loyalty. it was a word henri was familiar with. loyalty was important to him, although not in the traditional sense. he was not loyal to atbash, or snowbound, or any clan. he was loyal to the church and was only in snowbound to spread his gospel, after all. the church had raised him, fed him, and took care of him. he was loyal to his father, andras leonidas, the founder of the church. andras was dead now, and henri knew he'd one day meet the same fate as his own dad, for andras was loyal to belial. belial was henri's savior, the real king of hell and the prince of revolution. he symbolized freedom and loyalty to a cause that henri could understand.

loyalty meant more to henri than a simple devotion to a group of cats living in the middle of nowhere. a lot of clan members weren't willing to die for the clan, but henri was willing to lay down his life for belial or the church. in fact, he was expected to- one day, he'd get a message from belial that told him to kill himself, and henri would willingly plunge that dagger into his chest that second. he was too loyal, almost- he was loyal to somebody who didn't exist on this corporeal plane. nobody had ever met belial- he was just a figurehead, perhaps, but henri was sure he could hear him in his head. belial spoke to him, in a strange and confusing cipher, but henri could translate it. he was destined to be belial's great prophet, to be the new savior of the warring clans.

however, belial was not the only man he was loyal to. recently, henri found a new devotion- the officer in the typhoon, caesar cipher. he had no idea what he looked like but had fallen in love with him based on actions alone. he had never felt that way before and he was slightly ashamed of it, even, to be feeling this way for another male. caesar made him feel things he never felt before and henri found more passion in writing letters to him than he ever found doing work for the church. was he falling behind in his religion? was caesar his new god? he wasn't sure and he didn't like thinking about it. if prompted, henri would gladly kill atbash for caesar, so perhaps he worshiped him too. caesar painted himself as an aggressive, rude individual who cared for nothing but violence, but through their letters, henri could see the real caesar. caesar could be sweet and sensitive if he wanted to, and he felt caesar cared about him. perhaps not to the extent that henri cared about him, but he wanted caesar to feel the same way. he over-analyzed every word, every paragraph caesar wrote to him, hoping for some sort of sign that caesar loved him too. he was loyal to caesar, surely, but he wasn't exactly loyal to the typhoon. he cared little about clans themselves.

he was loyal to his religion, and to belial and his father... but more importantly, loyal to what he truly believed in, and that was caesar.

it was an awfully cold, dark night. henri, nearly thirteen months at the time, was lounging in the empty cathedral by himself. moonlight shone through the stained glass window, reflecting off of his glassy eyes. he was deep in thought. he had heard twelve people die so far- all of them hurting, bleeding out. he had heard their death rattles, their blood gushing out of their bodies... it made him excited, thinking about it. still, this pleasure was reserved for once a month, on the night of the full moon.

he looked at the celestial body in the sky, her features full. it was tonight. currently, there were sixteen members of the church of belial- one would die tonight, he knew. he tried to run all the possibilities through his head like a sick choose-your-own-adventure game. what if it was him? what if belial wanted him dead? he began to salivate at the thought- he couldn't wait until he was finally chosen to join his savior. however, he was ripped away from his interwoven threads of thought when he heard his father's clear voice ring through the still air. "it's time, henri, dear," he greeted. andras leonidas had a smooth voice like velvet, and always knew what to say. henri leaped up from the pew he had been laying down in and followed the sound of his father's voice into the garden.

it was cold, and henri began shivering. the garden was beautiful- nightshade and poppy bloomed all around them, and in the middle was a stone circle with belial's sigil carved into it. around the circle were the sixteen members, all elated at the chance. soon, andras would recieve a message from belial on who was dying tonight, and they would step into the middle and be promptly killed.

