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GOOD TO GO FOR SOMETHING GOLDEN ; private - Suiteheart - 05-03-2018
[align=center][div style=" background-color: transparent; border: 0px solid black; width: 530px; min-height: 9px; font-family:; line-height: 110%; text-align: justify; padding: 20px"]Rage. Anxiety. Melancholy. Those three emotions swirled violently in her head - the ever-present storm of her life. It used to just be dark cloud on the horizon, threatening but never following through. Nowadays, it was hurricane-like. Dark. Painful. Try as she might, these were feelings she could not run from. Albeit she had escaped them for some time in her travels, this permanent home in the Ascendants had forced them upon her once more.
A sigh passed through her parted lips as she pushed these emotions to the deepest corner of her being. She was tired of feeling this way. She was tired of being weary. She just wanted to go back to sunshiny moods and feeling as though she were completely unstoppable. But those days were long behind her now. That dream had been crushed when she shapeshifted into a polar bear, cursed to remain in that form. Her wife feared her, hated her. Perhaps these thoughts were extreme, but... but the bond didn't lie. However, Suiteheart could not blame Margaery. This was Suite's fault, all of it.
Her broken silver locket was gently held between jet-black claws. The large bear inspected her broken piece of jewelry with sadness in her eyes. Then best gift she had ever received and she had destroyed it. She shook her head, attempting to fix it so that it might once against close and safeguard her past. But the task was easier said than done: Suiteheart's new form was not as deft as her feline body. Though she tended to be heavy-handed as a cat, she was even worse as a bear.
Curses flew from her mouth while she tinkered with the trinket. "I don't - ... This doesn't -..." Mutterings and half-formed sentences tumbled out of her mouth. It was incoherent babbling that didn't make much sense unless one truly listened closely.
She just wanted her necklace fixed. Was that too much to ask?
Re: GOOD TO GO FOR SOMETHING GOLDEN ; private - ★ HAZEL - 05-05-2018
★ WHEN MY HEART IS MADE FROM GOLD AND FORGIVENESS SEEMS TOO BOLD
Hazel couldn’t decide if Suite’s new form was objectively terrifying, or if she looked like a massive fuzzy pillow.
Having been absent during the actual transformation, Hazel was unaware that Margaery was horrified of Suite’s new form. In fact, Hazel had no idea that Margaery and Suite were married. This obliviousness happened to be one of those fateful crosses between her age and higher maturity level, even though one would think that the girl with the hesitant nature would be more observant.
Nevertheless, Hazel had learned that the polar bear was, in fact, Suiteheart, and luckily before she could interject with a “Who are you?” Hazel happened to really like Suite, regardless of her size and sailor tongue. She put out a younger, more at ease motherly vibe than Margy did, though neither was worse than the other. Hazel enjoyed them both, and despite her broken relationship with her mother, found herself gravitating towards both females, almost unconsciously in search of a replacement.
Unsurprisingly, she managed to spot Suite in the distance, sitting hunched over with something dangling between her long claws. Hazel had decided that it was said claws that frightened her, seeing as one could easily spear and toss her like a fruit. It made her want to call Arion and keep him close, even though the colt seemed to get skittish around Suite as well.
Frustration radiated from Suiteheart as Hazel neared, and almost immediately, she faltered, her heart slamming against her ribcage as the heated scent permeated her senses. She didn’t want to go any closer, knowing that the bear could lash out at any moment. This, compiled with the general trauma that plagued Hazel’s earlier childhood, was enough to have the girl freezing. She could see Mother’s anger, written clearly across her expression as she drunkenly tried to tamper with something, only to have it slip and break even further against the ground. Her fury would mount, and suddenly Hazel would be the closest thing in perimeter. Bared teeth and hoarse voices and piercing claws filled her mind, her ears.
