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and he whispered fear is logical // o - radeken - 06-20-2018
It’ll make you stronger! All parts of hemlock are toxic and one of the most immediate noticeable side effects is the tremors. The vomiting usually comes soon after. The difficulty speaking and moving soon after that. Come on, when am I ever wrong? One must take extra precaution when readying it not to misplace any leaves (which can be mistaken for parsley (good for gastrointestinal difficulties, bad if mixed up with hemlock) or leave any residue on their equipment or self. The lavender and honey is so it tastes extra good. Try it! One of the drawbacks to using hemlock is the unpleasant odor. Any mixture incorporating it best have something to mask the aroma. Or maybe it would more sophisticated just to cook it into a meal. She hadn’t ever considered that then, when all meals were raw and wild and shared among the pack. No playing pretend civility, no feigned manners. The suggestion to pepper it over seared flesh or use it to garnish a finely plated cut of mutton would have taken a lot of explaining and even then she wouldn’t have understood. Because isn’t it better to be a wild creature? Isn’t it better to live the truth that howled in your veins?
The only thing howling right now was the weather. Amidst the heady summer nights and warm, lazy drizzles came, ever the wailing and crackling interruption, a full-fledged storm that bore down on the Observatory with an unmatched fury. Or, so, maybe that fury could be matched, or bested, or whatever, but it was a lot more poetic to act as though that storm on that particular evening was something special, charged with a different sort of energy altogether. Maybe it would just...help explain why she was like this. But maybe this was a long time coming. Even she knew she couldn’t outrun her own storms forever. As stupid as that sounds. Lightning cracked a hard whip overhead and Radeken pretended it was in agreement that the storm comparison was stupid. She was in her room, where the sounds of the chaos outside were muffled just enough to pass off as comfortable background noise, but there was nothing comfortable about, them, standing in a corner of her room where light just couldn’t seem to reach.
Radeken’s paws shook as they brushed against the board she used for herb preparation, cleaning it quietly. I should’ve made Bastille test this one. I should’ve made Bastille test this one. I should’ve made Bastille test this one. She really should have. It was dangerous to use herself, to be her own test run, Radeken knew this, but old habits were hard to break, and the tiny bed-hogging bastard wasn’t the only one harboring self-destructive habits around here. It was just like old times, putting her own body through whatever she thought she could take and calling that science. At any rate, she felt cheated. The high someone was supposed to get from these plants - fuck, in her state the name was escaping her, something pleasant sounding she was certain - wasn’t...well, her written source hadn’t mentioned anything about the cons like the paranoia, anxiety, painfully increased heart rate and weird burning in the stomach that she was experiencing so Radeken figured she had gotten something wrong. Not so wrong. Not like I fed myself hemlock by accident. Yeah at least the girl about to severely flip her lid because of an unknown screw-up with an untested plant hadn’t killed herself. Good to know Radeken wasn’t an entire dumbass.
Stronger, one of the things said with a mouth that wept muddy red ooze. She could smell the rot, the rainwater, the herb, sharp as it had been on that day. Vomit roiled in the pit of her throat but she kept her eyes down even when she was certain she saw something pulse under the floor. It’s a bad trip. It’s just a bad trip. Her chest felt too small for her heart, her heart felt too soft for the fear that overtook it. Radeken wasn’t used to fear and having to face it now made it exceptionally hard to breathe. I was never afraid of what I did to them. Why now? Just bad drugs. Radeken took a deep breath and let it out with a strangled sound like she expected to be able to breathe out her inebriation. It wasn’t anything profound. It wasn’t growth or a revelation. This is just bad herbs and a bad night.
Stronger, silt and pus leaked from the thing that spoke this time, sliming from the holes where it should have bore two upper cuspids. Radeken was now hyper-aware of her cabinet of curiosities (for lack of a better word). She forgot, in her addled state, to keep rationalizing, to keep being aware of how this wasn’t real, and thought that...maybe if she just gave the teeth back...
“[color=black]They’re mine, you can’t have them. Fuck off.” She snarled, kicking the board that she had been obsessively, mindlessly wiping for at least ten minutes away, stumbling, and petulantly refusing to look directly at the small ghouls. She heard flies buzzing in the room but she didn’t see any. In the time it took her to walk across it to her bed, Radeken had herself convinced that she couldn’t sleep in it. Something is in there. Something thrashed and shrieked under the sheets and if she climbed in with it, she would die. If she turned around and faced them, she would die. If things kept up like this, she would die. She could tell that the apparitions were closer now just like she could tell that the thing under her sheets had suddenly left but she still couldn’t climb into bed because she had to know where it went. For research, maybe, or because she was still scared, or fuck Radeken didn’t know, she just knew she couldn’t lay down until she knew where that thing was. I think it sees me. Is it angry? I think it is.
