Perhaps if Temulin was Catholic, she would have been a saint. Or at the very least, she would have aspired to be a saint. There are few examples of revered shamans in the practices of the Shamans of the Planes. Elders are teachers but never placed in a position above their station - the old can learn from the young just as much as the young learn from the old. To stop learning to stagnate, to hold one above others is to become less than others she was taught.

That being said, she had also been kept to a high standard throughout her life. When she was a child, she was pushed to take up arms and train to be everything her father wanted in his children. Djagatai wanted his children to be fierce raiders, skilled hunters and warriors that would strike fear into the plains. She couldn't help but feel she disappointed him in that respect, she never took to the violence like her brother did. It was perhaps why, when she showed promise with the shamanistic aspect, Djagatai never blinked. He gave her over to train as one without a second thought, although he loved her, he would not allow her to stray from that path.

She would make him proud. She would make him proud, she wanted that more than anything in the world. If her freedom, her happiness, her choice of a lover and of a life were forfeit for that, so be it. She would appease her tribe, appease her father and appease the gods. And Temulin herself, firstborn daughter of Djagatai Khan and the Shaman of her tribe - would be secondary to the needs and concerns of her people.

But nobility takes it's toll. As it always has, as it always will. There is only so much one can sacrifice before the sacrifices begin to define the person. Roles and orders and jobs can mold a person to fit them, rather than the person developing themselves and deciding what they wish and desire and want to be. Temulin was the Shaman, she was the Healer, the messenger of the Gods and enacted their wishes and wrath. She had blessed and cursed, weaving together prayers and magic as if they were one and the same, the land and the sky and the sun and the wind and the water and her in a conversation and a ballad. She would ask of the world, of nature, of forces primordial and eternal — and they would listen and grant her requests.

But not here.

Without her identity of that miracle worker, who was she? Her father was dead, her tribe was leagues across the sea and out of reach. Khasar was put to the sword because Temulin could not stay his hand from the violence that he took to so well. Her sisters had disappeared, married off to other tribes and never seen again. Her powers were gone and the Gods spoke to her not on this island. The land and the sky answered her not. The sea spoke to her in a language incomprehensible to her ears.

And yet she still prays. Incense is burned, offerings are left and she listens to the land and the sea. Again and again and again, she offers her requests for nothing more guidance from Umai, the patron of all spiritcallers. She asks for anything, a sign so small and insignificant. Just reassurance that she not fallen too far from grace. Why would the Gods allow her to be attacked and thrown out to sea like a common thief? Like a killer of kin? Not unless she had fallen from Tengri's favour. She grows old and her sight begins to fail her, her bones ache. Has Yer-Sub extinguished the spark from inside her? Umai answers her not and grants her no power to work her magic. The Earth Mother did not protect her from her attackers.

She breaks down in tears at night. She has lost track of when she arrives, but her vision blurs into nothingness and all she can smell is the heavy scent of incense. Her tears burn at her eyes and she doesn't move, clasping her paws together in front of the offering dish and recites her prayers, as shaky and uneven as her voice is. It comes out as nothing more squeaks, hushed noises and choked out words. She is sure that nobody is around to hear her so weak and helpful as she begs in her own tongue.

"Надад туслаач” гэж залбирлаа."

My child — who said you had been abandoned? Have faith, as you always have. And you shall be restored when you have carried out our work. But, you will not be alone — and you will not be unprepared.

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