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+---- Thread: ☾∗ˈ‧₊° — storage / i'm the one i should love (/showthread.php?tid=4766)
☾∗ˈ‧₊° — storage / i'm the one i should love - dreamiplier - 08-07-2018
i've had many of these but i honestly want another one for all my friends & shit so we can chat & y'all can make it your storage too if you want lmao i don't mind please come in i'm v lonely
Re: ☾∗ˈ‧₊° — storage / i'm the one i should love - crownedprince - 08-07-2018
notes
• full name is desmond roux, usually goes by dessie or his old nickname of prin
• resides in the typhoon
• previously named crownedprince by his mother
• recently suffered some trauma from the jungle juice
• attacked by a feral feline while taking the juice, suffers great injuries
• currently mentally unstable from the jungle juice, recovering
• loves his looks but isn't narcissistic, just jokes around about it
• heavenly voice, but won't sing aloud because he was told his voice wasn't as good as his friends
• also will not dance in public because of being told he wasn't a good dancer either
• sometimes likes to write his own songs in his pastime
• likes to give paper hearts to other members of the typhoon, usually hides them somewhere in his clothes and gives it to them
• likes to blow kisses at people too
• his laugh is very unique; like a windshield wiper on a car or cloth on glass
• easily scared
• when angry or embarrassed, the tips of his ears turn red
• he has crooked paws, something he had since he was born
• though from korea, he can speak fluent english, though his accent is heavy
• his shoulders are very broad
• when eating, he has a habit of smelling his food before eating it
• used to be a time traveler before his powers disappeared
• doesn't remember how he got his powers, or chooses to forget
• has two sugar gliders named odeng and gookmal
Re: ☾∗ˈ‧₊° — storage / i'm the one i should love - crownedprince - 08-07-2018
notes
• his full name is goldenboy strange, though his name was also deadboy strange at one time
• will reside in the pitt
• his name was george when he was born, but he changed it when he became older because of his parents' bad reputation
• when he was sixteen months old, he was murdered in cold blood, only to come back as a hellhound ( originally a cat ) because of his immortality and being a demon
• when he came back from the dead, he was named by everyone else as "deadboy," and it was mostly just a tag for him. after finding out his murderer, he went and killed the murderer himself
• after he killed the man, he felt a thirst for blood and began to kill others ( only if necessary and not how he died ) who had done wrong
• even before he was murdered, he was a skilled thief, mostly interested in stealing gold since it was in his name. when he started murdering others, he would steal off of them normally unless what they had was of no value
• whenever he kills someone, he will carve into their skin with his claw that of a simple "g.s."; his initials
• after leaving his hometown, he went by goldenboy once again
• his name was given to him because of his golden eyes and gold specks in his fur
• smokes cigarettes to calm himself; may also drink at points
• fairly good at rapping; always praised for it
• can be seen writing songs or rapping in his spare time
• oftentimes seen sleeping or laying around if thee's nothing for him to do
• struggled with depression but overcame it
• quiet, but wouldn't be described as "shy"
• his personality is often described as "straightforward"
• really doesn't like people and tries to avoid conversing with them
• though cold and expressionless at first sight, when you get to know him better, he opens up a lot more to others and turns out to be a huge sweety
• he has a gummy smile, which he tries to hide
☾∗ˈ‧₊° —[ I'M THE ONE I SHOULD LOVE IN THIS WORLD ]
shining me, precious soul of mine — characters & moonbase alpha & jin bias
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[align=center][div style="width: 500px; height: auto; font-family: arial narrow; font-size: 9pt; color: #728FCE; line-height: 14px; text-shadow: 1px 1px #FFFFCC, 1px -1px #FFFFCC;"]shining me, precious soul of mine — [color=#2B3856][abbr=desmond roux, wren basil, goldenboy strange; 3/7 active]characters[/abbr] & moonbase alpha & jin bias[/color][/div][/align]
Re: ☾∗ˈ‧₊° — storage / i'm the one i should love - dreamiplier - 08-08-2018
mike posts because i may delete his account for now until i get the motivation to roleplay him again
joining post pt. 1:
⋆ [ ooc ] the last two paragraphs are where he officially "joins"! the tl;dr is down at the bottom c:
everything was quiet. it was as if the sound had been sucked out of the space it was in. if you heard a pin drop, you probably wouldn't even hear that. why was it so strangely quiet? well, it was the place of hawkins lab, after all. everything was strange there. stranger... things came from there. but in the midst of the quiet was a figure, someone tied to a table as if being interrogated, which he may so have happen to him. he seemed... peaceful, but struggling, if there could be such a combination. the quiet continued on for a while.
