[shadow=darkblue,right]KILLUA[/shadow]

Fear had never been an emotion that he knew when he was younger. There was no reason for him to feel fear, and instead he usually felt pain and anguish for the torture sessions that he had constantly had to go through over and over again. He didn't have any fear of dying, because he had faith in his brother that the tiger wouldn't end up killing him because he was too important for the rest of the family. That had to be true right? Well at least so far he was right about his brother in more than one regard considering everything. The young assassin had been brought up thinking that he was the strongest and would forever remain the strongest when it came to the opponents that he had made his way toward. That there was no stopping him once he set his sights on someone and to rip through them like they were nothing. It was only until Killua had decided that he was going to leave the mansion that he had grown up in that he realized what true fear was. He didn't have a fear that his family would hate him and suddenly disown him for his actions. He didn't have the fear that he was going to have to deal with angry parents if he ever did decide to return back to that toxic place. No. Instead, he had the fear of who they would send out after him. After all, he was precious to them, the toy that they didn't want anyone else to break, and it was annoying. No. It was absolutely frustrating to know that who they were sending after him would be capable of ripping him to pieces in the first place. At this realization before he even conducted his plans, he was deathly afraid of his older brother. The tiger had taught him everything that he even knew to this day, and Killua hadn't learned anything new either so the other would know what to expect if they ever fought one another. The wildcat didn't have any tricks up his sleeve that his brother didn't already know about. The mutated creature more than capable of wiping the floor with him, and making him feel genuine pain despite all the training that they had gone through since he was just a kitten. It was this moment that he realized what the emotion of ear was, having to even look up what it meant to actually feel fear and the symptoms of said fear. He had never had fear before, as there was no reason for him to be afraid. He had always been confident, but instead Killua's curse was that of his older brother. One that could basically make him do anything that he wanted and Killua would have no way to resist against him. Illumi would be capable of beating him in every sort of category, and there was a reason that his family prided Illumi in such a way to be able to train the heir to the family business in the first place. To say that Illumi was terrifying was a massive understatement that no one could figure out until they finally came across his family. Which he prayed that no one would have to bring themselves to do, especially for his sake. He never wanted his family to meet anyone here in Snowbound for as long as he could manage to keep them away. Besides, he was just starting to enjoy this place and wasn't ready to give it up just yet. He was stubborn in that regard, and selfish not to even consider the well being of the clan that he was in.

Yet, he had to be, in order to keep his sanity because he was tired of constantly moving around and having to start all over again. There were faces that he knew here, and there were faces that he cared about that lived in Snowbound now. He couldn't just up and give that up, not like last time where Illumi had stripped everything away from him. Killua still remembered the moment that Illumi had ripped out his metal claws a couple months ago before Killua had to pay someone to fix new claws into his paws and so far they were working without any deficiencies. No matter how strong someone made themselves to be, they were always going to be afraid of something, even if that fear ends up being something small, someone always has a weakness that others could exploit. Killua's weakness not as strong as compared to others and harder to find, but even he has his weaknesses in that regard. The ivory-hued wildcat wasn't one to really sleep at night, as his species was slightly nocturnal anyway. But on another note, he didn't want to end up going back to sleep after his recent episode with his night terror. In which Jacob actually had to be the one to patch him up because his paws were too soaked with blood to be able to hold the supplies that he needed properly. He felt weak and vulnerable at that moment and hoped that Jacob didn't think that he would allow something like that to happen again. There were no second chances when it came to Killua anyway. The young male was walking through Snowbound camp, his eyes flicking back and forth as he counted the number of heads and bodies that he could see in the particular dens. He was making sure that even if some creatures were out venturing into the night, that the majority of them were sleeping right now. Night patrols were practically nonexistent in that regard, and so he put it upon himself to bodyguard everyone while they were asleep. While he was doing this though, he could hear muffled noises from tunnels that were a distance away from him. Was someone having a nightmare? The bandage covered serval silently made his way through the tunnels before he finally heard someone sobbing accompanied with the scent of salt. Someone was obviously emotionally distraught. Something that Killua didn't have a lot of experience with, but he was at least going to attempt to help whoever it was. It was coming from the medic den ironically, and he peaked his head into the cavern, only to see a familiar hybrid laying down on the ground, tears pooling around his face. His sapphire blue optics went wide with shock as he hadn't expected the husky to be in a place like this! What the hell was happening to him? Was he poisoned? The other had come to the medic cavern for an obvious reason. Killua didn't like the thought of anyone dying in Snowbound right now, and his pawsteps made no sound as he arrived at Jacob's side. One of his paws raising into the air as he aimed to press the deadly cold paw onto the canines side trying to smell any blood but not catching any scents. "Jacob? The hell is going on? What happened?" Killua asked quickly and straight to the point. Who would poison someone this late at night? Well if it was Guru he could see that happening, but he would have caught someone's scent unless they had the same powers that he did. He noticed the herbs that were scattered in certain areas. The canine had been looking for something. He clenched his jaw as he didn't know enough about herbs, but if he knew what it looked like he could easily conjure up the herb that Jacob would need at no cost to Snowbound. "What herb were you looking for?" Killua questioned again, his voice calm as he wasn't at the point of panicking just yet. How had no one found Jacob yet with all the commotion?

