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+----- Thread: give me a sign, I want to believe -- Suite (/showthread.php?tid=10353)
give me a sign, I want to believe -- Suite - Warringkingdoms - 09-11-2019
/tw: flashbacks in italicized portions, mentions of death by punctured lungs in first two italicized lines, nosebleed mentioned in last four paragraphs
With another day came another sleepless night.
The starlight shining in through the lone window framed Rin in blue, while her green eyes remained wide open. She couldn’t focus, nor could she clear her head. Her body had, evidently, decided to forgo nightmares and opt instead for not going to sleep at all. She still hadn’t decided if that was better or worse than the alternative, waking up in a panic and having to check to make sure she hadn’t actually been slain.
Some creatures hoped to dream of their clanmates, but they were the ones who weren’t drowning in guilt.
With a sigh, she rolled over, got to her feet, and headed for the door. There was nothing useful about lying around and staring at the wall. Padding out into the street, she inhaled deeply. Summer air, perpetually warm, almost always humid, provided a sort of stability.
A smaller house, worn by time and weather, caught her eye. She knew this one wasn’t occupied, and she also knew it contained tools- having seen people carry pruning shears and similar objects out of its doors. Walking over and entering, she stifled a cough at the dust in the air.
Her eyes wandered the desks, until they fell upon a hammer and chisel. If someone wanted to carve messages or images into stone, that was great, but that didn’t help her much. She had been looking for...
...actually, maybe they would be useful after all. Not for the reason that she had originally come here, but the beginnings of a new idea were beginning to form in her mind. Rin stuffed the tools into her bag, then turned and left the building.
Her steps eventually led her out of the city and into the fields. She was well aware that hunting gods now, when they were on the precipice of war with the Pitt, was a terrible idea- so she might as well get to work on something productive until the raid was officially called.
This reasoning, while valid, didn’t make it any easier to step into the bounds of Starpool again.
Rin tried to keep her eyes to the ground as she approached the cliff faces surrounding the opening, but she instinctively found herself glancing up at the tree every now and then. Pendants, dozens of them, gleaming harshly in the moonlight. Moonlight… to think even now, the Huntress’ fury wasn’t completely gone.
They weren’t the only ones who had come to despise her.
Swallowing, she stopped a few feet away from the wall, then removed the hammer and chisel from her bag. She allowed herself to wander back into the recesses of her memory, things she’d tried to move forward from but never could. She needed names. All of them, in fact. She’d heard whispers, seen writings, but they were so long ago…
Months spent running from the past, and now she allowed it to catch up for just a moment. Just long enough to put it where it belonged. Their stories needed to be told- none of them deserved to be forgotten.
Telekinetically raising one object was simple enough; raising two at a time was not. She nearly lost her grip on the hammer when she raised the chisel along with it, her mind straining to split its focus between the two. Oh, well. She needed to learn eventually. Setting the chisel against the stone, she thought of the first name-
-and struck, his body slamming into the floor.
Cracking ribs, cracking stone, what difference did it make?
Inhaling sharply, Rin struck the hammer against the chisel, a steady beat to offset her unsteady heartbeat. Lines formed a letter, letters formed a name, a name formed a clan, a clan formed a member, a member formed a final survivor, a final survivor formed history. A first to die, recorded by the last to die, so she inevitably would be.
Starrynight.
As the final strike cemented his name, Rin staggered backwards, the hammer and chisel dropping to the floor. Her head was already pounding from the sudden stress, her face burning. Why? This was no more intensive than shooting, and she could shoot for much longer periods than this.
One name, hundreds more to go. Gritting her teeth, Rin lifted the tools back into the air and began carving another name into the stone, each strike growing harsher and harsher on her ears. She thought she could see sparks flying from the impacts, each a tiny echo of the fire, the fire that had-
-destroyed an observatory, a piece of history, out of spite. Planecrash, one she hadn’t met. That didn’t matter.
-brought out the best in those who remained. Phobeus, whom she hadn’t met either. History didn’t depend on her.
-struck fear into the coldest of hearts. Immortalhd, whom she had encountered once. History was for them, all of them- not for her.
-burst from one person, but obliterated an entire hospital, an entire home.
Her vision went dark, and she stumbled forward, leaning against the wall and breathing heavily. The hammer and chisel clattered to the ground beside her, none the worse for wear. Four names. Not enough to make a dent in anything except her own psyche.
”...I’m not strong enough,” she mumbled to herself, breathing in slowly. She smelled salt and iron and wetness. Reaching a paw up to her face, she ran it quickly over her nose, then looked down at it. Blood stained its white surface.