suddenly the figure was awake, his eyes darting around widely in surprise and fear mike went to go clasp at his head in pain from the impact of his head getting smashed into the rock. but when he tried to lift his arm, he couldn't, it only moved slightly. looking down at his arms in pain, his eyes widened. his arms and legs were tied down to a table. strange. he looked around quickly, but it was all the same. a gray room with a table and chair, his own table, and a large mirror thing on one of the walls. great, just great. resting his head back on the table with an annoyed sigh, he lay there for a moment, thinking. he thought of everything that had just happened; with eleven, with those lions- suddenly, something in his mind clicked for him. "holy shit." he whispered, looking down at his arms. he was a human again.
to make sure it wasn't just some stupid hallucination, he pinched himself, since his hand was close to his side. yelling out in surprise, a grin was placed on his lips. he really was human again. laughing in relief despite the situation, he turned his head to look at himself in the mirror. whelp, he looked the same really, but with a huge ass bump on his head and cuts and bruises. no big deal, right? he was fine. but he definitely looked as if he had aged. he was taller, his hair a little more curlier. otherwise, he wasn't really any different.
suddenly he heard a door open and he snapped his head over, eyeing the figure that walked in with narrow eyes. it wasn't owens; no, it was some new guy. he looked like dr. brenner in a way, but he knew it couldn't be him. the guy was dead. right? stopping to look at mike as the door closed behind him, a "pleasant" grin made its way onto the man's pale face. "michael wheeler, i pressume? thank you for, ah, joining us, though it was against your will." walking over to the table in front of where mike lay, the boy watched as the brenner look-alike seated himself, folding his hands as he looked at mike. and mike, in return, spit at the man. "you fucking bastard! i outta kill you for what you did! putting me through hell and back like that and expecting me to cooperate with you or whatever bullshit you want!" the man just sat there, calm, as mike continued. "and you hurt her! you hurt eleven. even more than you had done before." his voice broke, tired and strained as his head throbbed, screaming at him to stop. panting, the boy leaned back onto the table, a groan escaping from his lips as he closed his eyes.
"i understand you're upset, michael. and you have the right to be. but you must understand why we are doing this. it's to-""- fight the russians? yeah, i've heard that one. is that really what it's about, brenner? or are you even him?" he watched as the man locked up for a moment, a satisfied grin on his own lips as the look-alike chuckled. "my, you are a smart one, aren't you? eleven made a good choice." he winced softly at his comment, but said nothing.
brenner then stood up, walking over towards mike. pausing for a moment next to him, he leaned down by his ear, speaking in a cold tone. "i suggest you shut your mouth before things get even worse, yes?" straightening back up, the director adjusted his tie before walking around the room slowly. "however, yes, we need her to help us fight the commies. don't you want us to win the war, michael?" raising his hand as the high schooler opened his mouth, about to say something, he continued. "test subject eleven is one of our only ways of making this war stop. without her, we'd lose. you understand that, don't you?" mike grit his teeth, shaking his head violently. "no! you're hurting her, a living, real person. and you're hurting others, too. don't you understand that, brenner? you're hurting more people this way too."
the man just chuckled, his hands behind his back as he stopped in front of his desk. "would you rather save a few lives or millions?" he shut his mouth for a moment, his gaze looking down at the ground. deciding not to answer, he kept his mouth shut, looking back at brenner would such a hatred that could cut him like daggers. a pleased smile cracked onto the older man's face again as he sat back down. "yes, well then, michael, i'll answer for you. it's better to save millions of lives than just a few. and now we can do that."
picking up some remote, mike's eyes narrowed in confusion as he pointed it at the mirror, pressing a button, which then opened up to show another room. inside was someone else, tied up to a table like him. narrowing his eyes as he strained to concentrate more, his eyes widened in shock and fear and anger when he realized who it was. it was eleven, with her shaved head. she, too, was looking at him, a scream escaping her as her eyes reflected the same emotions as him."mike!"struggling in his position, the former feline yelled at brenner. "fuck! no, let her go you bastard! let her go! why are you doing this? leave her alone! leave her alone!" [i]suddenly, people in hazmat suits stormed into the room, grabbing mike as he thrashed in his position, screaming. "let her go! let eleven go! stop it!"
