[OOC: *cough* lowkey shipping *cough cough cough* ]

Since he couldn't be comfortable, he would be as comfortable for the fox as he could be. Kydobi would shift against him, scooting till Lynn was safely cocooned inside the soft down of his chest.

He would listen, a heavy feeling in his heart as his dear friend continued on.

"Lynn.." he would then pause and sighed, there was nothing he could do to stop it. Nothing. He didn't know what else to say when his the fox spoke of their eggs. That he had no clue of. It never occurred to the jaguar that Lynn had children. With who? And for some reason, beyond himself, he was disappointed. An opportunity lost. But there was sorrow in his partner that even the stoic cat felt to his core.

It gave him a sense of hopelessness. That there would be no way out but blood.

"Just don't die in the process Lynn.", for him the dragon had lived forever and would continue doing so, but in this fox form Kydobi wasn't so sure. He closed his eyes, tail twitching in nervousness and heart fluttered briefly as he allowed there noses to meet.

"I will do my best to protect those children. But maybe that won't be necessary. There is other ways to take his head despite war.", if it took keeping them safe it would be him to do it then, "Subtle. Subtle Lynn. We don't always have to go big and meet Jervis at his game."

The cat side, and met the silver canine's glance and smiled, "You aren't the only one who has a duty to protect what's theirs. Besides," he moved his left paw over the fox and would pull him closer if allowed, "you are far from a villain. You have good reasons to do bad things. But don't let it be at the expense of yourself."

He allowed his eyes to close and he sighed, "You and Ramona are the only people I've bothered to get to know. Besides we always seem to find moments of peace and happiness together. Be a shame if I lost that."

[OOC: haha! tbh i've been thinking about it for a cool minute I just never thought I would see it blossom XD and as much as I would love to make this easy it isn't going to be. Kydobi is scared of love. ]


He hadn't been touched in this way since... Since he was a cub. It was nice to feel the pressure and warmth of another. It was very very nice, so nice that a deep purr rolled in the back of his throat.

His tail would wrap around the fox's paws. It brought peace to him to know that he could not lose his cherished friend.

"It is a bittersweet thing I guess. You always have a chance to get it right.", he sighed opening his eyes to look at them. Noting the metallic theme, gold and silver. A treasure. "But what if it isn't unlimited? What if... This is your last life. You wasted it on the likes of Jervis. Who is most likely not like you and your family. When he dies he is dead.."
Right?

Huffing the cat would lose a little more tension as he licked between the plush ears, his tongue grooming the fur of their forehead. Chances were he won't be in the embrace of someone for a long time. And so he would try to enjoy it. While he cleaned their fur, his mind was focused on their words.

He would stop though and speak, "I'd hate to do it. But I would if it keeps you safe. And Ramona. And all the children..", he cleared his throat, "I would take care of Jervis. He wouldn't expect it. I've kissed his ring so much at this point that he probably thinks I'm a loyal servant."

A stern gaze would turn to the horizon, "And... Perhaps I could lead the Pitt, make an alliance with you and yours, change the ways, a new leaf. Or, we could conjoin the two groups and we can share prey. The jungle is so abundant, too abundant. The people there may or may not take for granted the prey." Kydobi cleared his throat, he had never ever genuinely discussed treason or the murder of Jervis. As said before he always considered it the fox's own doing or by someone else's. He had never ever killed someone either. Ever.

Thankfully Lynn said something that would redirect his attention onto him. Ears would perk and eyes would widen in a mixture of emotions. Pleasure. Relief. Lust. Excitement. But most of all he felt fear. His body tensed all over again.

"Yes..Uh.", but Lynn wasn't good for him, it wasn't that there was anything wrong with them. Kydobi felt they were wonderful, amazing even. But there was always this deeply rooted phobia of betrayal and hurt.

"I feel the same way.", well did he? Or was he being nice?

"But... I'm no good. I promise you that.", really the cat was protecting himself, he didn't want to put himself in a relationship. Purely physical, sure, but he had a feeling that the fox wanted something more...fulfilling and Kydobi knew he was incapable of giving them that.

His heart was pounding and some would want to flee. Escape this stress. But he was frozen, even his tail didn't move.

