//OOC

Another depressed cat in her life? Gamelia tried to laugh, but it broke and fell short. "No, she was a ray of sunshine in my life. She's... not here anymore." Her voice was suddenly much quieter. She shouldn't be talking about this here. It wouldn't be right to turn the conversation to herself. That wasn't how this worked.

Taking a deep breath to force back the tightness in her throat, she murmured, "Don't worry about it. It was a long time ago. You just... look like her. That's all." That was what the dream was about. How could she have forgotten so easily? The tightness in her throat persisted. She didn't want to cry here. It wouldn't be fair to Diya.

But... how could she have forgotten her so easily? How could she betray her like that? Her... A sense of horror began to dawn inside of her. Her name. Had she forgotten her name? No- she couldn't. How could she? How could she?

Gamelia refused to look at Diya, keeping her face pressed into the sand. With a quiet, wavering voice she asked, "Do you sleep on the beach every night? Why haven't you chosen a home here?"

//OOC

When Diya pressed herself into her, Gamelia seemed to melt into the touch, shoulders sagging. She shouldn't say anything. This wasn't about her. This wasn't about her. This was for Diya, not her.

But when her own words were thrown back at her, she broke. You're allowed to cry, you know? With each second that she thought about it, the worse she felt. Her own tears began to fall, and a low whining sob brought her to cover her face, but she didn't say anything until the other had finished.

"I loved her," she cried. "I loved her so- I loved her so much." Gamelia hiccuped, pausing. "She was a-all I had. And I..." How long had it been since she had thought about her? Despite everything she had done for her? "I can't even... I..." Shaking her head, she pressed her face further into the sand.

She wanted to disappear. She was ungrateful and undeserving. Her voice fell to a cracked whisper. "I can't even remember her name. I didn't deserve her love. How could I have forgotten her so easily? I'm a horrible monster." Shut up, shut up. She was being an attention whore. Shut up. Why would she want to know someone like me? Gamelia shook her head again. "I'm sorry, I..." trailing off, she bit her tongue.

//OOC

Her sobs had been forcibly silenced, but she could do nothing against the hiccups or gentle shaking of her body. The hug eased her internal pain, but she did not return the motion, instead continuing to stare at her hands. Part of her desperately wanted to keep venting or crying or sharing, but she needed to stop. The topic had to return to Diya. Gamelia had wrongfully interrupted her.

Names don't define who you are.

If only she felt the same way. It- she understood what she was trying to say. She appreciated the efforts. However, if her mind told her she was going to feel this way, well, what could she do?

Her mouth was moving almost on its own. "How could I ever say I truly loved her if I can't remember something as basic as her name?" she murmured. The dragon slowly shook her head. Perhaps she wasn't a true monster, but she was despicable nonetheless.

Swallowing hard, she rubbed at her eyes with the back of her hand. "I appreciate it, Diya, I do, but to forget her so easily is an insult to her and all she did for me." Undeserving. She had never truly felt that she had deserved her and her love, even all the way back then. Perhaps she just didn't deserve love.

"I'm sorry, Diya," she apologized quietly, "Don't worry about it." Change the topic. "I'm here for you, it shouldn't be the other way around." Nudging her head out from underneath the sheet, Gamelia looked up the sloping beach. "You shouldn't be sleeping out here. You'll catch a cold. Do you want to spend the night at my home? I have a spot you can stay."