then one of them pulled out a shot. eyeing the needle with wide eyes, he looked over at brenner, still struggling as the man gave one single nod. "yes. give him the serum." mike then watched as the person rolled up his sleeve and stabbed the needle into his arm, pressing the serum into him. instantly, he began to feel woozy, his eyelids fluttering and his vision growing dark as he began to grow limp, his memories fading away. the last word he was able to get out was "eleven."
mike then gasped awake, his mind jumbled and scattered. what happened to him? why was he here? where was he? the male scrambled to his feet, only to fall over. was this snow? and were those- wait, what the fuck? why did he have paws? and only three of them? where was his other leg? what kind of sick, cruel joke was this? attempting to get up again, this time successfully standing, he turned around in circles until he fell on his ass. why wasn't he in hawkins? why was he a fucking cat? what the actual fuck? (wow, mike had never cussed this much in his whole life and it even shocked him despite the circumstances he was in.)
the previous human stumbled over the unknown boarder, coughing up blood. oh, god, this wasn't good. and his head hurt like hell. clasping onto the snow, he closed his eyes, his breathing labored. oh jesus, what was happening to him? unbeknownst to mike, he had forgotten everything about his previous life in the other world, only memories of hawkins and all that shit that had occurred to him there. the feline began to sob, his figure shaking as the sobs went through his body. what was this?
[ tl;dr ] mike is having some kinda flashback (though he doesn't remember it) after being captured by the bad men (found in this thread). after discovering that dr. brenner is "alive," he then engages in some arguments with him until he sees eleven was captured once again. fighting to get out of his bondage, he is then stabbed in the arm with a needle and a serum is inserted into him. this serum will erase his memories and have him where he is now.
joining post pt. 2:
i had been gone for a long, long time. who am i? well, that question was easy. i’m mike wheeler, the son to ted and karen wheeler, brother to nancy and holly wheeler. where was i from? hawkins, indiana, a small town where "you would never expect anything to happen." what had happened to me? a lot… a lot had happened to me. but i can’t remember it all… fragments are placed in my mind that i cannot place. i remember everything from hawkins. everything. but i do not remember what happened in what seemed almost like another life. what had happened to me?
the hawkins lab had captured me. they turned me into a cat. i knew that already, because i was a cat now. but what had happened before that? i had been gone from a place called “snowbound” for six months now, and my memories were starting to slowly fall into place. the experience of what happened when my memory was erased. the feeling of how happy i was to be human again. ( obviously, i had not been before that, but what had i been? ) the feeling of sadness as eleven was taken from me and hurt… i remembered all of that. but what had happened before that moment? what had happened after the year of 1984?
i tried not to bother myself too much about it, now, though it always lingered in the back of my mind. why do i remember a feeling of choice... a major one at that? that i was betraying someone i loved? it all had to mean something, right? why was one of my legs gone? what had happened to it? it couldn’t have been something with the experiment; right? why was there a large scar on my face? i had no answers to any of these questions.
all i know now is that i’m alone. everyone i knew and loved is gone.
during those six months of my disappearance, i went looking for hawkins. long story short, i never found it. i was too far away, and i didn’t even know where i was. everything had changed. so, i found myself naturally going back to what i had known for all this time. except, i did not go to snowbound, no, i had been gone for too long. i instead just went along on my own, learning to catch food for myself, and other important things i felt i should know. but i knew there was something important about today, even if it wasn’t important back in the real world of hawkins.
it was my birthday.
in the back of my mind, i remembered something about the month of september, and the day of the twenty-second, being so important to me. why was it? after a while, i began to realize that it was because it was the month of my cat body’s birth. well, not really the “birth,” but of its creation into this world. so, had i been a cat before in this world? i had come to the conclusion that, yes, i had been. but where? that was a question i could not answer.
so it was technically not my birthday. my real birthday for this body would be march twenty-second, then. my breathing became clogged in my throat at the thought, because that was will’s birthday. shaking my head, i knew i had to be positive today. i had to be positive for my friends, and to know that i would come back for them.
