[OOC: mobile, haven’t slept till 10am yesterday so forgive mistakes PLEASE.

Long story short he got himself out using earth elementals which were just discovered rn ]


Awake.

Conscious.

There was a mental sensation of falling, but no physical confirmation. Something told him he was going to hit the ground. He hit- no collided with something.

A gasp of air and he was back. From a nap? From what? He couldn’t remember... sleep. He must’ve had a deep rest. Lord knows he was exhausted after the battle.

There was nothing before as far as he knew. Nothing. It wasn’t cold but there was a lack of warmth despite the dense air. Kydobi moved to get up and found himself unable to. The brain hadn’t reconnected the wires to the body yet... he was paralyzed. His heart sped up, it made him realize just how slowly it had been going prior... as if turning on after a long while.

He opened his eyes or he thought he did and he saw nothing. Nothing but darkness and fear set in.... what was this? Eyes moved around trying to see something. Nothing. His heart kept speeding up and he wasn’t sure what to do.

God. This panic felt too familiar... where was he! His heart quenched as the fires begin to light inside it hurt having not been ablaze in so long, the pain caused him to gasp only to realize he couldn’t pull in air. Not again not again not again his brain would scream. Not again what? He couldn’t figure it out and yet he knew but he didn’t really know and yet something deep inside him called not again not again find a way out, find a way out, not again.

And it all came rushing back.

A airless, closed scream underground would be heard by no one. Not even himself. All he heard was the roar of his heart. The panic. The pain. The trauma, the... the feeling of death. Of blacking out. Of nothing? Of pulling at anything and everything in an attempt to hold on to life.

Of feeling Aurum rip into his throat. He tried to swallow, dry. There was dirt in his mouth and it got stuck with no water to wash it down. He was dying again. Was this hell? Was this limbo? Forced to live in terror.

What had he done wrong?

Deja vu washed over him... he had woken up before... went back to sleep  again. In this same dark spot. Died from suffocation. Again and again... but he woke up always.

Eternal damnation... was that his fate? Surely he hadn’t- his body was crying. Aching. Air was needed. Blood flow was needed. Movement was vital.

He was dying. Again. Alone.

He had to get out. That much he was sure, people needed him. If memory serves correctly Jervis neede- his thoughts hushed as he remembered who had tripped him. Perhaps there was no need to come back...

And then he remembered Aine, with her vines and her cries and her trying to help him. Jervis was nothing but the child? She was motivation from the start. Then there was August.... Gael... had he lived? Was Aine alone? Bai Shi?

His heart clamores with vigor, he would find a way out! He had to... he just needed to push. He began to dig, progress was slow. His paws were scraping something futilely, however he felt himself rising... felt dirt giving way.

Closer! Closer! He was getting exhausted, his head hurt. But then there was a rumbled and a god awful brightness to the right side of his head he would turn to see the light above him to his right. He was on his side...

It didn’t make sense, and yet he kept going. Quickly he was out, clawing his way above to the side of a tree. He couldn’t reach into his maw but he didn’t want the dirt there. Lodged deep in his throat, a breath was something he still couldn’t have. Out. He imagined the dirt pulling Itself out of his body and... it did. Gagging he spat as it fell onto the ground.

He gasped, breathing as he turned around to see a grave. For him? It was so foreign and terrifying. Who had buried him? Who else was buried? Timidly he crept forward and peered into the hole, to his relieve there was none.

Still breathing heavily he would scrabble away. Eyes wide with terror as he tried to comprehend what was happening... he couldn’t and so he distracted himself and ignored it.

Find the others.


**********

Clumsily, he would walk into the middle of the camp. The air was different and he feared he wouldn’t be welcome, some noticed him... he tried to ignore their stared and chose the floor over their faces for a view.

He wasn’t sure what to do. For all he knew everyone he loved was dead. He smelled her everywhere. Goldie scent stood out like a sore thumb.

Quietly he would sit at the bottom of the strategist temple. Attempting to keep to the shadows...

[OOC: ]

To say it was a relief to see Fourthwall would be an understatement. In fact the brute felt surprise more than anything. He had forgotten that their friend was... pregnant and in a much smaller form than what the jaguar was used to. Their eagerness also caught him by surprise, not expecting his fellow marauder to have missed him so much.

Truth be told, Kydobi expected Fourthwall to have been slaughtered. Although he was very happy to see them, he was still in shock and his face was slow as his movements.

Eyes would flicker to the floor when he noted the change of tone, worry. His focus switched to his mud caked paws, the dirtiest he had ever seen them. It would take long to clean it thoroughly.

The jaguar sighed, not saying anything. Moments to those outside but inside his mind he was stuck in a memory that felt like forever. The feeling of dying is what stuck the most, the darkness. That falling sensation, he couldn’t figure it out. But once he smashed painlessly into his... body...

He shook his head and furled his eyebrows at the ground. Death was a cold hotel room. He had no intentions of going back.

