graphic gore ★ genderfluid ★ 3-eyed crow

“IT’S TIME FOR THE MONTHLY INFODUMP!”

The crow perched on the throne atop the staircase to nowhere. The obsidian stones beneath the throne gleamed in the harsh sunlight, dazzling the eyes, and Vale liked the spectacle. Especially since this black pyramid was traditionally the ardent’s, and Vale had ended that stupidly selfish legacy verself. Who wanted a leader who acted like a parasite, leeching resources from the rest of the group? Not Vale, because Vale (despite having a funny way of showing it) cared about the Pitt as a whole and as individuals.

“SHIT HAS BEEN HAPPENING! For those of you sleeping under a rock, we’ve been hit with a minor heatwave; it hit during the monthly neutral meeting, and then we had that whole awfully hot evening last night. Seems to have passed this morning, but I want y’all to make sure you stay hydrated for the rest of the summer.”

Looking for Brymstone in the crowd, Vale would point a wing at the bonehead if ve saw them. “We have Brymstone to thank for excess water, taken from Tanglewoods! But those assholes kicked him out, so, eh, whatever. Just glad we got enough water and stuff for the summer, especially during that heatwave, eh?”

When Vale’s three eyes looked at the crowd—well, the crowd of those who bothered to show up for meetings, since not everyone did—Vale saw the future. Not necessarily Vale’s future (nothing but gore and misery there), but the Pitt’s. While the Pitt would be a blip in Vale’s cursed immortal existence, Vale would always remember these weirdos, and Vale hoped ve would leave a smidge of vis mark upon the group as a whole.

“Aight, first up! Welcome to Marcellus, Aegon, Brymstone, and Renlys. All of you guys made a spectacular first impression, so I hope y’all stick around! Complete the blooding ritual to show the Pitt your loyalty and ferocity. We’re rooting for ya!” Vale looked for the four mentioned in the crowd and nodded to any who bothered to show. “Also! Shoutout to Beezlebub and Aegon, but a reminder to both of you to head out to the desert for your blooding! If you need help, lemme or Jor know, we’ll give you some pointers.”

“Also, wow, Renlys completed his blooding, whoot-whoot! Jor, you’ve been around for a while and always had my back, my friend, so I’m keeping an eye on you for marauder. Just don’t pull some more shit like that Tanglewoods child fiasco. Woulda promoted you up, if not for you choosing to attack one of our own for a chickenhead child.”

“F-Y-I!” Vale jumped in place, fluttering vis wings, and cawed wordlessly.  “I can’t promote anyone who hasn’t done the blooding, sorry, but you gotta prove yourself before getting bumped up to skald. Likewise, the unblooded can’t challenge others for their s/hp ranks! Because, duh, if you’re unproven, then you ain’t got what it takes to lead those who are.”

Vale nodded to verself, mentally ticking the boxes in the checklist, ensuring nothing more needed to be announced, because holy fuck was it easier to monologue once instead of twice. “Meeting dismissed! If you got any questions for me, ask me now! Or toss me your event ideas for the month! Really, this is your time to speak up.”

tl;dr:
- Warm welcome to [member=18830]M. FAMINE[/member] , [member=18214]AEGON[/member] , Brymstone, and [member=23135]Renlys[/member] .
- Ah, shit, there’s a heatwave in town, who invited this bitch?
- Brymstone took over Tanglewoods! But, oh shit, Tanglewoods has had enough.
- Renlys is on a roll after completing his blooding!
- Beezlebub, Aegon, and Jor get shoutouts! Whoot, whoot, good job [member=18691]BEE + JOT[/member] and Orion and [member=16091]Windowmemer[/member] !
- Notice! If your character doesn’t complete the blooding, they are not eligible for promotions! Nor for challenging other s/hps for their ranks!

OOC NOTE: Staff is hosting a Monthly Prompt Challenge for July! Throw some prompt-inspired posts (hint, hint, the heatwave thread) and receive some gems. The group with the most points wins a reward, so let’s go for it!