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no need to hide the truth -- stuff - Warringkingdoms - 03-28-2020
[font=trebuchet ms]She couldn't focus.
Sitting at her desk, her eyes flickering between the thick jargon of the books she'd borrowed from Finnloch and the blank stare of the paper, Rin wasn't sure what to think. Trails of mental processing seemed to lead somewhere promising, but each one was a dead end. She could not make herself continue to read, continue to process, as though any of this made sense to her.
It was supposed to be so simple. The concept of familiars was something she should have found interesting, and the speculation on the universe's metaphysics should have been riveting, but... the energy that they should have sparked in her was absent. It couldn't be a side effect of Nemhain not being there, as she hadn't been there for a while.
It's because no one else is there, a voice whispered, unhelpfully. They've all gotten sick of you and left.
But that couldn't be true. In fact, the incessant chatter of the outside had driven her into her room, where the only things that could bother her were her own mind and the reality of the situation. Maybe they haven't left yet, but they'll leave soon. Lemy had finally gotten tired of her efforts to try and fix things, if his resignation was any indication. He just did what any sane person would do. Of course it was the sane thing to do. No one in their right mind wanted a target on their back.
Tena and Lavi are gone too, she thought she heard, the relentless tapping of her claws against the wood doing nothing to drown it out. And Mistrim, and Valerian. Coop, Diya, Play, they'll follow suit soon. Gritting her teeth, she swatted at the side of her head, as if dismissing a fly. Sure enough, the voice went quiet, leaving her alone in the comforting, maddening silence.
She just wanted to sleep, or do something to stop the fraying at the edges of her brain. Unraveling, melting, boiling was her mind, even as she struggled to write something on the blank pages. And something she wrote, the single word, a meaningless contribution to her notes.
Setting her jaw, she lowered her head onto the desk, staring into the darkness of her shadow. If she let her eyes drift out of focus enough, she could almost see Nemhain staring back at her from within.
/dunno what this is, really
/tl;dr: Rin sitting in her room with her head down on the desk, unable to focus and angry about it