"greetings and salutations, my followers," andras spoke, not hesitating. "as you all know, belial demands a sacrifice on the full moon, once a month. this is the greatest honor a church member is given." andras stood tall and mighty, much different from the others. "tonight, the one joining belial will be..." he paused, almost for dramatic effect. "belial has asked me to take my life, so i shall do so."

he smiled, turning towards henri. "my son- will you do the honors?" he brandished the blade, stained with the blood of the previous deaths. a sudden pain coursed throughout his body- why was his dad dying? why had andras chosen the one he loved most? why couldn't it be him? "i don't want to kill you," henri protested, feeling hurt. he couldn't do it. not to his own father. he was blind, which made the deal slightly easier, but he didn't want to have to live without him. "and you want me to just- lead these people? you're the prophet, who's going to communicate with belial? you know he's never talked to me before, and i just really want you to-"

henri realized that the knife was gone, and there was a sickening squishy sound. then, he heard a thud and the sound of blood pumping onto the ground. the rest of the members murmured, confused on what to do without their leader, who had suddenly taken his life right in front of them.

andras bled out, and there was nothing henri could do. this was the worst pain of all- losing the only person he cared about. that day, henri decided that he'd avoid any more hurt- he'd follow belial blindly. after all, it's what his father would have wanted.

it had been a week since andras took his own life that fateful night. even worse, his half-sister reflet was gone, and there was nothing he could do. henri didn't exactly care about reflet, quite honestly- she was too smart for her own good, too idiotic to see that clans were corrupt and violent. so she left, presumably to join a clan. she hadn't even left her older brother a note or something. what a family, henri thought. his sister, gone, his father, dead. he was the last leonidas in the cult. he got right to leading- after all, it was what he had been trained to do his entire life. he had lived in the shadow of andras for so long, and now it was his time to shine.

"listen," henri preached to the sixteen members of the church of belial. "though andras, my father, may be dead... i feel his presence here. we must continue our recruiting." a chill passed through the air- henri couldn't see it, obviously, but a child member spoke up. "it's snowing... in the spring?" he asked, concerned. they lived in a particularly cold climate, and snow came fairly often, even in the spring, but henri ran with it. "it's a sign from belial, clearly," he spoke, not sure of what he was saying. "and... to further our recruitment process, i'm leaving tonight to go seek out a clan."

the members looked concerned. "prophet, isn't that- clans are evil!" one of them spat, and henri merely grinned. "children, children, settle down. i'm going to a clan in order to get them on our side. once they see the error of their ways... surely they'll come running to us for protection." they needed more members, desperately, and recruiting loners wasn't working so well. still, going to a clan went u against their ideology. henri presented it as a unique idea to truly capture the horror of clans by witnessing it himself, but secretly he had longed to see a world outside of this.

was he like his traitorous sister? no, he would still remain loyal to the church. that night, he set out, wading through thick snow armed with nothing but his sunglasses and his father's black scarf. it was cold, and it hurt. he began to regret going by himself, but he had to do it. he'd have more freedom that way, anyways. the members of the church were his family, of course, but they could be a bit... overbearing. too protective of him. truth be told, henri couldn't wait to die. he wondered if he'd meet his end in this chilly weather, amidst the snow. he wanted to become one with the slush and the ice. he set out for a little clan called snowbound- he had heard they were the most peaceful- perfect for his gospel, he decided. as he struggled, he lost himself in thought.

it was too cold to think, but henri persevered. he had a lot of thoughts in his head- he was full of grief for his family, no longer having a father or a sister, really, but he had to keep going. he had to keep going for the church. he'd keep going for belial. and so, the alabaster tom went on his way, beginning his long journey to snowbound.

belief. it was what motivated henri, what pushed him to do the things he did. however, his thoughts were not unique to him- most of his ideology came from his father, an older cat named andras. andras was a loner and frequently witnessed clans fighting. in fact, andras had lived in the swamp until some kid came over and took over, declaring it a clan named tanglewood. andras was his own leader, and would kneel for nobody- angrily, he formed a small gathering of loners and rogues. before all this, though, andras believed in the demon belial. belial was described as a mighty king of hell, and andras embellished a lot of his details. he came up with a tale of rebellion and revolution, to give his anti-clan bias a religious backing. to be honest, he didn't even believe much in the demon he had created, but over time, andras' mind deteriorated. he developed psychosis, and later schizophrenia, and began to clearly hear belial.