"Oh!", he gave a breathless 'ha', "I think I completely misread that." he meant their words. He was trying to make it anything but what he had initially thought it was.

[OOC: ]


He had messed up. That was something he was becoming more and more sure of by the second. He needed to let them know that it really wasn’t them. That it was Kydobi. That the feelings were painfully mutual now brought to light. His mind kept wondering what they could be. What ifs and all that. That hurt the most.
Kydobi watched them carefully, he knew exactly what was happening. He did it so often, every day. Adding another layer to the shell. He needed to fix this, because he feared things would not be the same as they were before. Not that they could ever be, now that he knew that they both were attracted to each other he would forever see Bai Shi in a different light.

“Lynn. It’s not fine. Don’t pretend you aren’t hurt. This is hard for me. I swear on everything it isn’t you. I know that line is overused by people who are often not satisfied- but I mean it.”, a lump was forming in his throat and his mouth was awfully dry. He was going to finally open his book and turn so many pages for them, something he had never done before, “I… I find you very attractive. In both of your forms. You’re beautiful and amazing and so unique. Our conversations are of the highest quality and you give me peace. You make me feel… safe and whole. But when I said to you that I thought I was broken I meant it. I want to give you what you need. I do… I think I’m changing, back in my older days I wouldn’t have bothered with Ramona. I wouldn’t have even came to comfort you, I would’ve walked away. Because I lacked empathy. Compassion. I wouldn’t even be acknowledging that I want you too. Because I was a skeptic for so long, now I’m just a curious and fearful boy. I’m scared of love and relationships.”

He would swallow the lump and stare at the flowers, it was easier to confess without eye contact, ”I want to feel what everyone talks about. What love is. What romance is. But I don’t know how. I’m scared I can’t… love you or anyone for that matter… cause the people who I did and the people who should’ve taught me of it casted me away and betrayed me. Both of my parents. My family. Family is the first people we love… And they…” he closed his eyes in a slight wince, he wasn’t ready to talk of that to anyone or himself, a gentle shake of his head as if to wash away the memories, ”I don’t want to be hurt. Last time I fully trusted someone and loved them…opened my heart to them… They broke me. All of them. And now, even now, I pretend nothing hurts me. I act like I don’t care when I really do. Because it is easier to pretend you feel nothing and remain stoic because eventually you make everything so small that they can’t hurt you anymore. You fake it till you make it. And I’ve been doing that so long- my brain has ruled my heart since I was 11 months old.. That it doesn’t know how to loosen its grip.”

His voice lowered, ” Because emotions do nothing but hurt. Even happiness is bittersweet, because in its absence you think back on what you had and feel.. hollow. And I know I’m always going to look back on this moment and regret, think of what we could be. But then there will be times where I look back in relief, I protected myself again.”

[OOC: ]

He watched them get up, shifting himself to lay on his stomach returning to his standard posture. A sorrowful but humorous smile painted on his face, "Well aren't we a hopeless bunch."

It was such a relief to hear them promise things will return to normal in time. He had so few friends as it was. It was a wonderful thing to look forward to. But a sensitive thing, so easily it could be ruined. How many times would they look at each other and remember this day? How many times until they both let it go?

"And I will always be a faithful friend as well.", he watched them pick up the fallen flowers so gently. With such care for something inanimate. How could you show such affection for someone that was not even here anymore? Kydobi could never understand that. But perhaps with time, if he keeps changing like Lynn acknowledged, he would.

"Would you like some help?"

[OOC: I think Kydobi still needs to be sexually awakened? Like I think he is gonna have a couple flings that are purely physical and very short lived, he may even have a couple polyamorous/gamous relationships before he feels ready for Lynn (although I hope Lynn is his last if that's cool with you.) also! I plan on having someone killing Kydobi so he can come back to life, discovering his reincarnation power and his fire elementals along with it]

Oh right, there was more to this world than what we felt. More pressing matters than our emotions, it was something he would remind himself of everyday. The fact that he forgot it embarrassed him a little, "Of course, my bad."

He would return to his normal self, sweeping the previous conversation under the rug at the back of his mind.  He would tilt his chin up on the right side, his left face pointing downwards in the thinking fashion so common to him.

"May I ask exactly why and where you all will be moving?", he knew that they wouldn't leave him in the dark.