He had lost his way, he realized. His mothers death, both of them- he remembered that, remembering the way his mothers disappeared to live with each other. They had left their children behind, leaving Oni to protect his siblings, or just.. to attempt to.

He had failed at that, too. Diya.. He remembered her face, her little smile. She looked up to him, and Oni felt his breath was taken right from his body. She was everything he wasn't. A bright child, someone whom knew what fun was, wasn't so headstrong and paranoid like Oni was.

He remembered losing his friends one by one, being dragged into a pond to never breathe again.

Until one day, he did.

It seemed the ocean had rejected him, the felidae laying on the soaked ground- smelling faintly of sea water. He remembered, vaguely, the shapes of creatures surrounding him. His soaked form held all of his previous belongings, the choker he wore bearing the shiny orbs that the Ascendants once called badges of achievement. The feathers attached so firmly to his ear, a symbol of something he couldn't quite remember.

Maybe this is where he would end, finally. No longer floating in limbo, where he wouldn't remember anything. But then again, his kind was cursed with long lives- whatever deity that had taken him was obviously one whom liked to hoard live bodies.

A sharp cough, water spitting up from his throat- vision blurry, Oni felt himself fade in and out consciousness.

He missed his family, but the man wouldn't admit such things aloud. They were somewhere. If he was here, then his mothers had to be, too. They didn't die. They didn't.

Maybe that was his naivety.

all you give me is a heartbeat —

Memories were awful to Oni. Powerful flickers of painful memories, the sight of his mother walking into the sea to never return- the memories flickered past his dark blue eyes. The faint call of his sister's voice pulled him to the surface, grounding him.

Pain was a melody, a rancid song that hit all he wrong chords- a painful thing, really.

The rasps of a barbed tongue helped breathe air back into the smaller body, the male so fragile- he always had been fragile. Weak lungs in his felidae body, so desperate for a chance to be something. So much anger in such a small body, self-hatred bubbling over until it spilled over. Self confidence wasn't a thing for Oni, and maybe that was why he had been dragged down into the water.

Those deities so hungry for a weakness, for a desperate soul.

It's time to wake up, little one.

Margaery, his mother's voice, sang into his head- right when water was spilt past the males lips and he had awoken with a start. Water vomited past copper lips, soaked feathers trembling behind his ear. That's right.. Those feathers were given to him by his mothers. A gift, before they passed.

Blurry vision cleared soon, legs twitching as a breath was wheezed into his chest. Oni startled, lungs wheezing for air in choking breaths. He thought he was hallucinating. No, Diya was gone.. He remembered her being gone.. She was gone, wasn't she?

"Di?" Oni choked out softly, voice deeper than what it looked like it would be. Ribs shifted under thin fur, obviously lacking proper nutrition. How long had he been under? How long had the deities held him hostage? This has to be some type of dream. "Diya? Please, Gods.. Don't trick me like this. Not with her. Please tell me it's you, Diya." Oni croaked out, a small paw coming up to reach for the woman's cheek. Pain. His heart ached.

She was solid. This wasn't a dream.

"Jesus, you've gotten so big, Di.."

all you give me is a heartbeat —