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+---- Thread: heaven's cruel ☾ reintro (/showthread.php?tid=14846)
heaven's cruel ☾ reintro - harland m. - 05-21-2021
[align=center][div style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 8pt; max-width: 65%; text-align: justify; line-height:120%"][ pre-raid ]
A fragment of the past. History recalled only for it adorned poorly mended flesh, woven in imperfection, traced jagged passages mapped out across still mind, occupied too grand a segment. And yet, propelled through unconscious thought, each renewed. Breath slow, stagnant, the next shallow, ashen against tongue.
Too long alone, solitude assured. Understood as fact, known how mind slowly broke, fine those spiderweb cracks awaiting only a little pressure. Better, acceptable loss. Rebellion bloomed, thorn laden growth, another among the tangle. Always stacked the positives — his heart held, cradled in stone that might not break, never given out again to harbour only more agony upon return — and opposing cons — there was nothing but his thoughts, misgiving and doubt creeping in, weeds choking all else out — against one another.
Must be this way, never was he one for life, subjected to death when the honeysuckle dew of sweet innocence was still strong, blind eyes viewing all in a rosen sheen. Fine the grating sound, drag eliciting a pitiful whine, his voice choked, addition swallowed. Again. Paw repositioned, dragged against weathered and seared planks. None looking, none cared, proven correct. Falsehood in and of itself, movement untraced, always his own the paths walked. Some cared, a select few, distant their faces in the turbulent waves of broken thought.
Anchor. The stone to which his noose was tied, caught in perpetual conflict, ever encapsulated by a choice. Accept the sanctuary of redeemed harbour or allow the rope to fray, the waves callous and hungry, ever present, crooning in a sweet murmur. Heard still at this distance, dense the trees clustered about, pressing against the scorched ring surrounding struck brethren. Alike, supposedly adrift without company even as it pressed forth, hammered against a barrier without substance. Misgiving found in misunderstanding.
Never changing, stagnant, the little boy who wept until salt mingled with copper, swallowed the truth and spat back lies. They could not be right, he could not stomach it, poor the picture painted if they were.
Stilled the next, tongue caught as lungs halted, expanded in chest engulfed, heat without flame struck. A coward born thus always would he be. Minute space permitted breath to escape, low the whistle, that gentle hum, involuntary draw back. Eyes squinting shut, thoughts stalling, landing upon a quiet desire, a simple notion among the white noise. He wanted to be free. Jaw trembled, opened in soundless protest, head shaking, claws raking blackened wood once more. Unacceptable. But to whom, what presence beyond him enacted a will across his tender heart that dictated this his life, pitiful existence without reason, better snuffed out for another to take his place.
"No." Harsh rasp, dry, devolving into broken fit, each cough a jagged blade lined with rust trailing along his throat. He did not want such, found no longing for the hollow darkness, that proposed lack upon the other side. The choice his own, no other here, cautionary sweep enough to firmly establish such as a facet of reality. His own the counter, the contradiction that whispered sweet temptations, a way out presented in a manner that tightened a fist about his heart.
Only his decree may tip the scale. What way will you go, the temptation of ease wrapped in tightened silk while the harsh notion of continuation was steel hiding something more.
Beneath gathered limbs that seemed almost delicate branches extending from barely present physique, the meagre reduced further. Tremor wracked, muscles taunt, everything taken by agony, teeth closed even as jaw wished to take up the quaking. Too long wasted on rising, triumph a bitter sweetness for the road ahead lay open, beckoned with a desire to take the last of him, what remnants still remained. Forth paw sliding along wood, splinters felt and disregarded, focus solely settled on his progress. Slow, too much so, agonisingly languid, the outer world beckoning, a mere entryway for the frame had been emptied, firewood made the door once snug.
Bright, too much so. Distance dwindling in a frame of time unperceived, short and yet long, both and neither in the same instance, illumination casting a golden sheen against all. Beneath green is vibrant, stark the darkness, ash and remains clustered thick, an imperfect border about destruction. Momentarily stilled, into the light blinking, frantic in the wish to be rid of the bright spots painting golden vision. Always new ones appeared as the old dyed, annoyance odd in the comfort it smothered frayed nerves with, nose wrinkling, a snort escaping. Unfamiliar the noise, startled, jump minute. Light the wash of embarrassment even as none proved present to stand as witness, testify to his needless fear of his own vocalisation, enough his own realisation he acted as origin.
A choice left, a decision his own, no other to make it, point out the direction best fitting for one such as he. Onward pressed, alone even as noise seeped through, announced life was here even as he felt devoid of it. The warmth nothing, striped back into a gentle dapple as canopy enveloped, a twisted crown that bore no end. All must end, to begin was to accept, unconsciously and thus without the worry of the slow progress towards the inevitable or with a present knowledge that verged upon a nauseating ever presence, a fact. And this, too, must find a conclusion.
That it found he was unprepared for, knew not what lay beyond the thick cluster of foliage, knew only the world was not stagnant. Movement, commotion, voices raised in steady communication. The strings lost, however, slipping between grasping fingers, confusion settling. Desire to retreat grew, lodged in tightened throat, wished to stop each harsh breath. No more could he turn back than may he proceed, tired limbs folding, barely caught to arrange himself in a slouched sitting position. None paid him mind, focus on other things, snippets caught and disregarded. Names thrown about, people for the most part, among nestled one that seized his heart.
"Danny…" Miniscule shift, strained his name crowning cracked lips, the true tragedy wrapped in the unknown. His mind took that hint and ran with it, however, cared not for the reality that may be present, each scenario spun, one after the one, worsening as he watched the frantic motion of preparation.