where was i going now? to a place called "sunhaven." why? well, because i was lonely. i needed someone, even if my antisocial more like socially awkward ass wanted to believe i didn’t. feeling the crunch of leaves underneath my paws as i walked through the mountain range near their home, i felt a heaviness upon my shoulders. i wished i could be home at this moment, like every day, but i felt like being home even more so today. i missed el, most of all, it seemed of everyone. to have her taken from me was one of the worst pains i had ever experienced, just like when she had disappeared.
my breaths becoming shaky and shallow, i approached the large wooden barricades, my sweater itchy against my skin as the heat began to get to me. why was i so nervous? i had done this before. but i had also not known what was going on, at the time. but this time i knew. swallowing my nervousness and pride, i mustered the courage to speak as i made my way towards the open spot in the "gate." "h-hello? my name is… my name is mike wheeler. i- i’m looking to stay with you, if you’re okay with that." wow, smooth, mike, smooth.
tags:
i. [ tags ]
MIKE WHEELER *:・゚✦
tags — last updated 04/23
general. name. michael "mike" wheeler nicknames. mike biological gender. cisgender male — masculine pronouns birth date. unknown / ages every twentysecond age. twelve months — mentally fourteen in human years clan. snowbound — lionheart / semi-high position & padfoot / apprentice postition
important notes. faceclaim. mike wheeler from "stranger things" / finn wolfhard voiceclaim.x, x, x
⚝ previous human / not a reincarnation
⚝ heavily based off mike wheeler from "stranger things" / is mike wheeler
⚝ can be considered by others as "rude"
⚝ had memories erased by hawkins lab for the transfer
⚝ currently coping with recent events / depressed
physical. domestic feline— main body100% health
mike is a creamy white feline with dark brown ears, which are curlier and fluffier than the rest of his pelt. though a rare sight for most felines, he has dark brown headfur, almost like human hair, curly and wild. his eyes are a dark chocolate brown, with light brown freckles scattered across his nose and cheeks. he can be seen wearing a dark blue sweatshirt, and an old digital watch on his right paw. he has very long, lanky legs, but his back right leg is missing due to being torn off by a raptor (which he does not know about). it is covered up in bandages and some stickers. he has a scar that begins over his right eye and goes down to his chest. injures. missing leg, scar over right eye, bruises and cuts
personality. estp-t. / gryffindor. / candor. / chaotic neutral.
mike can be seen as an optimist, though more recently he comes off as stand-offish and rude towards others. undoubtedly loyal and brave, however, the boy shows that he is not afraid to stand up in what he believes and will tell anyone what he thinks or what is on his mind. he's hard to crack open, but once you do, you see a kindhearted, caring friend that truly cares about your well being and will do anything for you. very emotional, he is usually open about it towards his friends, and others if necessary. he is a creative thinker and very intelligent, though he actually doesn't know it or believe it. he can also be called "oblivious," and not aware of what other people are thinking. definitely a nerd (and a geek), he loves science and video games, and is always intrigued to learn more. however, due to recent events, he's more quiet and tends to stick to himself and not talk to others often. main personality traits. loyal, rude, brave, nerd, geek, optimist, quiet disorders. none
relations. parents. ted wheeler x karen wheeler siblings. nancy wheeler & holly wheeler sexuality. heterosexual / heteromantic relationship status. taken / dating jane "eleven" hopper friends. ivylee, jacob, sugarpop, izuku, london enemies. none
interaction. physically. / mentally. medium / easy — will fight / will not kill self defense. knows little self defense — no weapon preference / known to grab random things as weapons mention [member=59]mike wheeler[/member] or [member=8]dreamiplier[/member] when attacking — attacks in underlined powers. shapeshifting & conjuration & intangibility / all undiscovered mental bond with steve harrington
[div style="border-width:0px; width: 55%; text-align: justify; margin: 0 auto; font-family: timesnewroman; line-height: 1.4; min-height:px; overflow:auto;"]
[color=#2B65EC][b]general.[/b][/color]
[color=#6495ED][b]name.[/b][/color] michael "mike" wheeler
[color=#6495ED][b]nicknames.[/b][/color] mike
[color=#6495ED][b]biological gender.[/b][/color] cisgender male
[color=#2B65EC][i]—[/i][/color] masculine pronouns
[color=#6495ED][b]birth date.[/b][/color] unknown / ages every twentysecond