She was itchy, and without looking, she knew why that was. Hemlock burst in tall green shoots through her skin, dripping red and causing a rash to spread. Fur sloughed off her body in bloodied clumps like she was sick and plantlife soon took it’s place. Roots bulged under her skin and their tangles swarmed with beetles and ants that chewed and dug through her, tunneling through her tendons and muscles. She could feel her blood running dry, thickening into soil. Radeken staggered into bed shedding dirt and leaves, feeling worms grow long and writhing in her stomach. Eventually she decided that, wherever the thing was, it couldn’t get her now, not with her skin dissolving and her bones crumbling into a poison garden.
”I think she’s dying.”
“Let her. She did it to herself. To them.”
“Did what?”
“You know what. She didn’t have to to it to them.”
“You know I had to.” They didn’t hear her. She had no mouth. Fuck.
“Where will the bodies go?”
And the water flowed over her, she wasn’t a body anymore but a garden, but a forest where the rest stood and the two were buried. Many more were soon to be buried. She could feel their weight on her earth. Could wrap herself around them and hold tight and devour because wasn’t she all encompassing? Wasn’t she that fucking powerful? Wasn’t she? She knew everything, and her vines couldn’t be cut, and that forest had no path leading through it.
“The earth is empty here. There’s room.”
Radeken woke up with her fur and her sheets caked with vomit, and that was pretty annoying. Not as annoying as getting so fucked up on something she shouldn’t’ve even been testing on herself, but, whatever. She had just wanted to relax. Talk about relaxation. Radeken climbed out of the cocoon she had worked herself into, settling on the ground with legs she could barely feel. There was no storm outside, no ghosts in her corner, but the cabinet, she saw, was still opened up. Four puppy teeth sat in a bowl on the ground. So I gave them up after all. She sniffed, putting the teeth and the bowl away. She wasn’t scared anymore, wasn’t even relieved, wasn’t really anything. Comfortably numb, as it should be. Radeken pulled her dirty sheets off and tossed them into the corner where the ghosts had lurked and she left the room quiet and filthy to go look for some place to wash off and something to do so she didn’t have to think about last night. She didn’t even bother writing anything down.
[tl;dr bad trip now she’s walkin around all covered in puke bc thats how she do ig]
Re: and he whispered fear is logical // o - Character Graveyard. - 06-20-2018
SHINE ✧ Connor — The Ascendants — Fireball
Connor had managed to find his way out of the Observatory again. This time, he had found himself at the Cleric's Den, noticing a puke-covered Radeken. He would walk slowly over to the female, scrunching his nose up at the smell of puke. He would look up at her and tilt his head.
"Hi!" Connor said softly.
"Hi!" Connor said softly.
© madi
Re: and he whispered fear is logical // o - radeken - 06-21-2018
Radeken looked down at Connor with tired eyes, clearing her throat. “[color=black]Uh.” Well. Better a kid than somebody important. Radeken tilted her head in a way that mirrored the kitten. “[color=black]Hi. Don’t do drugs, little man.” She croaked, wondering if it would be, like, sacrilege to rinse off in the Starpool. Wouldn’t stop me if it was. She sniffed, still trying to work a sense of steadiness back into her feet.
“[color=black]...Did you need something, uh...child?” She had been there when the little guy was named but she could not for the life of her remember what Connor was called nor could she bother to care. He and his siblings would be child until further notice.
Re: and he whispered fear is logical // o - august basil - 06-21-2018
august's nose was wrinkled in disgust at the stench rolling off of radeken, the puke caked in the female's fur. "you look like shit," he commented, appearing nonchalant, but his eyes were narrowed as he stared at radeken. "don't do drugs, you say?" august repeated the words she'd said to the child - august not knowing who the kid was - and his lips bean curling upwards in a smirk. "speaking from experience, perhaps?" the feline twitched an ear (he didn't want to join the head-tilting bandwagon that seemed to be happening), the smirk slowly falling from his face.
"you alright, though?" he asked her, metaphorical eyebrows raising in question. he didn't seem overly concerned at all; he just didn't want to catch a bug from the other and starting vomiting, too. and the kid. it'd be pretty disgusting if radeken was carrying something contagious. even if it just made you vomit, that was still pretty damn awful, no one wanted to smell of puke.
