When love walks // private // in our dreams

WHAT A PRIVILEGE IT IS TO LOVE — Jacob barely slept these days. Well, unless he was with Pincher. He found great comfort in the doberman's company and he only seemed to get fully rested in his presence. Pincher wasn't here, though, and he found his mind wandering aimlessly. He thought of how things had been not too long ago. It felt like a whole lifetime had passed, between moving away from his Babbo and to the city where he'd met his Ma and Pa and then, when the fire had happened, when he ran to Snowbound to hide from the people that sought to harm both him and Jersey. They'd been safe for a long time here now. There'd been a few glitches along the way, of course, but nothing he hadn't been able to handle. He'd tried to stay in the city for awhile after that but after the death of his Ma, it'd been too risky for too little to gain.

He still wore all his bandages. That brought a bit of shame to his mind. These hadn't been meant as a permanent fixture on him, only something his Ma had temporarily made to cover his scars while they were healing. He never took them off in public, though, and only took them off in private when he absolutely had to. He hadn't looked into a mirror with them exposed in a long time because he could barely stand the sight of himself. Pincher didn't mind though. That was the first thing he'd noticed about the other canine. He'd found Jacob in his most vulnerable state, after he was having vivid hallucinations and when his bandages and sweater had been forced off him. There was never a time where the man looked disgusted with him or upset. He just took care of him, like that was the natural thing to do in such a situation and, because of that little kindness, Jacob had first become enamored with him. He wouldn't always admit it, and he was sure he'd never actually say it, but he was quite taken to the pirate captain. At least he could be honest with himself in these little moments.

He wasn't sure how, but eventually he fell asleep. His mind still felt awake, though, buzzing with activity after his eyes closed and his body relaxed. He opened his eyes but he wasn't in the little cavern he called home anymore. Instead, a vast white plain stretched out before him and he could see a figure in the distance. He pushed himself to his paws, wincing slightly at his stiff legs, and moved forward calling, "Hello? 'S someone there?" —A GREAT HONOR TO HOLD YOU UP

"SPEECH"

//Main cause.. whoops (and also a super lazy template forgive me)

In some ways, Lottie knew she was dead. Of course she was. Her lingering spirit of a form was hardly anything more than a figment of someone's imagination. Perhaps, in some cases, that's all she was now- a figment, a lingering thought in someone's mind that held just enough power to make it seem real. Is that what they all wanted? For her to be back, to be real again? So desperately that they conjured her up in their minds to comfort them when they needed her? Under some false belief that she had abandoned them because she was dead? She wouldn't deny, if she could still deny such a thing, that her last few months in the living world were a glorious thing. She was a woman who had been broken. A once proud, quiet, and gentle healer thrown into the depths of utter madness. Her children, slaughtered in front of her eyes. Her family, busy with their own lives, so she had covered it all up. Oh, she had seen the signs and symptoms enough. She knew how to keep it under wraps. Perhaps, just perhaps, they realized something was wrong. Maybe they thought it wasn't as bad as it truly was.

In the end, she had paid for it with her life. Her children. Her husband.

And yet the world kept on turning; kept on living as if it were a living taunt. Jakey, so strong now; Peirce, a father of his own. Jersey- well, he was still Jersey, but even she regarded him fondly. But Jakey. Her trainee, the young boy that had gotten a terrible lot in life. It had been her one goal in all that time to make him happy, to make him proud of himself, to be strong- to not care about what he looked like or what he could do, so long as he was proud of who he was. Had she succeeded? Sometimes, it seemed as if she hadn't. Maybe, in her life, she still believed that.

A blink. A shift of a movement. It was hard to explain what she was anymore. A lingering spirit, yet faint, and disoriented in some ways, as if half of her were missing, a bright light once dimmed and flickering in and out of existence. A snow leopard, with gentle, adoring gray eyes. A smile seemed to have an aura of warmth all of its own. A voice, gentle and like a breeze on the wind, softly forming syllables to some of her favorite songs. "À la claire fontaine....M'en allant promener; J'ai trouvé l'eau si belle...Que je m'y suis baigné...Il y a longtemps que je t'aime. Jamais je ne t'oublierai."

Someone there?

The voice, little and stuttering was one that this creature knew fondly. As he moved forward, so did she, her paws carrying her the rest of the distance towards him until she was sat in front of him, her voice softening as she repeated the previous line of the song, softly in the language that Jake knew, "It's so long I've been loving you, That I'll never forget you." 'Lottie' smiled, a gentle laugh echoing on the breeze as her smile lit up the corners of her eyes. "Hi, Jakey... I've missed you."

//song ref : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hF8DBnAMcio