gordon Cipher. I'm-I'm a Dawnguard here."
★ i am a lion born from things you cannot be ! ━
Re: take it easy [ open/joining ] - SUZUME - 08-28-2018
[align=center][div style="width: 500px; text-align: justify; font-size: 9.4pt; line-height: 1.4;"]//this is terrible im sorry
He didn't have a destiny from birth- not like his older brother, who was intended to follow in their father's footsteps, and it was the aimlessness in life that became Sparrow's vice. He did what he wanted, had the charm and the face to go where he pleased, and so his time was divided between frivolity and training. Sparrow had been a foolish boy with no direction in life, and when everything went to shit, he found himself burdened with purpose. He couldn't say if he preferred the lack of reason- he certainly preferred his younger self's physicality, over the quilt of burns and replaced body parts he couldn't hide. If he could only have himself back, but he didn't know who that was anymore. Definitely not this wrathful, damaged husk.
Discomfort boiled in his veins as the larger creature's gaze fell on him, even as the lion kept his eyes on Sparrow's. He was torn between appreciation and loathing: the former for the lack of staring, and the latter for the fact Sparrow must have been so repulsive. He already knew as much, and his metallic claws dug into the ground, toes flexing. The canine didn't want to be here; he hadn't from the beginning, but less so now. The lion replied so easily, and what charisma Sparrow once had perished in the fire, so he was...floundering, despite his stoniness. At least the stranger wasn't entirely smooth. He might have hated him more.
His attention shifted to the child, and to Gordon, eyes narrowing. He could see the man adjust in the corner of his vision, accommodating their fear, as though he wanted to curb it. A dry, muffled snort exited the vents. "You apologize for their cowardice?" The sneer was not visible, but audible in his voice. "There are many soft-hearted fools here. Your tongue will tire apologizing to them all." Sparrow enjoyed their terror, reveled in it when they looked upon him and quivered.
The air of disdain grew as Gordon addressed "Desperado," unable to even speak without broadcasting her apprehension. The flicking of Desperado's ear was another agitation, and he found he didn't want to continue with his anger pulsing as surely as his heartbeat beneath his skin. "Enjoy their fragility." The remark resembled more of a snarl than anything else, and the canine turned, scaling the tree he'd exited and disappearing.
[align=right]INFORMATION