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+----- Thread: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU && visiting malphas. (/showthread.php?tid=4928)
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU && visiting malphas. - DELILAH. - 08-09-2018
[align=center]
DELILAH EVERGARDEN
trans femme ♥ tanglewood ♥ 15 m/o
[W]iskerDELILAH EVERGARDEN
trans femme ♥ tanglewood ♥ 15 m/o
[div style="background-color:#F0B1DB;width:90%; overflow: stretch;text-align: justify; font-size: 8pt;"] [member=37]MALPHAS[/member]
Delilah, to be honest, was a complete mess. Even though Cavalrychoir came to join Tanglewood, that still didn't fix everything. She thought that if she saw him again, touched him, she'd feel better. But that wasn't the case. She only felt worse, and the memories of her past that lingered in the shadows of her conscious now, haunted her every second of every day.
Delilah couldn't ever be alone anymore, for the fear that the voices in her head would wreak havoc on her mental health even more than they already did, still lingered. She was weak, fragile. But she couldn't fix that. She was depressed, suffering from too many things to count. She knew that she had PTSD, she knew she had Anxiety. But one would have never thought that such a pretty, kind girl would be depressed.
People usually looked at her in awe, with the cherry blossoms that constantly flowed from her pelt to mark wherever she went. She couldn't control the blossoms, and they only increased more when she was anxious. She usually woke up in a pile of them, it was truly a mess to clean by the time she had fully awoken from her unstable sleeping.
Speaking of unstable, Delilah knew that she was unstable. Malphas had offered anti-depressants, and despite how rude he was to her before she tried to drown herself, she just couldn't stop the thought process that went through her head constantly. She did something wrong? God, she could kill herself easily that night. She had a panic attack? Die. Everything seemed to be solved by death, by suicide to be exact. Maybe she could hire someone to kill her?
No, Cavalrychoir would be left alone, then. She knew how he was about her leaving him alone, leaving him behind. He sought desperately after her, his affectionate nudges merely comforting her for the times being. But he didn't love her, and if he did, she didn't deserve him. She didn't deserve love. She was a monster. She knew that. 'He' used to tell her that, he used to call her useless.
Delilah snapped out of her daze, walking close to where she knew all of the medics stayed. She didn't need to come see him at his house, did she? She was.. Scared of talking to him in his house. So many things could happen, but then again, if she died, who would care?
Signalling her arrival with a soft mew, Delilah limped her way into the room meant for the doctors and nurses. She favored her back left leg, mangled and twisted in an awkward angle. God, Cavalrychoir looked like he was about to kill someone when he saw her leg. But, as she told him once before, she was clumsy. Getting caught in that cage was her fault. But, deep down, she just wished that she could have been left there. Talia wouldn't have let that happen, though.
Delilah, to be honest, was a complete mess. Even though Cavalrychoir came to join Tanglewood, that still didn't fix everything. She thought that if she saw him again, touched him, she'd feel better. But that wasn't the case. She only felt worse, and the memories of her past that lingered in the shadows of her conscious now, haunted her every second of every day.
Delilah couldn't ever be alone anymore, for the fear that the voices in her head would wreak havoc on her mental health even more than they already did, still lingered. She was weak, fragile. But she couldn't fix that. She was depressed, suffering from too many things to count. She knew that she had PTSD, she knew she had Anxiety. But one would have never thought that such a pretty, kind girl would be depressed.
People usually looked at her in awe, with the cherry blossoms that constantly flowed from her pelt to mark wherever she went. She couldn't control the blossoms, and they only increased more when she was anxious. She usually woke up in a pile of them, it was truly a mess to clean by the time she had fully awoken from her unstable sleeping.
Speaking of unstable, Delilah knew that she was unstable. Malphas had offered anti-depressants, and despite how rude he was to her before she tried to drown herself, she just couldn't stop the thought process that went through her head constantly. She did something wrong? God, she could kill herself easily that night. She had a panic attack? Die. Everything seemed to be solved by death, by suicide to be exact. Maybe she could hire someone to kill her?