Desperately, Hazel shook her head, trying to ignore her trembling paws. Suiteheart was not Mother. She was kind, and Hazel had put trust in her, despite her form. It wasn’t her fault, Hazel reminded herself. It was just Hazel’s childhood, and Suite didn’t deserve that to be forced on her.
Forcing herself forwards, Hazel took a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart. “Hi, Miss Suite,” She greeted, the formality slipping out in her nervous state. “What - What’re you fiddling with?
Having been absent during the actual transformation, Hazel was unaware that Margaery was horrified of Suite’s new form. In fact, Hazel had no idea that Margaery and Suite were married. This obliviousness happened to be one of those fateful crosses between her age and higher maturity level, even though one would think that the girl with the hesitant nature would be more observant.
Nevertheless, Hazel had learned that the polar bear was, in fact, Suiteheart, and luckily before she could interject with a “Who are you?” Hazel happened to really like Suite, regardless of her size and sailor tongue. She put out a younger, more at ease motherly vibe than Margy did, though neither was worse than the other. Hazel enjoyed them both, and despite her broken relationship with her mother, found herself gravitating towards both females, almost unconsciously in search of a replacement.
Unsurprisingly, she managed to spot Suite in the distance, sitting hunched over with something dangling between her long claws. Hazel had decided that it was said claws that frightened her, seeing as one could easily spear and toss her like a fruit. It made her want to call Arion and keep him close, even though the colt seemed to get skittish around Suite as well.
Frustration radiated from Suiteheart as Hazel neared, and almost immediately, she faltered, her heart slamming against her ribcage as the heated scent permeated her senses. She didn’t want to go any closer, knowing that the bear could lash out at any moment. This, compiled with the general trauma that plagued Hazel’s earlier childhood, was enough to have the girl freezing. She could see Mother’s anger, written clearly across her expression as she drunkenly tried to tamper with something, only to have it slip and break even further against the ground. Her fury would mount, and suddenly Hazel would be the closest thing in perimeter. Bared teeth and hoarse voices and piercing claws filled her mind, her ears.
Desperately, Hazel shook her head, trying to ignore her trembling paws. Suiteheart was not Mother. She was kind, and Hazel had put trust in her, despite her form. It wasn’t her fault, Hazel reminded herself. It was just Hazel’s childhood, and Suite didn’t deserve that to be forced on her.
Forcing herself forwards, Hazel took a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart. “Hi, Miss Suite,” She greeted, the formality slipping out in her nervous state. “What - What’re you fiddling with?
Re: GOOD TO GO FOR SOMETHING GOLDEN ; private - Suiteheart - 05-06-2018
[align=center][div style=" background-color: transparent; border: 0px solid black; width: 530px; min-height: 9px; font-family:; line-height: 110%; text-align: justify; padding: 20px"]Her new form was something she despised greatly. When she was younger, she had loved bears. They were cool and big, and they just seemed so incredibly awesome. The first time she had shifted to one, it had not been so bad - until things began to spiral out of control. And now? Now she was anxiously waiting for the fallout. It felt like she was walking on eggshells everywhere she went, and it hurt. What was worse was that everyone seemed to be frightened of her in some way or another.
Margaery hated her new form now, she knew. The terrified looks, the cold shoulder, and the growing divide between them were all dead giveaways. She didn't even need to bring up their bond, the way Suite could feel her wife's disapproval and disgust like daggers in her back. But she couldn't blame Margaery. No, she would never blame her wife for these feelings. As much as it hurt to see her wife hate what she was, it was Suite's fault for this. The incident was wholly and completely her own doing.
In addition to having her wife fear her, Hazel seemed almost the same way. Despite Suite being a gentle giant, the teeth and claws suggested otherwise. She didn't blame the young girl from being tentative. And had she known of Hazel past, she certainly wouldn't have blamed her.
At Hazel's voice, she turned to face her. The anger and frustration melted away immediately upon noticing the feline's own anxieties. A minute frown formed against Suite's lips as she realized Hazel was trying desperately to not be afraid of her. The polar bear shook the frown away as quickly as it appeared and instead let a soft grin surface.