snowbound -- snowstriker -- male -- 8 moons

[shadow=darkblue,right]KILLUA[/shadow]

Mental stability wasn't something that was hard to break. Killua had watch even the strongest of creatures break down on the spot because of how weak they were, or if they considered themselves to be a failure for not being able to protect those that he cared about. He knew all the different mental illnesses that could come from trauma, but that didn't mean he was an expert when it came to said information. Killua about a lot of things in most regards, but that was because he had other priorities when it came to his training. If it wasn't something that he could learn to later exploit in life, or if it wasn't something that pertained to him specifically, then he wasn't taught how to deal with it either. The assassin only knew the basics of what it was, and he wasn't a complete doctor either. Him being put in a position where he wasn't used to obviously would make him panic in most regards becuase he was used to knowing how to deal with every situation that presented itself. Yet, there was obviously things that Killua wouldn't do and that meant he was limited to his current skills and knowledge. Killua himself had his own form of mental issues, while some of them actually weren't brought to him by himself. Trauma rarely worked in away such as that. Killua had a voice that spoke out in the back of his head occasionally, especially if he was around London or anyone that he was connected with. The wildcat knew the reason for this because it went against all of his teachings to be around others that weren't his target. He was supposed to isolate himself like his brother had taught him to, and that would be the end of that. The assassin knew this and yet he continued to fight it as best as he could. The urges were becoming easier to control, but the worst part was if he started to become afraid of someone. His family is capable of manipulating his emotions from a distance. Something that Killua himself didn't even know about but he had a couple theories as to why he constantly had mood swings during certain situations. After all, it all went back to his family when it came to his misgivings, but Killua had never fully hallucinated before in his life.

That wasn't his issues as they usually happened while he was asleep rather than he was awake. The voice that he heard in the back of his head wasn't a hallucination, as it was actually his brother speaking through to him using some sort of power. Probably telepathy, or something very similar so that his brother would always make it feel like he was right next to him. He hated the bastard because of that and just wished his family would leave him alone. Everyone had their own issues, and he wondered if it was true for most of the creatures in Snowbound to be as happy as they were. The assassin knew that there was probably a catch, but like everyone else, there was something that they were hiding. Killua already knew that Jacob was hiding something based on the way the other had reacted a long time ago when he had asked if he came from a city and where he had come from in general. He could see the look in the other's eyes that showed that it wasn't exactly a happy story. Killua wasn't the one to dig up someone's past, and Jacob seemed to be the same as he wasn't the type to really question something about him. The young male kept that to himself, but it would always be in the back of his mind as he was incredibly observant to whatever happened to those that lived in Snowbound in the first place. But did he expect something to this degree? Of course, he didn't. Had he ever experienced someone going through an episode that wasn't himself? No, he didn't. And he wasn't sure what to do. His head snapped over his shoulder at the sound of a familiar voice, hearing the voice before he caught the tigers scent. Killua was nervous, and anxiety was digging its way through his throat. "I-I don't know I found him like this." Killua was quick to reply to the other's question as his gaze turned back toward the canine. What usually calmed him down? Nothing really. Logical words, but Jacob had never been the logical one so him probably saying that whatever was happening wasn't real probably wouldn't work. His jaw clenched when he heard more pawsteps coming toward them, it was going to get crowded in a space like this, and crowding around someone wasn't going to help. At least that's not what he would want. Jersey soon made his appearance, and Killua knew that even himself was out of his league, and moved out of the way before the other could push him.

He tried to console Jacob, and he wasn't sure if that was even going to work. A family usually helped right? Mel was the next on the scene, as he turned his head to look over toward the cougar, concern in his sapphire blue eyes for the Chief that was laying on the ground. She was quick to acquire the things that Jersey spoke about, how were those herbs going to help though? Killua wasn't an expert when it came to herbs, as he used more human items when it came to healing others. His eyes flickered toward Jacob when the other began to speak. Fire? What fire? Had something happened where he thought of a fire? This wasn't good with the way the other was breathing, but the other could just make himself pass out with the way that he was hyperventilating anyway so should they just knock him out? That would make everything easier but it wouldn't get rid of the core problem either. Lavender had a strong scent. Maybe that would have an effect on that or something? He had to do something as he hated feeling so damned useless. "Mel, put as much lavender as you can in front of Jacob. Have him smell it maybe? That might be why he turns to it." Killua said toward the Snowseeker before turning his gaze back toward Jacob. He needed to control his breathing. The wildcat would cautiously make his way forward and would aim to put his paw onto the side, he needed to count the others breaths if he was going to help, whether or not Jersey liked it or not. One mistake he could make the other start to suffocate. "Kuso." Killua cursed under his breath at the current situation before he began to work. His eyes focused on Jacob, and it was there that he would aim to slowly begin to control the amount of air that was flowing into the other's body. Not enough to completely cut off his air supply with the way his body was needing oxygen, but he was controlling it to where it would be a small decline. The other wouldn't suffer from his actions, but it would slow his heart rate if he controlled the other's breathing. He had one of his other paws raised as he would move the paw in a swirling motion as he controlled the air, and he aimed to slow Jacobs breathing to a regular tempo.

snowbound -- snowstriker -- male -- 8 moons