No, Cavalrychoir would be left alone, then. She knew how he was about her leaving him alone, leaving him behind. He sought desperately after her, his affectionate nudges merely comforting her for the times being. But he didn't love her, and if he did, she didn't deserve him. She didn't deserve love. She was a monster. She knew that. 'He' used to tell her that, he used to call her useless.
Delilah snapped out of her daze, walking close to where she knew all of the medics stayed. She didn't need to come see him at his house, did she? She was.. Scared of talking to him in his house. So many things could happen, but then again, if she died, who would care?
Signalling her arrival with a soft mew, Delilah limped her way into the room meant for the doctors and nurses. She favored her back left leg, mangled and twisted in an awkward angle. God, Cavalrychoir looked like he was about to kill someone when he saw her leg. But, as she told him once before, she was clumsy. Getting caught in that cage was her fault. But, deep down, she just wished that she could have been left there. Talia wouldn't have let that happen, though.
Re: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU && visiting malphas. - madster - 08-10-2018
malphas was an enigma of a person. he was crude, and clearly an asshole, but he had his moments of clarity. he and delilah weren't too different, to be honest- both suffered with their problems and weren't handling it so well. malphas was a well-known suicidal alcoholic who sometimes did things for attention or comfort- delilah was obviously a much better person than him, but post traumatic stress disorder was the great equalizer. malphas, the bratty medic, had it, and so did delilah, the innocent girl. she didn't deserve it. malphas thought he deserved his own issues.
he was quite the hypocrite. earlier that day, malphas had gotten drugs from his brother- some anti-depressants for delilah and then some weed for stocking, but he never medicated himself with anything but alcohol. what a great medic was. he couldn't even take his advice. he hummed, working in his house. unfortunately, tanglewood didn't really have a place where the medics gathered- to be honest, it was just mostly malphas doing everything. he operated out of his own house, which was in the town, but a lot of people just walked in for his assistance, which was fine. walk-ins were just as valid as appointments.
despite his personality, malphas' house was quite organized. one half was the medical bay, as he called it- a few beds were neatly lined up in a row, decorated with soft pillows and blankets. in the corner was pull-out drawers of herbs, neatly labeled. on the wall malphas had written notes to himself, herb counts, and there were even some anatomical drawings ripped out from a book taped to the wall for his reference. the whole room was illuminated with the soft yellow glow of a few candles, creating a surprisingly calm atmosphere. malphas' personal quarters were hid by a divider for the other half of the room, but there wasn't anything special about his area.
he heard deliah walk in, and he turned, having been putting the drugs he acquired into a pill bottle. without looking up from his work, he spoke. "hey, delilah," he spoke, his words soft- he was clearly tired and in pain from his alcohol withdrawls. still, despite his pain, he'd care for delilah. his patients were more important than anything else. "what can i get for you today? i, uh- got some pills, if you're interested. it's just some fluoxetine, i think-" he said, looking at the pill bottle. "or if you're more interested in organic shit, i can do that for you too. i just know a lot of my patients tend to prefer some more modern solutions."
he was quite the hypocrite. earlier that day, malphas had gotten drugs from his brother- some anti-depressants for delilah and then some weed for stocking, but he never medicated himself with anything but alcohol. what a great medic was. he couldn't even take his advice. he hummed, working in his house. unfortunately, tanglewood didn't really have a place where the medics gathered- to be honest, it was just mostly malphas doing everything. he operated out of his own house, which was in the town, but a lot of people just walked in for his assistance, which was fine. walk-ins were just as valid as appointments.