[color=#6495ED][b]age.[/b][/color] twelve months
[color=#2B65EC][i]—[/i][/color] mentally fourteen in human years
[color=#6495ED][b]clan.[/b][/color] snowbound
[color=#2B65EC][i]—[/i][/color] lionheart / semi-high position & padfoot / apprentice postition
[color=#2B65EC][b]important notes.[/b][/color]
[color=#6495ED][b]faceclaim.[/b][/color] mike wheeler from "stranger things" / finn wolfhard
[color=#6495ED][b]voiceclaim.[/b][/color] [url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgS2L7WPIO4]x[/url], [url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1ZXOOLMJ8s]x[/url], [url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUXiDBSkcJ8]x[/url]
⚝ previous human / not a reincarnation
⚝ heavily based off mike wheeler from "stranger things" / is mike wheeler
⚝ can be considered by others as "rude"
⚝ had memories erased by hawkins lab for the transfer
⚝ currently coping with recent events / depressed
[color=#2B65EC][b]physical.[/b][/color]
[color=#6495ED][b]domestic feline[/b][/color] [color=#2B65EC]— main body[/color] [color=lightgreen][i]100% health[/i][/color]
mike is a creamy white feline with dark brown ears, which are curlier and fluffier than the rest of his pelt. though a rare sight for most felines, he has dark brown headfur, almost like human hair, curly and wild. his eyes are a dark chocolate brown, with light brown freckles scattered across his nose and cheeks. he can be seen wearing a dark blue sweatshirt, and an old digital watch on his right paw. he has very long, lanky legs, but his back right leg is missing due to being torn off by a raptor (which he does not know about). it is covered up in bandages and some stickers. he has a scar that begins over his right eye and goes down to his chest.
[color=#2B65EC][i]injures.[/i][/color] missing leg, scar over right eye, bruises and cuts
[color=#2B65EC][b]personality.[/b][/color]
[color=#6495ED][b]estp-t. / gryffindor. / candor. / chaotic neutral.[/b][/color]
mike can be seen as an optimist, though more recently he comes off as stand-offish and rude towards others. undoubtedly loyal and brave, however, the boy shows that he is not afraid to stand up in what he believes and will tell anyone what he thinks or what is on his mind. he's hard to crack open, but once you do, you see a kindhearted, caring friend that truly cares about your well being and will do anything for you. very emotional, he is usually open about it towards his friends, and others if necessary. he is a creative thinker and very intelligent, though he actually doesn't know it or believe it. he can also be called "oblivious," and not aware of what other people are thinking. definitely a nerd (and a geek), he loves science and video games, and is always intrigued to learn more. however, due to recent events, he's more quiet and tends to stick to himself and not talk to others often.
[color=#6495ED][b]main personality traits.[/b][/color] loyal, rude, brave, nerd, geek, optimist, quiet
[color=#2B65EC][i]disorders.[/i][/color] none
[color=#6495ED][b]relations.[/b][/color]
[color=#6495ED][b]parents.[/b][/color] ted wheeler x karen wheeler
[color=#6495ED][b]siblings.[/b][/color] nancy wheeler & holly wheeler
[color=#6495ED][b]sexuality.[/b][/color] heterosexual / heteromantic
[color=#6495ED][b]relationship status.[/b][/color] taken / dating jane "eleven" hopper
[color=#6495ED][b]friends.[/b][/color] ivylee, jacob, sugarpop, izuku, london
[color=#6495ED][b]enemies.[/b][/color] none
[color=#2B65EC][b]interaction.[/b][/color]
[color=#6495ED][b]physically. / mentally.[/b][/color] medium / easy
[color=#2B65EC][i]—[/i][/color] will fight / will not kill
[color=#6495ED][b]self defense.[/b][/color] knows little self defense
[color=#2B65EC][i]—[/i][/color] no weapon preference / known to grab random things as weapons
[color=#6495ED]mention [member=59]mike wheeler[/member] or [member=8]dreamiplier[/member] when attacking[/color]
[color=#2B65EC][i]—[/i][/color] attacks in [u]underlined[/u]
[color=#6495ED][b]powers.[/b][/color] shapeshifting & conjuration & intangibility / all undiscovered
[i]mental bond with steve harrington[/i][/div]
mike lived in a place called hawkins, indiana with a loving family and great friends. after playing "dungeons and dragons" one night, his friend, will, was "taken" by the demogorgon, and he lost the game. but then, on his way home on his bike, will ran into a mysterious monster-y figure that followed him to his house and took him. gone for a week in a place called the "upside down," mike and his friends were trying to find will one night when they ran into a girl named eleven. he took her home and let her sleep in his basement without his parents knowing. over the course of the week, it was mainly worrying about will and eleven.
