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Peri's 2018 CDC Tracker - imperia - 07-15-2018
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IMPERIA ARCENEAU
For the sake of organization, each of these one-shots will be posted here. They will be written as if they were to be found in her personal journal which means the interpretations of each prompt may vary from memory, to creative writing, to academic thoughts on a certain topic. Enjoy!
Greetings, Sickness, Coverage, Beach, Dream, Shooting Star(s), Video, Hopeless, Obsession, Dream catcher, Rose(s), Thunderstorm, Revenge, Insanity, Disappear, Summer, Darkness, Winter, Dusk, Dawn, Soaring, Curiosity, Blue, Autumn, Comfort, Pictures, Crash, Rescue, Broken, Spring, Beautiful, Anger, Sweet Things, Christmas, Smells, Seven, Panic, Happiness, Wish, Rejection, Run, Love, Accessories, Heat, Laughter, Letters, Dinner, Sneeze, Idiot, Clouds, Greenery, Contagious, Purchases, Terrified, Rising Again, Hurt, Excitement, Anniversary, Hotel, Sleepy, Courage, Icing, Knives, Shock, Halloween, Strange, Leaving, Court, Strong, Horror, Lost, Food, Forget, Triangle, Memory, Blizzard, Key, Childhood, Lie, Fight, Tree, Classroom, Different, Quiet, Forever, Apologize, Heartache, Star(s), Mirror, Camera, Waiting, Never, Locked, Monster, Fire, Birthday, Dying, Stop, Peace, Perfection
Greetings, Sickness, Coverage, Beach, Dream, Shooting Star(s), Video, Hopeless, Obsession, Dream catcher, Rose(s), Thunderstorm, Revenge, Insanity, Disappear, Summer, Darkness, Winter, Dusk, Dawn, Soaring, Curiosity, Blue, Autumn, Comfort, Pictures, Crash, Rescue, Broken, Spring, Beautiful, Anger, Sweet Things, Christmas, Smells, Seven, Panic, Happiness, Wish, Rejection, Run, Love, Accessories, Heat, Laughter, Letters, Dinner, Sneeze, Idiot, Clouds, Greenery, Contagious, Purchases, Terrified, Rising Again, Hurt, Excitement, Anniversary, Hotel, Sleepy, Courage, Icing, Knives, Shock, Halloween, Strange, Leaving, Court, Strong, Horror, Lost, Food, Forget, Triangle, Memory, Blizzard, Key, Childhood, Lie, Fight, Tree, Classroom, Different, Quiet, Forever, Apologize, Heartache, Star(s), Mirror, Camera, Waiting, Never, Locked, Monster, Fire, Birthday, Dying, Stop, Peace, Perfection
© lexasperated
Re: Peri's 2018 CDC Tracker - imperia - 07-18-2018
[align=center][div style="width: 51%; text-align: justify; font-size: 10pt; letter-spacing: -1px; font-family: georgia;"]July 18 -- "Greetings"
Dear Diary,
Can I give you a name? How about...Dee? Yes. Let's start again.
Dear Dee,
It has been almost exactly two and a half weeks since I arrived here in the Ascendants. Has it only been that long? I feel like it has been ages since I left that place. Some parts of me are sad to leave it all behind, for it is a major contributor to who I am, but mostly I am relieved. All that oppression, that anger, that sadness. That place was--is--toxic or any creature to inhabit. No, I do not mean the location. I mean the people. The people are toxic and twisted. Old wounds are allowed to fester while new ones are inflicted. There is no healing, no love. And I do not just mean it in literal terms. Wounds on an emotional and mental level are the worst, because the consequences of one failing to heal that wound contains the potential to harm others, not just the individual.
But there is one person who I miss terribly. My dear, sweet mother.
Why did I have to leave her there? I regret it. I regret my moment of weakness. I allowed myself to be convinced that the only way for me to escape was to do it alone. "I am too sick." That is what she told me. And I knew. I know. Death clung to her--it was in the gauntness of her pelt and the dullness of her eyes. The stench of impending demise was enough to bring bile to the throat. Yes, maybe it was simpler to leave without having to factor her into the variables. Supporting her enough so that she could walk definitely would have been a challenge. But I am smart. Smart enough to create a wagon of some sort. Smart enough to outwit every person in that wretched place long enough to get both myself and Maman to safety. But I was scared. And foolish. I allowed Maman to convince me to abandon her instead of assisting her to freedom. What kind of person does this make me? To have abandoned the single most important creature in my life to die alone, imprisoned in a place where no one cares for the value of her life?
Everything happens for a reason. The Maker led me to this place for a purpose. There is a reason why all the hunters in the pack were gone for longer than usual, chasing a particularly elusive elk. There is a reason why it began to rain as I left, covering my tracks and muting my scent. It was the perfect day, the perfect opportunity. And yet I still struggle with the notion that if that day was so perfect, why could I not have figured out a way to make sure my mother got to experience it with me? Does this make me selfish? Am I ignoring my mother's decision to sacrifice herself in order to save me? Maybe. I can respect her decision. I might have done the same, if I were in her position. Self-sacrifice for one's offspring is a parental phenomena. But still.. I could have done something...
Something tells me that, one day, I must rid myself of this guilt for I cannot embrace my new life here until that happens. Clinging to the past is unhealthy. It holds me back.
Goodbyes are merely a transition to a new hello. Endings are not final. The chapter might be finsihed, but the story is not completed until death. And even then, one may be resurrected into a spin-off series. A new life.
So...I guess this is goodbye. Goodbye Maman. I love you so much--there are not enough words to describe the true extent of this emotion. You were the sole source of happiness in my life. You were my light in the darkness, my guide, my mentor. I promise I will make you proud. I will work hard to become the person you always told me I could be. And with that, I greet my new life. A life of love and fulfillment in a place where I am valued for more than my physical strength and my drive to kill. Hello. Bonjour. Hi.
It is scary but... I am ready.