"My locket. I broke it a while back. I somehow managed to fuck it up to where it doesn't close, but I'm too afraid to force it shut because my paws are so big that it might break," she answered, offering the broken piece of jewelry to Hazel so that she may observe it. Thinking back, Hazel had not been present when that whole ordeal occurred, so she knew nothing. Better tell her now, huh? "Margaery gave that to me a long, long time ago. You see the first picture inside? That's me and Margy on our first date all those years ago. That's when I knew I was going to marry her." She wore a delicate look, something akin to fragile peace. The picture was a good memory, one of the best ones she had. [color=#73B1B7][b]"The other picture is my little family back home. I had some good kids. They... They were everything. And now they're out there, somewhere. I'm gonna find them. It's just gonna take some time before I can piece everything together, you know? Kinda like this locket."
Re: GOOD TO GO FOR SOMETHING GOLDEN ; private - ★ HAZEL - 05-06-2018
★ WHEN MY HEART IS MADE FROM GOLD AND FORGIVENESS SEEMS TOO BOLD
To Hazel, the largest animal she had ever seen was a horse. Most of her old clan had been made of canines and felines, with anything else serving as nothing but a threat. Now that she was here, she had seen a tigress, a doe, and a polar bear. The surprises kept on coming.
Ears tilting forwards at the ease in emotion, Hazel inched closer, stopping a foot or so away to curl her tail around her paws. Her optics fixated on the locket, their bright gold searching the dainty silver. There was indeed something wrong with it - half the locket hung by the hinge, bent at an awkward angle like a broken joint.
Hazel’s fear seeped into curiosity as she was handed the piece of jewelry, leaning back on her haunches to reach for it with small paws. Turning it over, she gingerly ran her paw pads over it, skin prickling at the cool touch. It had seemed so microscopic in Suite’s massive paws, but to Hazel, the trinket was easily half the size of her head.
She started to wonder how such a small thing could be so significant before pausing, the tip of her tail brushing over the bandana secured around her foreleg. Never mind; she knew the answer to that. Hazel’s comfort blanket wasn’t the same as Suite’s, so she couldn’t quite understand the sentiment of it. Suite’s was a constant reminder of good, happy things. Every time she looked at it, she would remember the her love for her family. She would remember the glow that throbbed in her heart and ached in her paws; she would remember the fondness of hearing Margy laugh or seeing their children play. Hazel’s was...Hazel’s was a barrier. A barrier that kept her secret safe, despite the other scars that littered the inside of her back legs and the her hindquarters. As long as that bandana stayed safely tied around her leg, Hazel would be perfectly fine.
“It’s beautiful.” She purred, shaking her head to focus on Suite’s words. She peered at the picture of Suite and Margaery, a sudden smile dancing on her lips. They looked so young, so happy. So trouble-free and careless with love. Hazel’s heart bruised at the sight of it; if she had parents that were that in love, would she still be the way she was?
“Miss Margy hung a picture of you and her in her room the other day,” Hazel said absently. “You look so happy here. What was your first date like?” The question slipped out before Hazel could catch herself, and she stilled, knowing that was an invasive inquiry she had no right to make. How rude of her - the subject was clearly a bittersweet reverie for Suite, and Hazel was treading on thin ice. She swallowed. “You don’t have to, uh...answer that. That was rude of me.” She mumbled, keeping her gaze trained on the locket.
At the mention of her children, Hazel glanced up, her line of sight finding Suite’s. “Eli, Lissa, and...Lil?” She asked slowly. It took her a moment to remember their names, despite her similar conversation with Margaery taking place only a few days ago. “Miss Margy said that they were lost, too. I -” Deus, did she even have a right to be talking about this? “ - I think it’s wonderful that you want to find them. All lost things want to be found.” Because if they didn’t want to be found, then were they really lost?
