DEAR FRIEND as you know,  your flowers are withering
your mother's gone insane, your leaves have drifted away.
    but the clouds are clearing up
        and i've come reveling, burning incandescently,
                                              like a bastard on the burning sea.

YOU'RE JUST LIKE YOUR FATHER,
BURIED DEEP UNDER THE WATER.

*continuation of this thread, tldr at end

The day had been going relatively normal. Better than the past few, in comparison, due to the fact she was able to spend it with a feline in which she'd become quite fond of. They'd decided to pass time on the beach, building sandcastles together, when the feline had to leave for a moment. And then they were, oh so rudely, interrupted.

Why, when she could not even remember how, why it occurred, did she feel the pain? How did she make it go away? How can she learn to be strong once more? How could she have ever handled it before? Had it always been this bad?

Now, the scent of Coalition had filled the air, trail leading away from the territory, and the fallen captain lays in the sand, shaking and useless against such a threat she'd once thought was bound to be a weekly occurrence given her position, her family, her history. The idea of it all ending, of death, it hadn't quite hit the female until just now. Of how close she'd been to it, of how close she could be to it, in a split second. To the one who'd once believed such a thing would simply be an inconvenience, she now lay unable to move by the mere thought of it. Her breaths struggled, a panicked expression clear on her features.

And suddenly it was as if the sand around her had turned to something much hotter, something much more foreign, the sound of a snake calling out to her but the words could not be truly heard. And she'd been through all of this before. But it was different now. They were unreachable, incapable of ever being returned to their true form in her mind, at least how it seemed. Now she was stuck, hollow, hot, and hurt, never to be the Goldie they'd wanted her to be. Never to be the one that'd maybe understand why this was happening, to figure out how she could be useful, to be the mother, to be the daughter, the cousin, friend, leader, they'd all known. Instead she uses their supplies, uses their time, wastes their energy, causes their worry, and even when she's not doing anything wrong, something seeks her out when she's incapable of defending herself. And all she can do is lay here, in the sand, useless, and struggle.

She was lucky Sophiea had arrived when she had - so quickly, after the initial attack by Ninazu. Her scratches and cuts were not serious, nothing deep, but it would have been so easy, too easy to kill the pirate princess in that moment, cut the string once and for all. And she could have left before anyone would have noticed, hardly wasting any energy in the event. And that would have been it. She had no attempts to save herself, to even quite realize what was happening. It was all too little, too late, from her mind, and now it was settling in that she would have died, and there was no if's, and's, or but's about it - she would have died.

And she can feel tears begin to spill over, her vision blurring in and out, body trembling in a newfound realization, in a fear. The sparks from her head spill out, shocked the area around her, causing the sand to shoot out around her. Her head swirls, pulsating from the emotion. A soft voice calls out for her, familiar, and safe, but she cannot make out the words. The feline approaches hurriedly, after having chased off Ninazu. And she lays there, shaking, hardly able to even realize it.

*tldr: [color=#deab3c][member=16079]S. PENDRAGON[/member] and goldie were enjoying some time on the beach together when sophiea had to leave for a few moments. while goldie waits alone, ninazu from coalition of the condemned takes the opportunity to lunge at goldie, with plans of killing her. fortunately, sophiea managed to make it back in time to chase off ninazu. goldie only has a few cuts, but is laying on the beach now panicking as sophiea runs back to her.

DEAR FRIEND as you know,  your flowers are withering
your mother's gone insane, your leaves have drifted away.
    but the clouds are clearing up
        and i've come reveling, burning incandescently,
                                              like a bastard on the burning sea.

YOU'RE JUST LIKE YOUR FATHER,
BURIED DEEP UNDER THE WATER.

Conflicting emotions would swirl as Sophiea made her way back to the tigress, her terrified, distant gaze closing in and now growing thick with worry a quiet desperation to know that, for certain, the other was not harmed. This was her fault. She wasn't quite sure why or how, but she knows that this was her fault. She should have done something, should have retaliated in some way, shouldn't be just lying here, useless. But the more she thinks of it the more her head begins to hurt, and the more her head begins to hurt the worse everything else gets. Her shaking paw reaches out as the feline closes in on her, trying to gently grab hold of her, anywhere on her body she could. She wanted to know the other was okay.

As the other continued, the female's eyes would close in full, letting the words sink in. She tries her hardest to stabilize her breaths, bring herself back to the ground. Though still it spins, dizziness attempting to claim hold of her. Finally, after several harsh breaths, she's able to shift more, body moving, paws curling around the feline as she spoke. Still it shivers, struggles to calm, but there is a warmth in her senses, something safe and close up to her body. The tigress wishes to speak, to call out to her, ask her why, apologize for being so useless, but she is incapable of moving her tongue, getting the control to utter any of it. Perhaps if she allowed herself to float away, she could stop thinking of it, she could breathe, but she didn't dare let go. She has been on the ground the whole time, and this is what it offered her.

Another comes in and she feels her body tensing further until she hears the voice's holder to be Roan, shaky breaths letting out a sigh. She had killed the man who'd been causing all of the problems, just before she'd fallen unconscious, so why did she feel as if she'd done something wrong? This shouldn't have happened, should it have? She thought it was safe now. But, she'd known better than that. There'd been trouble ever since she woke up, whether it be someone hurting themselves by accident or a trespasser, it'd never been entirely secure. Had that all been her fault? Had she overlooked something, left unfinished business? Had she doomed her crew, before she'd fallen from her position? The thought terrifies her. What if they were all cleaning up after her mistakes? If she couldn't even recall what had happened, why does she have to feel the pain?

What did they want with Goldenluxury? That was the question that she just had answered for her, plain and simple. They wanted her dead. Who'd done this to her, it was the woman, their leader. She couldn't recall her name. Finally, she begins to muster up the strength to speak.

"Sh-...She wan-wanted t' kill..." she manages out, teeth gritting as she struggles to make the words form. "I'm ss-sorry." She whispers it, for Sophiea, for her sacrifice to the other, for her inability to help, for her pathetic reaction, for her lost memories, for not being Goldenluxury Roux.