despite his personality, malphas' house was quite organized. one half was the medical bay, as he called it- a few beds were neatly lined up in a row, decorated with soft pillows and blankets. in the corner was pull-out drawers of herbs, neatly labeled. on the wall malphas had written notes to himself, herb counts, and there were even some anatomical drawings ripped out from a book taped to the wall for his reference. the whole room was illuminated with the soft yellow glow of a few candles, creating a surprisingly calm atmosphere. malphas' personal quarters were hid by a divider for the other half of the room, but there wasn't anything special about his area.
he heard deliah walk in, and he turned, having been putting the drugs he acquired into a pill bottle. without looking up from his work, he spoke. "hey, delilah," he spoke, his words soft- he was clearly tired and in pain from his alcohol withdrawls. still, despite his pain, he'd care for delilah. his patients were more important than anything else. "what can i get for you today? i, uh- got some pills, if you're interested. it's just some fluoxetine, i think-" he said, looking at the pill bottle. "or if you're more interested in organic shit, i can do that for you too. i just know a lot of my patients tend to prefer some more modern solutions."
Re: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU && visiting malphas. - DELILAH. - 08-11-2018
[align=center]
DELILAH EVERGARDEN
trans femme ♥ tanglewood ♥ 15 m/o
[W]iskerDELILAH EVERGARDEN
trans femme ♥ tanglewood ♥ 15 m/o
[div style="background-color:#F0B1DB;width:90%; overflow: stretch;text-align: justify; font-size: 8pt;"]Delilah didn't care for what methods he came up with to heal- ahem, treat- her. She just wanted to feel better, she wanted Him to feel better around her. She didn't want him to leave her, she wasn't good enough without the medicine. She had to be happy, she had to smile for him. He said he lived for her smiles, and she had to live up to those expectations. She was traumatized by the voices of her ex-lover, how she was a monster. She knew what she was. She didn't need to be told over and over again. She didn't need to suffer over it.
Delilah hadn't realized that what she called the medicine den, was actually Malphas' own home. Others often came here, so she just assumed it was a doctors office. Turns out, it somewhat was? She could see the rows of beds, and smell the strong tang of herbs and medicine in the air. It was soothing, in its own therapeutic way. But she couldn't relax here. She wasn't.. Meant to be like Abathur, a talented nurse. She wasn't worth the time to teach. She knew that.
Her thoughts were interrupted by Malphas' tone of voice, making her gaze snap back up as she walked over to him, saving him the wasted time and energy of coming over to her himself. Magenta hues flicked over the pills in the bottle he lifted up, before she sat herself down on a bed, her twisted leg hanging off of the side awkwardly. After a few moments of silence, Delilah finally spoke up, her voice cracking slightly from misuse.
"The pills are fine, Malphas.." She trailed off for a few seconds, before glancing at the bed once more, her paw brushing against the fabrics. "..Thank you." She meowed out softly, her ears twitching and swiveling back against her cranium.
He was changing, or attempting to. His speech when she had been fished out of the swamp was still stuck in her head, and she had to get used to the fact that she wasn't alone anymore. People were there for her- but were they really? What if they were just tolerating her? She wasn't.. She wasn't good at anything special other than her extremely good memory, but her clumsiness usually overrided such things. "You.. You're such a good doctor, for a kid so young.." She started off slowly, a sad look in her eyes as she glanced over his figure. She never relied on alcohol or drugs. She usually just relied on self-harm or suicide attempts. She remembered that, in the past.
Her paw slid over the rose-shaped branding on her stomach, the memories of the group that kidnapped her in the past still flicking through her brain even now. They had branded her, she belonged to them, in their eyes. They gazed at her hungrily, wanting more than she was willing to give them. But they didn't care.
"I.. Wanted to be a doctor, a while back.. Before I.. Remembered everything." She mewed, her tone broken but still holding that soft, gentle tone despite how sad she actually was about mentioning this topic.