After a beat of silence filled the air between them, Hazel held up the locket again. She liked Suiteheart and Margaery very much - they were both kind and caring, and in their own way, troubled and a little lost. Complex characters, indeed. Hazel wanted very badly to help make them happy again. “I can try to help you fix it, if you like.” She offered.
Ears tilting forwards at the ease in emotion, Hazel inched closer, stopping a foot or so away to curl her tail around her paws. Her optics fixated on the locket, their bright gold searching the dainty silver. There was indeed something wrong with it - half the locket hung by the hinge, bent at an awkward angle like a broken joint.
Hazel’s fear seeped into curiosity as she was handed the piece of jewelry, leaning back on her haunches to reach for it with small paws. Turning it over, she gingerly ran her paw pads over it, skin prickling at the cool touch. It had seemed so microscopic in Suite’s massive paws, but to Hazel, the trinket was easily half the size of her head.
She started to wonder how such a small thing could be so significant before pausing, the tip of her tail brushing over the bandana secured around her foreleg. Never mind; she knew the answer to that. Hazel’s comfort blanket wasn’t the same as Suite’s, so she couldn’t quite understand the sentiment of it. Suite’s was a constant reminder of good, happy things. Every time she looked at it, she would remember the her love for her family. She would remember the glow that throbbed in her heart and ached in her paws; she would remember the fondness of hearing Margy laugh or seeing their children play. Hazel’s was...Hazel’s was a barrier. A barrier that kept her secret safe, despite the other scars that littered the inside of her back legs and the her hindquarters. As long as that bandana stayed safely tied around her leg, Hazel would be perfectly fine.
“It’s beautiful.” She purred, shaking her head to focus on Suite’s words. She peered at the picture of Suite and Margaery, a sudden smile dancing on her lips. They looked so young, so happy. So trouble-free and careless with love. Hazel’s heart bruised at the sight of it; if she had parents that were that in love, would she still be the way she was?
“Miss Margy hung a picture of you and her in her room the other day,” Hazel said absently. “You look so happy here. What was your first date like?” The question slipped out before Hazel could catch herself, and she stilled, knowing that was an invasive inquiry she had no right to make. How rude of her - the subject was clearly a bittersweet reverie for Suite, and Hazel was treading on thin ice. She swallowed. “You don’t have to, uh...answer that. That was rude of me.” She mumbled, keeping her gaze trained on the locket.
At the mention of her children, Hazel glanced up, her line of sight finding Suite’s. “Eli, Lissa, and...Lil?” She asked slowly. It took her a moment to remember their names, despite her similar conversation with Margaery taking place only a few days ago. “Miss Margy said that they were lost, too. I -” Deus, did she even have a right to be talking about this? “ - I think it’s wonderful that you want to find them. All lost things want to be found.” Because if they didn’t want to be found, then were they really lost?
After a beat of silence filled the air between them, Hazel held up the locket again. She liked Suiteheart and Margaery very much - they were both kind and caring, and in their own way, troubled and a little lost. Complex characters, indeed. Hazel wanted very badly to help make them happy again. “I can try to help you fix it, if you like.” She offered.
Re: GOOD TO GO FOR SOMETHING GOLDEN ; private - Suiteheart - 05-06-2018
[align=center][div style=" background-color: transparent; border: 0px solid black; width: 530px; min-height: 9px; font-family:; line-height: 110%; text-align: justify; padding: 20px"]The biggest creature Suiteheart had ever laid eyes on was a dinosaur. It had been a Tyrannosaurus rex -- the king of the reptiles. Some enemy had shapeshifted into one during the heat of battle. It had been... odd. Terrifying. Then again, maybe it had all been a fever dream. A lot of strange things had occurred in her life, but that (fever dream or not) definitely topped the list.