Then Gael would come and he would raise his head, where was Aine? She was okay? When the fox mentioned he relaxed. Allowing them to observe him.

He had no wounds, despite the serious damage done. He hadn’t been dead long enough for the wounds to have seal up into scars the way they had. But they were, across his face and eye and a terrible nasty looking amount on his throat. Even on his shoulders and thighs.

A reminder of his failure.

Kydobi swallowed a lump in his throat, realizing that all would see what was on his body. When Gael asked him for Aine he shook his head, with a scratchy dry throat he spoke, “no-no... she doesn’t need to see me all dirty. If she comes she comes...”

He swallowed again and tried to clear his throat, looking at Fourth he would softly ask for water. His voice cracked as he tried to fight back this urge to cower into a corner.

Everyone was staring.

[OOC: ]

The cicadas face brought more than just feelings of warmth and companionship. The dragon’s appearance also brought heavy memories, of the beginning of the ill-fated raid that had brought them all to defeat.

When he heard the familiar chatter and buzz his mind was snatched from the present and thrown into the past. His heart was pumping as he flexed his claws into the earth, if anyone was sensitive enough the would be able to feel the earth vibrate under there paws. He knew the battle was over and yet he couldn’t help it.  Couldn’t help but feel terror in knowing what would happen. These were memories left sitting in his head, he had died before they could be processed and accepted and so he was stuck with having to manage the overflow of them all at once.

In silent flashback, he would only be brought out of when he smelled her. Her as in them. Aine and Goldie. Who new two people who stirred such polar emotions within the jaguar could be within the same vicinity.

“Mist-mister Kydobi?”

The vision faded and his body relaxed, muscles no longer flexing and rippling with stress and bewilderment. She brought him back to reality and he would exhale looking at her softly. She cried she knew it in Gael’s fur and Kydobi frowned. To know he was the cause of such deep sorrow in a child so young was making him tear up.

He felt guilty and obligated to make it up to her, “i-I’m sorry Aine...” he would look away from her as he tried to come up with something else to say but he couldn’t. There was nothing to say.

Although in slight denial, everyone was confirming the very thing he wanted to be a lie. He had died. Or at least it seemed like it. Perhaps he was in a coma? Some deep stasis in which he appeared dead? But why hadn’t he suffocated in his grave, a quiet voice would ask. That he wasn’t sure.

A scarred face would look at Astiar and Kydobi would give a weak smile. Immediately eyes would look to the damaged lake and his gaze darkened. Who had done that? Who would hurt such a kind beast? Where was everyone else? Caught in a flurry of questions he would slowly growl, everyonce in a while he would see people. Aurum. Jervis. Idyll... people he blamed for this.


But I’m that crowd of enemies, Goldie’s face did not appear. But she did show up and she did stay back and for that he was grateful. He no longer hated her as viciously as before but he would not ever like her. Perhaps some cold respect. The very person he was trying to protect had proven Goldie right. At the expense of his life. There was a flicker of pain where the scimitar had not only dug deep but shocked him. He would look and see a jagged scar. So it seemed his body was a new, healed and healthier than ever.. but there still had to be reminders. He had no knowledge of the scars upon his face yet.

His gaze would shift to Goldie, eyes on her own. There was no expression whatsoever. “Where is Jervis?”, he would ask with a scratchy voice roughened by a low growl. Part of him hoped the brute was dead, that the vermin died painfully and slowly. The other half wished the opposite, he wanted to taste the fox’s blood in his maw for what they had done to him. He wanted to eat them, as brutal and savage that sounded... it was true. Kydobi had made a mistake with them and the Ardent had abused and exploited Kydobi’s loyalty till the very end. The fox had ruined the jaguars reputation among the other groups.

It was the answer to Kydobi’s “why the hell are we all here still”. Because they had no where else to go. Because they all were  here still. Familiarity and companionship. Because no one wanted to sacrifice that feeling for one of alienation. There was a stain on each and everyone of their names just because they were Pittian... no one would accept them like each other would. And so they stayed.

It was why Kydobi came back. This was his family. He loved them.

Even though he had been focused on something entirely else, it wouldn’t be for long. He sensed their arrival and he couldn’t help but stand up eagerly. His nose and ears heard them before his eyes saw them... but they would come for him no doubt.

He spotted them in his favorite form of theirs. The familiar vitiligo pelt brought more comfort than anyone. He chuffed softly, tail rippling with eagerness.

The Marauder watched them come closer and closer, he did not miss the way they did it. Had they gone completely blind? It didn’t matter, they were alive. He would raise his chin and straighten his posture when he anticipated a nuzzle. But he was met with a warm tongue on his face. He was disappointed, but he understood he was not clean. They would make up for it later though, he was sure.

The grave had been so cold. All he found here was warmth and he was ever grateful. Surrounded by people who cared for him as he did to them.

He looked at Goldie once more, perhaps asking her to come closer. He felt she wanted to say something and he couldn’t help but be curious as to what.

A welcome back? Or some bitter words.