What was wrong with her? It was just four names. The Ascendants’ history went on for much longer than that. She owed them, didn’t she? All that effort expended on someone who struggled to do so much as record names or administer first aid.
Look at what you’ve become.
Grimacing, she lay down on the stone and curled up, waiting for the dizziness to stop. A nosebleed was nothing serious, she could continue to work with that, but if she couldn’t even stand, she couldn’t do much else.
Re: give me a sign, I want to believe -- Suite - Suiteheart - 09-12-2019
[table][tr][td]
SUITEHEART
THE AFTERLIFE
AT PEACE
[/td][td]It was funny, how it all began.
Suiteheart could remember the day so clearly. It had been after the fall of their former home - those floating islands in the cold mountains. She had wandered for countless days and nights, searching for loved ones. It seemed as though a century had passed - perhaps it had -, but she eventually found them. Ever united by their souls, she had found Margaery. And as luck would have it, their daughters, Lilyspoise, resided in the Typhoon. They had been whole again. Sure, a little bruised, a little worse for wear, but they had found each other. And that was enough.
Suite had also found the Ascendants. A wistful smile perched easily open her lips. Oh, how she had loved that place. It was better than the other group... It was better than her first home. After months of living on her own, it was nice to have a home again. And it wasn't just a home in the location sense. No, it was in the members of their little Clan.
Bast. She remembered that smug smile of his and those blue, blue eyes. He was the only son she had gotten to see grow up. He had grown so much... She remembered the look on his face, the tears in his eyes, the strain in his voice, after she and Margy had asked him to hold onto their memories so that they might pass easily into death.
And Hazel. She had been so shy and timid, but she had grown too. The little golden girl with a heart too big for her chest. She was a living, breathing, piece of art, and Suite hoped Haze understood it. She remembered the large paintings in the Observatory. She remembered teaching Hazel to play the ukulele. The smiles. The tears.
Then, there was Cooper. And Roy. Suite remembered them too. Cooper had taken care of her when she refused to take care of herself, and she had taken care of him when he was down. If she tried hard enough, she could still feel the gentle lap of the ocean as they gazed at the moon. And Roy, her hot-headed friend. She liked to think she had broken him out of his shell. She remembered the bonfires. The wedding.
There were others too - Oni. Diya. Thea. They had been so young. She had left them too soon, she knew.
And then, there was Warringkingdoms. Rin. Suiteheart remembered their talks, and she remembered the music. Another sad smile graced her features. She could picture that green scarf so clearly in her mind and the reserved girl wearing it - the girl who was hiding a smile. Whenever she thought about Rin, she pictured her singing. She reviewed that day she had dragged a menagerie of instruments out into the open; Rin had been the first to step up, to request a song, to sing along. Her best friend. The smell of herbs that always wreathed around her.
There was a gentle ache that splintered through her being.
Bastille and Hazel were doing well. They were far, far from this place. They had found children to take care of. She wondered if either of them knew that a part of her soul rested in one of them. She wondered if they knew it was the same for Margaery. Yes, despite Selene having promised that lifetime to be the last, it was only another beginning; Suiteheart's soul was too strong to stay down for very long.
But everyone else had gone.
Everyone but Rin. She was alone in the world. Suiteheart felt responsibility for it. She had chosen to pass her memories along. She had chosen to return to the sea. She had chosen to close this chapter of her life. After her soul crossed over, after she was given a certain omnipotence, she was aware of all she had left in her wake. And though Suite may have not loved widely, she did love deeply. Even across the planes of existence, she could feel their heartache. She wondered if they felt hers too.
With nothing left to do, she decided she would watch over them. But try as she might, she was not allowed to interfere.
Still, when had she listened to rules? From time to time, she had guided those she had left behind. She had watched over them and taken care of them as best she could until their own lives had been completed. And then? Then, she welcomed them home.
Now was one of those moments, though - one of those moments when she felt she needed to step in.
The white feline had been watching Rin for some time. She had always known Rin was capable of great things, and she was more than proud her friend had survived all she had... But she worried. She could see the way exhaustion clung to the other life expensive perfume. Suiteheart could see the dullness behind Rin's eyes, the secret sadness in her expression, the way the weight of the world pushed her shoulders down. She had had enough; it was time to visit an old friend.
The punk appeared then. Her ivory fur caught the moonlight, and those baby blue eyes of hers reflected starlight. Silver piercings decorated her ears, a silver locket and pendant her neck. That necklace-like scar decorated her throat, not lost to her even in the afterlife. Her best accessory, her lopsided smile, adorned her lips with ease as she took in Rin's form.
