[shadow=darkblue,right]KILLUA[/shadow]

Killua had never been afraid of the thought of him getting captured by an enemy once he was let out into the world to complete jobs for his family. With the attitude that he carried with himself when he was younger, he didn't really care what others would try to do. The assassin had such confidence in his skill, and his older brother told him that he could easily take on any sort of opponent that he came across as long as he was able to outsmart them quickly enough. Either way, he had been trained to make sure that if he was ever captured that he wouldn't give out any sort of information about himself or even the family for that matter. The Zoldyck family had plenty of secrets that they liked to keep for themselves without telling anyone. Thanks to his curious mind, he was able to unveil those secrets bit by bit and now had confidental information on the Zoldyck family. Meaning that if he was ever going to get captured and was close to giving out information, his family would probably step into action. Although there was little that the creatures could do with the information that was given to them as most creatures were weaker than most Zoldyck members in the first place. Going through torture after torture, Killua thought htat if he was ever captured and torture he would grow quite bored, waiting for a moment to where he would be able to get himself out of the terrible situation. If they planned on killing him, they would probably let go of the weakness act and simply just tear them to pieces. At least that's what he would have done back in the day. The Zoldyck didn't work on the premise that if they were captured and milk for information, that they would have to figure out a way to kill themselves. That was counterproductive out of consideration that they would have to get another family member and train them all over again to replace the one that they ended up losing. They were precious to the rest of the family, and if they were going to send out a rescue mission it would mean that there would only be one other Zoldyck to take care of it. Besides, they had confidence in their own skills so that they most likely wouldn't need rescue, as trying to contact a family member that could be a continent away wasn't exactly the easiest thing to do if someone was being held in a cell. All of them had specific powers that made it easier to communicate, but with how stubborn each family member was, they weren't about to ask for help unless they were in extreme danger. Killua had no idea if any of his family members ended up getting themselves captured. He knew that he shouldn't even consider his family to be family. Other clanners would say that they had no right to be his family after the horrid things they ended up doing to him. But, they were still his family. He would be slightly upset if his grandfather and father suddenly died because he did enjoy their company to a degree. The same with Kalluto, as he was his older brother and was supposed to be the one to protect him as well. They were still technically his family even if they did get on his nerves over and over again. He was a killer though, and there was probably no taking that off of his track record. There would always be blood on his paws. There would always be flesh that he had carved into whether or not the animals realized it or not behind the facade that he constantly had on his fact. Yet, he was trying his best to wash away the past that clung to his back for a majority of his life. Hoping that maybe, just maybe, he could actually end up starting over with how he wanted his life to be instead of the outline that his parents ended coming up with when he was just a kitten.

Because he was a killer though, he did have a killer mentality. No matter what a creature said about themselves in the world that they were in, the Zoldyck believed that he could kill it. Even if they had nothing but armor surrounding their body, nothing was every perfect. There were chinks in anyone's armor that anyone could exploit if they were given enough time to do a trial and error and see if their attacks did anything. Most creatures took Killua at face value instead of looking past of what was actually there. They thought that he was just a kid, capable of not knowing what he wanted in his life. Which was partly true. He didn't have a distinct goal in his life of what he wanted to do. He knew what he didn't want to do though. He didn't want to inherit the family business. He didn't want to be an assassin anymore. He didn't want to go back to that damned castle anymore. It was suffocating. Yet when he did finally reveal what he was capable of, other immediately became afraid of him. And yet they had wondered why they hadn't revealed to them sooner. What did they think was going to happen? No one could possibly the know the name of the Zoldyck member unless they did some serious digging. Most documents that concerned the family were usually destroyed before the information could even be linked in the end. Which had confused Killua the most as to how the female had even knew his name in the first place. Just knowing a Zoldyck's name certainly had power, but it could also bring a danger to those that knew the name. If they were going to be hunted down for the knowing too much information, the Zoldyck's would be the one to deliver the final blow. He wasn't currently concerned about the other's well being though, and instead of the well being of his own. Had the other known he was going to visit the clans and made sure that she had been the only one to approach him before anyone else could? Did she have a power that he didn't know about that could have activated as soon as he started talking to her. There was also the factor that she could have used a mental power on him without him noticing and shifted through his memory. No. That was impossible. He always made sure that he had a strong mental barrier, and he always felt it when someone tried to mess with his memories. There was no way she could get passed a mental barrier as strong as his. But what if he could? Killua often thought of the worst case scenario in these situations. He couldn't even recognize her. It sparked nothing in his mind when he looked at the canine. He was only confused as to how this could have possibly happened. But did the other think that he was still an assassin still? If her information was outdated, that could definitely be a factor in this situation. Which would put him in more trouble because if she started to tell others what he was, which he wasn't anymore, then they would want to have his head on a stake. Killua's eyes had been darting around the entire that they were in the short span of silence. As if looking for answers, deep in thought as he tried to dwell into the back of his mind. And that's when the headache began again, his brow furrowing through the pain, but he kept his body language the same that it had been. He didn't lose sight of Argus though and watched as the female actually sat herself down. Wait. What? Why was she sitting down? Sitting down would mean that she would have a hard time reacting to an attack because she wouldn't be standing up. It was showing weakness. It made Killua clench his jaw thinking that the other was trying to bait him into the thought that everything was going to be fine. There was no longer any sort of trust in his eyes. The assassin flexed his claws in the gravel, trying to calm his breathing. The whispers in the back of his head began to increase in intensity. Illumi couldn't have Killua know information that he wasn't supposed to know. The memories that he had taken from him.