Delilah hadn't realized that what she called the medicine den, was actually Malphas' own home. Others often came here, so she just assumed it was a doctors office. Turns out, it somewhat was? She could see the rows of beds, and smell the strong tang of herbs and medicine in the air. It was soothing, in its own therapeutic way. But she couldn't relax here. She wasn't.. Meant to be like Abathur, a talented nurse. She wasn't worth the time to teach. She knew that.
Her thoughts were interrupted by Malphas' tone of voice, making her gaze snap back up as she walked over to him, saving him the wasted time and energy of coming over to her himself. Magenta hues flicked over the pills in the bottle he lifted up, before she sat herself down on a bed, her twisted leg hanging off of the side awkwardly. After a few moments of silence, Delilah finally spoke up, her voice cracking slightly from misuse.
"The pills are fine, Malphas.." She trailed off for a few seconds, before glancing at the bed once more, her paw brushing against the fabrics. "..Thank you." She meowed out softly, her ears twitching and swiveling back against her cranium.
He was changing, or attempting to. His speech when she had been fished out of the swamp was still stuck in her head, and she had to get used to the fact that she wasn't alone anymore. People were there for her- but were they really? What if they were just tolerating her? She wasn't.. She wasn't good at anything special other than her extremely good memory, but her clumsiness usually overrided such things. "You.. You're such a good doctor, for a kid so young.." She started off slowly, a sad look in her eyes as she glanced over his figure. She never relied on alcohol or drugs. She usually just relied on self-harm or suicide attempts. She remembered that, in the past.
Her paw slid over the rose-shaped branding on her stomach, the memories of the group that kidnapped her in the past still flicking through her brain even now. They had branded her, she belonged to them, in their eyes. They gazed at her hungrily, wanting more than she was willing to give them. But they didn't care.
"I.. Wanted to be a doctor, a while back.. Before I.. Remembered everything." She mewed, her tone broken but still holding that soft, gentle tone despite how sad she actually was about mentioning this topic.
Re: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU && visiting malphas. - madster - 08-11-2018
he turned, studying her. she had said she was fine with the pills, so he moved, uncapping a sharpie and using it to write - take one at night. in his terribly sloppy- but still legible handwriting. still in possession of the bottle, he lowered his eyelids. maybe he should ask merihem for some for himself, but that would mean having to see his brother more than he had to. unlike delilah, malphas' pain was not out of remorse or the feelings he felt towards somebody else. it was his own self-loathing. he knew he was useless. he blinked, tilting his head. "alright. take one at night. the thing about anti-depressants is that this might not be right dosage, or even the right medication. let me know how it's working for you. it's a journey that you and i are both on," he chuckled, then listening to her.
the candlelight lit her pink face as she spoke, and he listened carefully. she wanted to be a doctor. malphas knew how it felt- he was motivated by somebody, somebody who was long gone, somebody who'd never see that he was a medic now. delilah complimented him on his medical abilities, noting his age. "yeah. somebody has to be reliable here." he tensed up, then continued. "listen. do what you want to do. life is so fucking short you wouldn't believe it. hell, i can't guarantee a promotion or anything cause' i'm not in cahoots with morgan, but i'll teach you some stuff if you want. it's not hard to learn. the toughest part is learning to let go."
he paused again, thinking. "you have to let go of your previous life. you get reduced to the medical man. nobody knows you outside of your medical skills. you become your job. and it's stressful. i don't even have anyone to confide to, since abathur and mira aren't around that often. if you've seen what this job does to me and still want to do something like this... by all means, i think you've got what it takes," he joked. "sorry for rambling. i've got a killer headache from booze withdrawal." he slid her the pill bottle, red eyes dull.
the candlelight lit her pink face as she spoke, and he listened carefully. she wanted to be a doctor. malphas knew how it felt- he was motivated by somebody, somebody who was long gone, somebody who'd never see that he was a medic now. delilah complimented him on his medical abilities, noting his age. "yeah. somebody has to be reliable here." he tensed up, then continued. "listen. do what you want to do. life is so fucking short you wouldn't believe it. hell, i can't guarantee a promotion or anything cause' i'm not in cahoots with morgan, but i'll teach you some stuff if you want. it's not hard to learn. the toughest part is learning to let go."