but then there were the "bad men."
the bad men were a large group of the government pretending to be an energy lab, but instead they were doing some "hippy crap," and conducting experiments on eleven, who had powers. she managed to run away, and that's how she found the boys. the whole week is also formed around them, and on the final night of the demogorgon, they captured hop (the chief of police) and joyce (will's mom). in order to be able to go into the upside down and save will, hop had to make a deal with them and tell them where el was. going to hawkins school, where the kids were hiding, there's an epic "battle" of sorts, and the demogorgon comes because of it's attraction for blood. it got dr. brennor (the scientist that eleven called "papa"), and the boys ran away.
but what also happened on that final night was a kiss.
alone in the lunch room together, mike and el were sitting, when mike started talking to her about what would happen when everything was over. she would get a bed and sleep in his basement, and he clearly states that his mom would be like her new mom, and nancy like her new sister. but when asked about him being her brother, he says "what? no. no." then he finally opens up, asking her to the snowball and finally spitting it out that he had a crush on her. mike went on saying how it would be weird if they went as brother and sister, and el asked if you went with a friend. he tried to explain what a date was, or a crush, but instead just leaned in and kissed her.
then the bad men came.
mike assumed it was nancy (his older sister) and johnathan (will's older brother), but when running outside, he saw it was the bad men. running back inside, they all ran away, trying to leave but being caught in the middle of the bad men. that's where the battle happened. after running away into a classroom, dustin (one of mike's best friends) had to carry in eleven because she was so weak (and apparently finn was too weak and couldn't carry her, hA). running over to the table to where she was resting on, mike held her hand and made a promise that they'd be going to the snowball together and that everything would be just fine.
then the demogorgon broke down the door and came in.
lucas (another one of mike's best friends) tried to hit it with rocks using his wrist rocket, but eleven was the one to save the day. pinning her up against the wall with her powers, she approached it and made the most iconic scene ever, turning around to mike and saying "goodbye mike." then, she and the demogorgon disappear (though it's must more dramatic, and i cried). during that time, hop and joyce found will, and everything turned back to normal afterwards (without eleven, though, mike was pretty upset).
Re: ☾∗ˈ‧₊° — storage / i'm the one i should love - crownedprince - 08-09-2018
「 MAKE ME RUN, MAKE ME RUN MORE, LET MY FEET RIP APART WITH WOUNDS
[ ☾∗ˈ‧₊° ] [member=8]dreamiplier[/member] & the typhoon ———————— AT LEAST I CAN SMILE WHEN I SEE YOU 」
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[align=center][div style="width: 500px; height: auto; font-family: arial narrow; font-size: 9pt; color: #2B60DE; line-height: 14px; text-shadow: 1px 1px #A0CFEC, 1px -1px #A0CFEC;"][ ☾∗ˈ‧₊° ] [member=8]dreamiplier[/member] & the typhoon ———————— [b]AT LEAST I CAN SMILE WHEN I SEE [url=TAGSLINK][color=#2B60DE]YOU[/color][/url][/b] 」[/div][/align]
Re: ☾∗ˈ‧₊° — storage / i'm the one i should love - dreamiplier - 08-10-2018
whips bc just gonna put all my angsty/kinda depressing shit in here from my bts appreciation channel because i don't wanna ever lose it
THE MEANING OF BUTTERFLY: FOR ME:
uh so i came up with this last night when i was trying to sleep because, well, i just couldn't sleep, and i guess this'll be a place for bts music. now, yeah, i know some of you don't like them or prefer not to listen to them, but hear me out. i don't know what your reason is, whether it be because you don't wanna get sucked in and / or because you can't understand it i was the same way, or some other reason, you have to listen to them with the english lyrics. even then, it's still beautiful without it. the lyrics are really meaningful.
like in "butterfly," wow, those lyrics really hit me, because that's exactly how i felt as a kid and how i feel now about my brother passing away. especially since when at his funeral, there were so many butterflies, that whenever we see them, we think of him. "i still can't believe it, all of this seems like a dream. eh oh oh, don't try to disappear, yeah." when my brother was in the hospital, i couldn't believe that it had happened. it was like a dream, or more like a nightmare. i didn't want him to disappear, i didn't want him to leave me. i wanted him to be okay and to stay.