Nowadays, she was the largest thing in existence it seemed. Granted, Eternalwar was almost her size, but Suite couldn't help but feel larger. Eternalwar had been a tiger her entire life, and Suite had only been a polar bear once before. And not long at that. And besides that, she had been a small to medium-sized feline. Margaery was taller than she, and even Bastillepaw had caught her in height before her transformation. The same could not longer said. Times were different.
A smile traced her maw at Hazel's words. The locket was beautiful. It was bright silver, clean and new-looking despite Suite having owned it for a few years. The trinket was perfectly heart-shaped and slightly rounded in order to keep her former secrets held. It had also once been completely without scratch, but the rocks she had fallen on changed that fact. The deep score on the back stood out like a sore thumb, and it made her more angry with herself than words could describe. She hoped she could find a way to cover it up. "Thanks, Haze."
Her dark eyes found their way to the picture of she and Margaery at the young girl's next words. A surprised look marked her snowy features as Hazel mentioned Margy had hung up a picture of the pair in her room. Relief and happiness flooded her senses, for surely that meant that deep down, Margaery still loved her like Suite loved Margy. Her smile only widened. "I'll have to remember to go see it then!" she said with a nod. At the girl's next words, she chuckled. "No, it's okay. I don't mind you asking. Our first date was kinda magical, honestly.
"Back home, we lived on these floating islands. Some were higher up than others, and I took her to one of the higher-up ones. Stars lit up the sky and the lights of our village burned brightly below us. I'd set up a little picnic dinner. And I was so corny too, like, I even brought a dumb little candle," she laughed, voice light. Peace rolled off of her in waves as this good memory floated to the surface of her mind. "I even found some champagne, I think. I also brought a camera, and a record player. And roses - those are Margy's favorite flower... And Hazel, you - you should've seen the look on her face. I've never seen someone so full of joy before. I think I fell in love with her smile and her laughter first."
Her smile slowly began to crumble. That had been so long ago. The two had been so young and so innocent, completely unaware of the troubles they would face together and separately. Back then, Suiteheart had felt like she could take on the world. Margaery made her feel like anything and everything was possible. Now, things were different. The pair were like ships passing in the night. They no longer wore the happy smiles and easy airs. She wasn't sure if they would ever do that again. Her chest ached something awful, and it was all she could do to not completely fall apart.
She did nod at Hazel's inquiry about her children's names. Eli, Lissa, and Lil. The souls. There were others, too, but they had grown up and left on their own journeys. Contact with them had been lost, and she knew in her heart of hearts that the souls were the only ones she would ever see again. It was as painful as it was comforting. "Thank you for thinking that. And I know they want to be found. I just know it. Mother's intuition, I guess." Or she had to believe it. It made sleeping easier.
Hazel's next question caused Suiteheart to light up just slightly. She wanted to help fix the locket? "Yes. Please." Hazel was smart. She must have known just what to do. If the girl could get it fixed, Suite would owe her big time. She'd do anything.
"And what about you, Haze?" the Starstruck Guardian asked. Admittedly, she did not know much about the girl, but she wanted to get to know her. She reminded Suite so much of Littlepaw too. It was like Hazel was a piece of home. It was comforting.
Re: GOOD TO GO FOR SOMETHING GOLDEN ; private - ★ HAZEL - 05-20-2018
[align=center][table][tr][td][/td][td][/td][td][/td][td][/td][/tr][/table]
★ WHEN MY HEART IS MADE FROM GOLD AND FORGIVENESS SEEMS TOO BOLD
ooc YELLS BECAUSE I WANT TO KEEP THIS ALIVE
A ripple of giddiness rushed down her spine at Suite’s mood change. The fact that Margy had a picture of them in her room seemed to make her much happier, which melted the heavy, oppressive feeling that hung in the air moments before. It was as if she could breathe again and her nerves had loosened.