Though her friend was down, she wasn't worried. Much. Rin had endured, and she would continue to endure. A nervous look leaked into her eyes, but she tried to forget those feelings. It would all be alright, she reminded herself.
Her eyes wandered the pendants hanging from the great oak tree, and her heart seemed to catch in her chest. So many of them danced in the darkness. The Ascendants had once been so powerful and so capable of anything. Things had changed, but it didn't mean it wasn't for the best. This was how things were always going to play out, she knew. It was just... life.
Her focus shifted to the memorial wall, and a chuckle tumbled passed her lips. Her laugh was light, happy. Rin was a shining example of what a friend should be. When there was no on else, she remembered.
"Don't tell me you've already forgotten me, Rinny." Her voice was gentle, teasing. The nickname rolled off her tongue with ease. Her lopsided smile burned as brightly as the stars. "Or maybe you, like, forgot how to spell my name? It's real easy, you know."
[/td][/tr][/table]Suiteheart could remember the day so clearly. It had been after the fall of their former home - those floating islands in the cold mountains. She had wandered for countless days and nights, searching for loved ones. It seemed as though a century had passed - perhaps it had -, but she eventually found them. Ever united by their souls, she had found Margaery. And as luck would have it, their daughters, Lilyspoise, resided in the Typhoon. They had been whole again. Sure, a little bruised, a little worse for wear, but they had found each other. And that was enough.
Suite had also found the Ascendants. A wistful smile perched easily open her lips. Oh, how she had loved that place. It was better than the other group... It was better than her first home. After months of living on her own, it was nice to have a home again. And it wasn't just a home in the location sense. No, it was in the members of their little Clan.
Bast. She remembered that smug smile of his and those blue, blue eyes. He was the only son she had gotten to see grow up. He had grown so much... She remembered the look on his face, the tears in his eyes, the strain in his voice, after she and Margy had asked him to hold onto their memories so that they might pass easily into death.
And Hazel. She had been so shy and timid, but she had grown too. The little golden girl with a heart too big for her chest. She was a living, breathing, piece of art, and Suite hoped Haze understood it. She remembered the large paintings in the Observatory. She remembered teaching Hazel to play the ukulele. The smiles. The tears.
Then, there was Cooper. And Roy. Suite remembered them too. Cooper had taken care of her when she refused to take care of herself, and she had taken care of him when he was down. If she tried hard enough, she could still feel the gentle lap of the ocean as they gazed at the moon. And Roy, her hot-headed friend. She liked to think she had broken him out of his shell. She remembered the bonfires. The wedding.
There were others too - Oni. Diya. Thea. They had been so young. She had left them too soon, she knew.
And then, there was Warringkingdoms. Rin. Suiteheart remembered their talks, and she remembered the music. Another sad smile graced her features. She could picture that green scarf so clearly in her mind and the reserved girl wearing it - the girl who was hiding a smile. Whenever she thought about Rin, she pictured her singing. She reviewed that day she had dragged a menagerie of instruments out into the open; Rin had been the first to step up, to request a song, to sing along. Her best friend. The smell of herbs that always wreathed around her.
There was a gentle ache that splintered through her being.
Bastille and Hazel were doing well. They were far, far from this place. They had found children to take care of. She wondered if either of them knew that a part of her soul rested in one of them. She wondered if they knew it was the same for Margaery. Yes, despite Selene having promised that lifetime to be the last, it was only another beginning; Suiteheart's soul was too strong to stay down for very long.
But everyone else had gone.
Everyone but Rin. She was alone in the world. Suiteheart felt responsibility for it. She had chosen to pass her memories along. She had chosen to return to the sea. She had chosen to close this chapter of her life. After her soul crossed over, after she was given a certain omnipotence, she was aware of all she had left in her wake. And though Suite may have not loved widely, she did love deeply. Even across the planes of existence, she could feel their heartache. She wondered if they felt hers too.
With nothing left to do, she decided she would watch over them. But try as she might, she was not allowed to interfere.
Still, when had she listened to rules? From time to time, she had guided those she had left behind. She had watched over them and taken care of them as best she could until their own lives had been completed. And then? Then, she welcomed them home.
Now was one of those moments, though - one of those moments when she felt she needed to step in.
The white feline had been watching Rin for some time. She had always known Rin was capable of great things, and she was more than proud her friend had survived all she had... But she worried. She could see the way exhaustion clung to the other life expensive perfume. Suiteheart could see the dullness behind Rin's eyes, the secret sadness in her expression, the way the weight of the world pushed her shoulders down. She had had enough; it was time to visit an old friend.