he paused again, thinking. "you have to let go of your previous life. you get reduced to the medical man. nobody knows you outside of your medical skills. you become your job. and it's stressful. i don't even have anyone to confide to, since abathur and mira aren't around that often. if you've seen what this job does to me and still want to do something like this... by all means, i think you've got what it takes," he joked. "sorry for rambling. i've got a killer headache from booze withdrawal." he slid her the pill bottle, red eyes dull.
Re: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU && visiting malphas. - DELILAH. - 08-12-2018
[align=center]
DELILAH EVERGARDEN
trans femme ♥ tanglewood ♥ 15 m/o
[W]iskerDELILAH EVERGARDEN
trans femme ♥ tanglewood ♥ 15 m/o
[div style="background-color:#F0B1DB;width:90%; overflow: stretch;text-align: justify; font-size: 8pt;"]At the instructions of taking her medicine at night, the pink feline reached forward, pulling the bottle into her paws and reaching back to place the plastic encasing in her satchel strapped around her waist, a solemn look on her face. Dark pink hues watched as Malphas spoke, the movement of his lips interesting as well as the hint of sadness in his voice. He was sorrowful about something, but Delilah just.. Didn't understand.
At his mentioning of Abathur, Delilah nodded her head in agreement. It was true, Abathur wasn't around much anymore, but she still saw him sometimes. However rarely. The feline lifted a paw up, before bringing it down gently on the bed in front of her. "Well.. Since I'm here, we might as well talk about our sorrows, yes?" Delilah meowed, her tone holding a bit of sad amusement in it. She didn't like talking about her past, but she was once told that talking about it helped one move on faster. "I don't want to be a doctor anymore, though. Maybe I'll do a few good medical deeds every once in a while, but I won't take up the rank. I want to stay by His side." She mewed, lifting her paw up to give it a good, soft lick to cleanse the mud from her pads.
"I came from a small village, pretty far from here. I lived with my ex-boyfriend, parents died soon after I was born. I uh.. Have two siblings? But they joined the ranks of the group which kidnapped and enslaved me." She explained, a laugh passing her lips in a breathy way. A breathy, tired laugh. She remembered everything, and now she had to live with it. Moving a bit, the girl brushed fur away from her stomach as she revealed the rose-shaped branding, old but still clearly visible once you shifted fur enough. "I like to call that group a mafia, but they.. Branded me and sold me off, sex trafficking, I suppose. They could never do much since I escaped eventually."
At his mentioning of Abathur, Delilah nodded her head in agreement. It was true, Abathur wasn't around much anymore, but she still saw him sometimes. However rarely. The feline lifted a paw up, before bringing it down gently on the bed in front of her. "Well.. Since I'm here, we might as well talk about our sorrows, yes?" Delilah meowed, her tone holding a bit of sad amusement in it. She didn't like talking about her past, but she was once told that talking about it helped one move on faster. "I don't want to be a doctor anymore, though. Maybe I'll do a few good medical deeds every once in a while, but I won't take up the rank. I want to stay by His side." She mewed, lifting her paw up to give it a good, soft lick to cleanse the mud from her pads.
"I came from a small village, pretty far from here. I lived with my ex-boyfriend, parents died soon after I was born. I uh.. Have two siblings? But they joined the ranks of the group which kidnapped and enslaved me." She explained, a laugh passing her lips in a breathy way. A breathy, tired laugh. She remembered everything, and now she had to live with it. Moving a bit, the girl brushed fur away from her stomach as she revealed the rose-shaped branding, old but still clearly visible once you shifted fur enough. "I like to call that group a mafia, but they.. Branded me and sold me off, sex trafficking, I suppose. They could never do much since I escaped eventually."