he began sacrificing the members to keep the messages coming, and every month 'belial' chose a member to die. soon, andras received the message to create a divine bloodline for himself and the church. he picked a she-cat and raped her one night, threatening her death if she did not comply. andras kept this a secret, telling the she-cat to never speak of it. the she-cat delivered, but only child survived the birth- an albino tom. andras kept the child for his own, naming him henri. henri was blind, just like him, and so he could relate to the child, although he knew blindness was a genetic defect that needed to be removed. he tried again later with yet another female, this time receiving yet only one child. he named this child reflet, and she was a back-up in case both andras and henri died. she was the second heir to the church. reflet, luckily, came out with working eyes. andras had built his lineage, and deeply indoctrinated them from birth.

he was pressed up against his blind son, speaking to him. "henri, you know what happens when you disobey me?" he asked, sweetly despite the question. henri didn't even have to think- the young child simply grinned. "eternal damnation in the deepest, darkest part of hell!" henri responded, completely okay with this. andras grinned- henri had been raised well. reflet, however, was more difficult- she was resistant to the teachings and most of the time their sessions ended with her getting hurt.

henri was the perfect heir. he was blindly loyal, and was sincerely devoted to belial. andras had perfectly ruined him. now, henri wouldn't think for himself- he had to serve belial, and andras, or else he would be punished severely like reflet was. henri was just like his father- cruel and unempathetic, a grin plastered to his face. he had one goal, and that was to convert gullible people to follow him, and then hear them die. he was perfectly wrong, just like andras. they shared the same belief.

love. it was such an unfamiliar feeling to henri. he didn't really love anything, or anybody. he didn't even really love himself. he didn't that type of feeling. the closest thing he felt to love was probably his belief in belial- he felt close to the demon, in a strange way, but didn't have strange thoughts about him. henri, on his journey, had met a particularly brutish male named caesar. he was rough and had a demanding tone, and henri enjoyed being around him. all throughout henri's life, he had been in charge. he had power and control over the church of belial, being their devoted prophet and all, and caesar was the first person to ever put him in his place, to make him feel lesser. and he loved that feeling.

at night, henri thought what life would have been like if he had just decided to join the typhoon instead. so far, he had his doubts in the gospel he was told to deliver, and was pretty sure he'd be mocked for his beliefs anyways no matter where he was. here in snowbound, he had no ties- maybe a loose one to dimitri and atbash, sure, but that was it. he had no best friends, or people that made his heart skip a beat. ugh, he hated flowery words, but he'd use them to describe his feelings for caesar. whenever he thought about him, his stomach hurt and he felt like vomiting. his head was light and his legs were weak. he hated the feeling, but after doing research that was just called... a crush. he had a crush on caesar cipher, the dangerous typhooner. it was so dirty, so wrong- he wanted to run away with an enemy clan member, start a new life with him. all after a few letters and a few visits. every time he thought of him, he just sunk deeper and deeper into his own grave.

if he had lived in the typhoon, would he get more of caesar? or was it the danger of their relationship that made it so enticing? it was a sin, a broken law, and yet they both kept going for it. henri wondered if caesar felt the feelings he did- had caesar ever fallen in love before? had caesar ever had a crush on somebody, even somebody from an enemy clan? henri hoped one day he'd see caesar and then he'd tell him he loved him. he hated confronting his own feelings, though- so many times he had written it off as a friendly, platonic bond or caesar was just bored and a little aroused. still, he felt deep down that maybe caesar desired something more, a deeper relationship. it was this thought that kept him going when his religion or his god couldn't. the thought that one day, maybe he'd have the life he wanted instead of being the unwilling pawn in someone else's plan. so perhaps he did love something- he loved caesar cipher.