Then Argus started to speak again, and when she did it caused Killua to physically flinch at her words. His eyes widened, in what seemed like a mixture of horror and shock. A child? Had he killed her child? No that was impossible. He hadn't taken a job to kill a child in a very long time. But that could honestly mean anything. Everyone was technically a child always to a parent no matter what age they were at. He didn't kill kittens. Those that were around his age were free game in his mind because he envied them once he looked at them. But delivering the body to someone? He would have remembered that. Because he would have had to dress the scene and made sure that he got the correct location. Killua's turned to look at the ground as he shook his head, trying to get the headache to go away. "I... I killed your kid? No. I would have remembered. Who the hell are you?" Killua questioned, a growl at the last sentence. Although his tone seemed to be incredibly confused on the first sentence. Killua raised one of his white paws and put it to one side of his face, applying pressure as the other continued to speak. Gunstar? Who the hell was that? He had never heard of such a name. He also didn't have a mentor. There had to be a lie in her story, but then again why would she lie to him? Unless she was trying to trick him waiting for others to appearing. His eyes narrowed into a glare and his lips curled in a defensive snarl. "Bullshit. I've never had a mentor. Why would Riverclan care? I killed their leader. You're making stuff up." Killua hissed toward the canine as he removed his paw from his face. His shortened tail was lashing behind him. What if she was right though? Then why couldn't he remember that name? Names were the easiest for the likes of him to remember. Sure there was a chance that he would end up pronouncing them wrong.

Kill her.
A very familiar voice finally spoke inside of his head. Causing Killua's body to go rigid. There was a point that his body seemed to relax, the muscles in his shoulders tightening as his eyes seemed to go deeper and deeper to a color, almost black as he looked at Argus. The voice, of course, was his brother. The other Zoldyck being capable of manipulating the emotions and movements of the other to a certain degree. To drive Killua in the right direction. At this moment, this was bad for Illumi. Not only because he knew that it would cause a lot of problems for Killua's mental health, but also because it would mean that Killua would learn the truth of why some faces looked familiar to him time and time again. Besides, it seemed this canine seemed to know a little bit too much and would be better disposed of instead of keeping her alive. The longer she was alive, the higher potential that she could reveal more information that she shouldn't possibly know. As soon as Killua blinked though, his eyes returned practically to normal. Raising one of his paws he sank his claws into his left paw, a snarl ripping through his throat. "Shut up!" Killua shouted, mostly to himself. His brother had to be around for him to finally raise his voice like that. Right? He was losing it. There was no way someone could manipulate his memories. He would have noticed. Something. Anything! Blood from the injury on his paw leaked on the graveled ground below as he panted. What the hell was going on?!

snowbound -- apprentice -- male -- 8 moons

[shadow=darkblue,right]KILLUA[/shadow]