“Floating islands?” Hazel echoed, eyes owlish with awe. She wondered if they were ever in danger of falling off the edge, and how far down it would be. Nevertheless, floating islands indeed sounded magical - magical and whimsical and dreamy. Margaery must have loved that. The chocolate point gave off somewhat of the romantic type, with her gardens of roses and the way she held herself.
“Candles aren’t dumb,” She insisted. “They’re thoughtful and pretty. Like...like you captured a star and put it on a stick.” Hazel thought candles were beautiful. They represented so many things: time and light and love and death and so many more depending on the context of the situation.
As Suite’s smile began to crumble, Hazel felt her own mood fall. Please don’t be sad, she wanted to say, you were so happy a moment ago. She didn’t want Suite to be upset. She wanted her to remember her love and hold it near her heart, because love was such a fickle thing and so hard to find.
When Suite agreed to let her help fix the necklace, Hazel felt a small sweep of anxiety tremble in her paws. She was no professional, and the necklace was so clearly important and crucial to the polar bear. Hazel didn’t want to be the cause of something as horrible as breaking the locket, but...it was a better option than letting Suite try with her massive claws.
Immediately, she began tinkering with the necklace, trying to figure out how it worked before she actually tried to take anything apart. There seemed to be a hinge at the back that was stuck, and if she could just - if she could just loosen that one little -
Suite’s question had Hazel’s thoughts stalling. Or, quite possibly kicking into overdrive. She was dreading the moment someone would ask about her past, afraid of what they might think if they knew. Instinctively, a paw fell to the bandanna wrapped around her arm, guarding one of her most shameful secrets.
“I...ran away from home.” Hazel said carefully, keeping her voice level despite the slight shake as she tried to keep focus on the delicate object in front of her. She would keep it light, vague; not because she didn’t trust Suite to keep a secret, but because she was too scared she wouldn’t be able to change Suite’s opinion of her after she knew.
A ripple of giddiness rushed down her spine at Suite’s mood change. The fact that Margy had a picture of them in her room seemed to make her much happier, which melted the heavy, oppressive feeling that hung in the air moments before. It was as if she could breathe again and her nerves had loosened.
“Floating islands?” Hazel echoed, eyes owlish with awe. She wondered if they were ever in danger of falling off the edge, and how far down it would be. Nevertheless, floating islands indeed sounded magical - magical and whimsical and dreamy. Margaery must have loved that. The chocolate point gave off somewhat of the romantic type, with her gardens of roses and the way she held herself.
“Candles aren’t dumb,” She insisted. “They’re thoughtful and pretty. Like...like you captured a star and put it on a stick.” Hazel thought candles were beautiful. They represented so many things: time and light and love and death and so many more depending on the context of the situation.
As Suite’s smile began to crumble, Hazel felt her own mood fall. Please don’t be sad, she wanted to say, you were so happy a moment ago. She didn’t want Suite to be upset. She wanted her to remember her love and hold it near her heart, because love was such a fickle thing and so hard to find.
When Suite agreed to let her help fix the necklace, Hazel felt a small sweep of anxiety tremble in her paws. She was no professional, and the necklace was so clearly important and crucial to the polar bear. Hazel didn’t want to be the cause of something as horrible as breaking the locket, but...it was a better option than letting Suite try with her massive claws.
Immediately, she began tinkering with the necklace, trying to figure out how it worked before she actually tried to take anything apart. There seemed to be a hinge at the back that was stuck, and if she could just - if she could just loosen that one little -
Suite’s question had Hazel’s thoughts stalling. Or, quite possibly kicking into overdrive. She was dreading the moment someone would ask about her past, afraid of what they might think if they knew. Instinctively, a paw fell to the bandanna wrapped around her arm, guarding one of her most shameful secrets.
“I...ran away from home.” Hazel said carefully, keeping her voice level despite the slight shake as she tried to keep focus on the delicate object in front of her. She would keep it light, vague; not because she didn’t trust Suite to keep a secret, but because she was too scared she wouldn’t be able to change Suite’s opinion of her after she knew.