The punk appeared then. Her ivory fur caught the moonlight, and those baby blue eyes of hers reflected starlight. Silver piercings decorated her ears, a silver locket and pendant her neck. That necklace-like scar decorated her throat, not lost to her even in the afterlife. Her best accessory, her lopsided smile, adorned her lips with ease as she took in Rin's form.
Though her friend was down, she wasn't worried. Much. Rin had endured, and she would continue to endure. A nervous look leaked into her eyes, but she tried to forget those feelings. It would all be alright, she reminded herself.
Her eyes wandered the pendants hanging from the great oak tree, and her heart seemed to catch in her chest. So many of them danced in the darkness. The Ascendants had once been so powerful and so capable of anything. Things had changed, but it didn't mean it wasn't for the best. This was how things were always going to play out, she knew. It was just... life.
Her focus shifted to the memorial wall, and a chuckle tumbled passed her lips. Her laugh was light, happy. Rin was a shining example of what a friend should be. When there was no on else, she remembered.
"Don't tell me you've already forgotten me, Rinny." Her voice was gentle, teasing. The nickname rolled off her tongue with ease. Her lopsided smile burned as brightly as the stars. "Or maybe you, like, forgot how to spell my name? It's real easy, you know."
Re: give me a sign, I want to believe -- Suite - Warringkingdoms - 09-12-2019
[font=trebuchet ms]/tw: flashbacks in italicized portion
To give pieces of one's soul freely to others was something she kind of understood, actually.
Well, maybe more in a metaphorical sense than literal. Allowing people into her life, letting them see parts of her she would never show the world at large, taking the time to understand them and help them... in its own way, she had given them each a small part of her soul, until most of her soul was owned not by herself but by others. When they had left her life, they took the pieces with them. Why wouldn't they? They'd done enough for her, the least she could do was let them keep a piece of her. It was all she could give, really.
If she had the ability to view her own soul, she had no idea what she would see. Would anything be left? Then again, if she had that power, her own conscious would be the least concerning thing she saw. There was no reason to observe the rest of the souls she'd left scattered in her wake for any longer than she needed to, lest she go mad from the gravity of it all. They would have their vengeance, they would have peace, but she could not let them consume her before that happened.
Laughter- someone was behind her, someone laughing at her plight, laughing at what she was doing. A god, for certain. Her claws instantly unsheathed and she scrambled to her feet, the wave of nausea washing over her temporarily ignored. She still hadn't replaced her arrows. Would that be the error that killed her, of all things?
She whipped around to face her attacker, eyes wide, teeth bared, but at the same moment her eyes took in the form before her, the words reached her ears.
A confrontation, ever so brief. The thunder of heavy footsteps, charging head-on, jaws opened to snap down on scarf-wrapped neck. A leap moments before, claws extended, scoring across scarred back.
Cat versus polar bear- but this wasn't a polar bear, this was another feline. Her eyes were soft, her voice light, her expression a lopsided smile. This was not the grotesque impostor that had attacked earlier. The Maiden could take many things, but she could not take everything.
Rin swallowed heavily, unsteadily stepping back and leaning against the wall, the dizziness returning in full force. How was this possible? Was it possible? It wasn't a dream, if it were a dream she wouldn't still be feeling the aftereffects of her power usage. A different impostor, perhaps, but none of the other gods that she knew of would settle for impersonating a dead person.
The only logical possibility was that this really was Suiteheart, but... why would she come back?
Actually, Rin knew why. It was easy for her to forget that theoretical (and apparently, actual) observers from the afterlife couldn't see the inner thoughts or memories of those who they observed. Suite probably didn't know about her first home, or her role in its fate. It was probably time to correct that, then.
...correcting that would mean letting more and more of the past catch up to her, but she would survive. Even if she wouldn't, keeping Suite in the dark was wrong.
Rin sheathed her claws and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," she murmured, "I thought I was being ambushed, for a moment." She might have granted Suite a "hi, I missed you," but it seemed inappropriate considering what she needed to do. Turning her gaze back to the wall for a moment, she forced a low scoff. "I'm getting to it. I'm putting the names of those I didn't know well first, so I don't forget."
The snark rung hollow, and she knew it full well. While she didn't look at herself in the mirror often, she knew the feeling of having a weighted expression that no amount of "putting on the brave face" would get rid of. Plus, this was Suite; she was the kind of person who could tell instantly if a friend was lying.
Sitting down, she lowered her head. "Listen, I'm... not who you think I am," she said, her ears flattening against her skull. "The destruction that follows me... the Ascendants wasn't the first to fall because of it, and for all I know it won't be the last."