Muscle memory was both a curse and a savior when it came to the assassin. There were times where his mind wouldn't be able to react quick enough to someone that was getting close to him. Someone that had a secret intent to try and kill him where he stood. He was only a child, after all, one that should be easy to take out once given the correct opening in the end. He had watched as the other drew his knife, and he was in shock for a couple of moments because the other wasn't his target in the first place. He was just some random guy that had tried to get close to Killua by having a simple conversation while he was in a strange area that he didn't really know about. It didn't matter though, as the assassin's reactions had been far too quick for the other to be able to compensate for, and he was left in that alley with a slit throat, no scream or any other sounds of a struggle coming from that area again. However, there were several instances where Killua wished that his body didn't react the way that it liked to. That didn't react to think that everything that was coming toward him had been a threat. Which had been the issue with the previous clan that he had come from with his adopted sister. Amorette had been one to be extremely affectionate, but it was rare for them to physically touch. To Killua... any form of physical contact simply felt wrong to him. He wasn't sure why it felt like it felt weird, maybe because he wasn't used to it and his body was only used to different levels of pain instead of other levels of comfort. The assassin having never really hugged someone before out of the fear that his body would end up reacting on his own and perceive the creature that he was hugging as a threat. Someone could end up hurt. Or dead. He couldn't have that happen, especially since he knew that he was already a threat to his sister even if she didn't see him as one. He was a dangerous creature, people knew when to keep their distance from the likes of him. Whether it was because of the vibe that he gave off, or the simple way that he held himself when regarding others. It didn't matter. Killua didn't even know what it really meant to hug someone. Was it an action that was used to try and beg for forgiveness? He knew that with a hug it would make it extremely easy for one creature to try and kill the other without any hesitation. The neck would be too close to bite into, and if the other wrapped their arms around the other's neck tight enough they could snap it with enough strength. Not difficult. One could conjure something above each of them, only to let go once the massive object could crush the one that they wanted to kill in the end. The thought would always put Killua on edge, not like he would ever get to experience something like that again anyway. The former deputy didn't want to worry about physical interactions all that much. It wasn't a huge issue not to want to physically interact with others that were in the clan as he could just say that he enjoyed his personal space and that he didn't actually know what it was like to be physically close to someone.

He was still young. He was sure given enough time without his family getting involved with the rest of his life that he might have a chance to know what it would be like to care for more than one person. He had to admit that when he started to feel close to Amorette, he almost became obsessed with her safety. Constantly checking up on her with his powers and making sure that everything went her way. He had to redeem himself in some way for the actions that he had done, and he might as well dedicate some of his time to his adopted sister because she had obviously been through a hard time before joining the clans like he had done. The only time he considered it fine to be close to others would be during a spar. Something that he hadn't been able to do in Snowbound at the moment because he was too busy going to different places to figure out where everyone stood morally. This way he knew who to avoid and who to stick around with. Of course, Killua won every spar that he had offered in the clans, at least to his knowledge. The one male that had ended up getting pissed off at Killua when he had dropped a book on the other's head had been one to accept one of his spars. Killua had nearly torn the other's tail off with his strength and kicked the other into the dust. It wasn't exactly much of a fight in Killua's eyes, but at least the other would figure out not to mess with him like that again. Killua knew that he would always be a fighter. He enjoyed being able to tussle with other animals, but this time when he fought others, he didn't want to have to come to the decision of whether or not he should kill them. Instead, the default should just be that he should just leave them alone after that. Everyone in Snowbound was bound to think that killing was bad, and would probably become incredibly paranoid if he ever revealed the entire group what he was. He would have to hold off on that information for at least a couple months if he stayed in this group of clans for the time being. Killua's attention had been on Argus practically the entire time that the other had said his name. The assassin's paw didn't even remotely hurt as blood dripped down onto the ground. He didn't feel any sort of pain, and a wound that small would probably heal and clot in the matter of the next coming hours. It wasn't exactly small in clan terms, but the wound was small at least to him as he had a lot worse. He noticed the other's look at him, but he wasn't afraid of her. Why should he be? He had seen that look in plenty of the creatures that he had been tasked to kill. Killua had moved himself up into a standing position now, ready to move at a moments notice. Until the other started to breathe, obviously smelling the blood that was coming from him, and she seemed to return to normal. The next thing nearly set him over the edge. That nickname. She had called him by that retched nickname. The nickname that only his family had called him. Did this mean that she had actually been in contact with his older brother and Illumi did nothing to her? Or had she been tasked with something so that she could get close to his younger brother? There were too many questions that were going to be left unanswered, and Killua simply commented on the other's statement with a growl of his own. "Don't call me that." Killua warned the other, his voice obviously threatening and serious. Although his voice did shake a little bit when he talked despite how confident he was making himself look right now.