"you alright, though?" he asked her, metaphorical eyebrows raising in question. he didn't seem overly concerned at all; he just didn't want to catch a bug from the other and starting vomiting, too. and the kid. it'd be pretty disgusting if radeken was carrying something contagious. even if it just made you vomit, that was still pretty damn awful, no one wanted to smell of puke.
[glow=black,2,300]— ✘ —[/glow]
Re: and he whispered fear is logical // o - Character Graveyard. - 06-21-2018
SHINE ✧ Connor — The Ascendants — Fireball
The child would blink as Radeken mirrored his head-tilt and he sniffed at her, despite the smell coming from the puke caked in her fur. He would then look at her and ask. "What are drugs? Do they taste good?"
Connor would then look in August's direction, upon hearing the swear that had escaped from his mouth. Shit. What did that mean? The young male would stare up at the male and he asked. "What does shit mean?"
Connor would then look in August's direction, upon hearing the swear that had escaped from his mouth. Shit. What did that mean? The young male would stare up at the male and he asked. "What does shit mean?"
© madi
Re: and he whispered fear is logical // o - august basil - 06-21-2018
ah, so this child was the inquisitive kind. sometimes they could be alright, but in most cases, those type of kids weren't the greatest to have around. august didn't cringe when the kid repeated his word - i probably should've thought before i spoke, he realized - but he knew that others probably wouldn't be very pleased with the new additions to connor's vocabulary.
"'shit' is a grown-up word," he decided to say, glancing down at connor sharply. august couldn't remember when he'd first heard a swear, he hadn't been that young. he guessed that, being an angel, most people hadn't sworn. maybe he'd taken a liking to it upon coming to earth, where he could do practically anything he wanted to. "don't say it." everyone knew that the kid probably wouldn't listen, but hey, august tried. with the drugs, well, radeken said it first. she could explain most of that, right? "drugs taste awful." he decided to supply. maybe that would turn connor away from ever speaking of them again, at least for a while. august looked back up, expectantly staring at radeken.
"'shit' is a grown-up word," he decided to say, glancing down at connor sharply. august couldn't remember when he'd first heard a swear, he hadn't been that young. he guessed that, being an angel, most people hadn't sworn. maybe he'd taken a liking to it upon coming to earth, where he could do practically anything he wanted to. "don't say it." everyone knew that the kid probably wouldn't listen, but hey, august tried. with the drugs, well, radeken said it first. she could explain most of that, right? "drugs taste awful." he decided to supply. maybe that would turn connor away from ever speaking of them again, at least for a while. august looked back up, expectantly staring at radeken.
[glow=black,2,300]— ✘ —[/glow]
Re: and he whispered fear is logical // o - Margaery - 06-22-2018
[color=#b14767] ❁ ❁ ❁
[color=#b14767]”Excuse me? What did you just teach my son?”
Margaery, who had initially been lulled out of the shadows by the smell of puke and Rad’s appearance, turned a steely gaze to August. Obvious discontent embraced her chocolate features: lips twisting into a deep frown and eyes narrowing ever so slightly. She was not a happy mother and would make that known as loudly as possible, long legs carrying her forward so that she stood protectively besides Connor. [color=#b14767]”Don’t say that again, sweet boy. Not until you’re older,” She cooed quietly to him.
A now-concerned stare would fall upon Radeken in that moment, her expression softening significantly. [color=#b14767]”Do you need anything, love? Water? A towel, maybe?” She really couldn’t say much- Margaery wasn’t in the position to lecture anyone on drug usage. The euphoric high she gained from drinking blood was similar to ones that drugs could offer and she’d be a hypocrite to scold Radeken for her choices. Kindness had to prevail in this situation, especially given how rough the Halo appeared.
/mobile yeet
Margaery, who had initially been lulled out of the shadows by the smell of puke and Rad’s appearance, turned a steely gaze to August. Obvious discontent embraced her chocolate features: lips twisting into a deep frown and eyes narrowing ever so slightly. She was not a happy mother and would make that known as loudly as possible, long legs carrying her forward so that she stood protectively besides Connor. [color=#b14767]”Don’t say that again, sweet boy. Not until you’re older,” She cooed quietly to him.
A now-concerned stare would fall upon Radeken in that moment, her expression softening significantly. [color=#b14767]”Do you need anything, love? Water? A towel, maybe?” She really couldn’t say much- Margaery wasn’t in the position to lecture anyone on drug usage. The euphoric high she gained from drinking blood was similar to ones that drugs could offer and she’d be a hypocrite to scold Radeken for her choices. Kindness had to prevail in this situation, especially given how rough the Halo appeared.
/mobile yeet