"will you stay by my side? ( will you? ) will you promise me? ( will you? ) if i let go of your hand, you'll fly away and break, i'm scared, scared, scared of that." these lyrics... they get me the most. i... relate so much to these lyrics. because he let go of my hand. and he flew away. he's gone. but i know he's in a better place. he's happy, now. he has no pain. and i know he's with me by my side, and he will always stay by my side. it's an unspoken promise.
"will you stop time? ( will you? ) if this moment passes ( if this ), as though it hadn't happened, i'm scared, scared, scared i'll lose you." i wanted time to stop. i didn't want him to leave me. i didn't want that moment to pass. i didn't want to lose my brother. but, obviously, there were other plans for that. it was his time to go.
and i've accepted that. i know i'll see him one day again in heaven, along with both my uncle pauls, my nana, my gramps, my auntie joyce... i'll see them all again.
but what i'm trying to get at is that bts is actually really helpful. i know you might not listen to them after this, but i want to tell you guys they actually helped me through a lot, even if it's been a short time. they're really caring guys. they make upbeat music, and they sometimes they make sad, depressing music. they make music from the heart.
i hope that maybe you'll give them a listen someday.
INSPIRING ME TO KEEP GOING:
ofo i listen to this on a daily basis & it gives me motivation because people say seokjin cannot sing, but he has the best voice ever & his high notes in this are amazing, & it inspires me to be like him & to keep going no matter what anyone says <33 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-9IdQ-BeZQ
THEIR HARDSHIPS:
i know i said i was going to bed, but i honestly can't sleep without getting this off my chest. i'll sleep afterwards, i promise. but the reason i was crying was because i watched the 2016 mama awards. this is the year bts won for "artist of the year." what got me the most was how emotional they all were. jungkook & suga, the two emotionally strongest of the group, were crying, suga literally sobbing his eyes out. suga, or yoongi, was told by his family he would never make it. but he kept going on nonetheless. he would sell his cds on the streets for 10 cents, barely eating food for days or weeks because music was so much more important to him. i know i say jin has been through a lot, when really, yoongi has gone through so much more. these boys have seriously transformed my life in the little time i've been listening to them. they let me know it's okay to be myself, to accept myself, to love myself. i talk about how butterfly is one of the songs i connect to the most, and that's all thanks to rm. he is a beautiful songwriter, who gets hate for no reason by fans, when he's basically the whole reason bts is together and that they've gotten so far. sure, their looks, voices, and dances have gotten them so far, but what truly matters is the lyrics. that's the most beautiful part of a song. everything else is just add ons.
i know some of you may ignore and and skip over that, and that's alright. i want to put this here for everyone, though. i want everyone to see it because i want to let you all know how loved you are, truly. at this point im just rambling, but watching that really fucked me up. once again, i hope you'll just give them a listen. even if it's one lyric, or just one song. that's all i really ask for. thanks for reading this
to give myself some closure, i guess the moral of that was that you should never give up. no matter what anyone says, keep going. ignore the people who say you can’t. ignore the people who jab at you because you’re “not good enough,” because the truth is, is that they’re jealous that they’re not as good as you. you are the best person you can be. don’t give up. be yourself. love yourself. don’t change yourself because of what others say.
i love you guys so much. <33 우의 ( that means friendship in korean )
YOU MADE IT, JIN:
i'm honestly really happy right now because jin did it. he got his solo, awake, and now he has his other solo into, epiphany. he proved to bighit that he IS bigger than they thought he was. he's gonna become so big after this, i just know it. writing this up and listening to epiphany honestly makes me cry just knowing that jin is doing so good, and proving everyone wrong. he never deserved any of that unnecessary hate, because he's just as good as the other members, if not better. i saw a reaction thing to the jintro, and they literally were so shocked and happy about it. it just makes me smile to see people love him and realize his talents like i did. and i didn't even like his looks at first ( because i think i was bombarded with too many faces at the time that looked the same to me ), but it was his voice that drew him to me. awake is the song that made me realize that this man was trying so hard. that he knew of what the haters were saying and that they were right; that he'd never fly as high as the other members. but he would still be there for the other members and support them no matter what.
but jin, you made it, hun. you finally made it!