That was the nickname only his family had called him. Sure it wasn't a nickname that was hard to make up since his name was already short in the first place, but the female didn't know him on a personal level, so automatically calling him by a nickname was suspicious. Trying to keep the look of shock to a minimum. If the other had been hired by his brother, then he was in a lot worse of a situation than he could have really thought. The albino serval knew that his brother would most likely only hire someone that was at least the same strength as he was. Which meant, that he wouldn't be able to win a fight against Argus if that was the case. His sapphire blue optics narrowed at the other trying to dig information from him. It not like mattered. She obviously either knew of just him or the entirety of the Zoldyck family. Which was his major concern right now, especially if she told the rest of her group that it would be a good idea to hunt the likes of him down. "Crypticsoul. That was her name. And I couldn't give two shits I was sent out on a job and that's was needed" Killua growled toward the female, obviously resorting back to his usual aggressive nature when it came to talking to her. Even if others tracked him back to the murder, it would mean nothing because it happened a long time ago. At least a long time ago in Killua's mind. As soon as Argus decided to finally stand up, Killua sunk his metal claws further into the dirt ground. He didn't move from his spot though, letting the other move close. He could work with this. The distance that she was at would give him enough time to react if he had to move quickly enough. He just wanted answers. Killua would have been more annoyed by the fact that the female decided she didn't want to reveal her name to him. Which was a good tactic despite that, but he could probably ask other creatures in the area who she was and have that be the end of that instead of trying to dig information directly out of her. However, as the other explained the story as to how she was connected to him, it made no sense to Killua. Gunstar. A name he had never heard before Kanato. Another name that he couldn't possibly remember. He hadn't been the one to kill the other though and had simply delivered him. At least that was the sound of what her story told him. Killua had at least that positive going around, even if it wasn't a positive for the mother that had decided to lose her child. The other was drawing a bit closer to his liking with the way she continued to walk toward him. Giving ground would show her weakness, however, and he stayed where she was at until she finished her story. Should he believe her or not? She sounded like her story was correct, as she went into detail about the other's name that would be hard to memorize all of the last names that someone would end up having. Killua clenched his jaws, and he was obviously unnerved by the entire situation. He indeed had killed many, but he would have remembered someone being tortured as that had been something he did when he was just a kitten. "I-I should remember. I wouldn't... have forgotten that." His voice sounded strange as he tried to do more digging in the back of his head and just got nothing more than static. A troubled look spread across his facial features as he was looking Argus's direction, but he wasn't specifically looking at her anymore. He was looking past her.

Don't fight an opponent you can't win against

The voice echoed in his head, and suddenly Killua's semi-confident demeanor immediately changed. Illumi was trying to tell him something. Did he actually end up hiring the canine to try and take him back home? Illumi was usually too vague anyway to try and give him answers. Could he win a fight? What if she was stronger than he was? He had no memory of ever fighting the likes of her anyway. The assassin had been raised to fear those that were stronger than him, which was why the fear that ran through his body was so prevalent when it came to dealing with his older brother. Illumi was far stronger than anyone he could ever face up against, and Killua was never afraid of clanners either. When Argus took her last step, Killua actually ended up taking a step backward. It felt as if there was a massive weight on his chest, and his heart rate increased. Forcing him to breathe heavier so that he could supply his body with oxygen. Anxiety. Fear was all prevalent in his eyes. Illumi had come up with a better plan this time. Sure Argus had managed to tell her part of the story, but if he couldn't make his younger brother try to kill the female, he could at least make him afraid of her and get him out of there. The corners of his vision were almost starting to black themselves in fear as his paws started to tremble. Where had this fear come from?! What was happening? He wasn't controlling his emotions there had to be something else. There HAD to be. Killua would have usually cracked a joke at the other's statement of him living long. The assassin took another silent step back to get a little bit more distance between him and Argus. Just a little bit more. He was suffocating on his own anxiety. "I'm not weak... like these groups," Killua growled through clenched teeth, but he was obviously struggling to speak now. Run. Run. Run. The muscles in his legs tensed up as if he had been about to turn and run after that sentence. However, he was able to steady himself. For the moment anyway. "Why the hell should I tell you?" Killua spat out the words this time as if they had a nasty taste that had been sitting on his tongue. If he wasn't being controlled by his brother right now, he wouldn't be confused, but with the way the voice was acting in his head, it was making him think that he stood no chance against Argus in a full-on fight. It was causing him to panic, and he was about to simply follow what his brother wanted.

snowbound -- apprentice -- male -- 8 moons