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+----- Thread: Atbash's August CDC Tracker (/showthread.php?tid=4325)
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Atbash's August CDC Tracker - ATBASH CIPHER. - 08-01-2018
yo yo i'll be keeping Atbash's prompts here!
1. Loyalty - LINK
2. Hurt - LINK
3. Where is your character's favorite place to be? - LINK
4. What does your character fear most? - LINK
5. Fear - LINK
6. What's the worst thing your character can do to somebody they care about? - LINK
7. Memories - LINK
8. Alone - LINK
9. Change - LINK
10. Love - LINK
11. What does your character want most in the world? - LINK
12. What is your character afraid others see in them? - LINK
13. Stars - LINK
14. What was your character's childhood like? - LINK
15. Who/What type of person does your character go to when hurt? - LINK
16. How does your character feel about their appearance? - LINK
17. Blood - LINK
18. Discovery - LINK
19. Burning - LINK
20. Distance - LINK TBA
21. Label - LINK TBA
22. Your character is forced to make a decision that don't want to choose - LINK TBA
23. Unique - LINK TBA
24. How does your character keep themselves motivated? - LINK TBA
25. Hatred - LINK TBA
26. Lead - LINK TBA
27. Frost - LINK TBA
28. Who does your character want to protect the most? - LINK TBA
29. Why is your character still in Snowbound? - LINK TBA
30. Restart - LINK TBA
31. How does your character bond with people? - LINK TBA
Re: Atbash's August CDC Tracker - ATBASH CIPHER. - 08-01-2018
Loyalty
Loyalty was a bit of a touchy subject for Atbash, believe it or not. The she-cat had always believed in loyalty and believed it was the most important thing to have, but after her brother started to betray the family, she started to lose that belief. Atbash had always been loyal to her family as a whole, as well as the King (despite not knowing him). It was obvious: remain loyal to the King and your System and everything would be fine. And yet Caesar did not seem to grasp that concept - at least not in the sense to the King. By now, the rumor of Caesar being this all-powerful being that would rip a Dimension to shreds had spread throughout the Dimension and everybody was avoiding the Cipher System. Atbash didn't particularly mind too much, considering she wasn't used to being noticed anyway, due to being a female in the Seventh Tier. Caesar, however, was clearly upset and Atbash couldn't bring herself to sway her trust in him.
However, after they got exiled, Atbash couldn't help but feel betrayed by her brother's actions. He committed treason, he was lucky they weren't outright killed. Despite what it may seem, Atbash still believed the King had a right to do what he did, despite Caesar's preaching. Atbash believed what her brother did was outright wrong and wanted to stop trusting him, but she couldn't. He was family. Family was supposed to be loyal and be there for one another, but Atbash couldn't help but feel hurt and betrayed by what happened. No matter how many times Atbash wanted to confront Caesar and tell him he was being ridiculous, she couldn't. Was she afraid of him? A little bit, but she was mostly afraid of losing his trust and loyalty. Being a female meant a lot of things could go wrong and she needed somebody to protect her, and although Vigenere had training, he had a tendency to sneak off to see his girlfriend often.
Atbash was shocked whenever she started to hear what Caesar was planning, and if Vigenere hadn't agreed to the plan at first, she wouldn't have, either. But the eldest brother wanted revenge against the King's Guard, which was understandable, she supposed; they did kick him out rather unfairly. After all, how was he supposed to know of Caesar's plan to attack the Shaman? He couldn't, but the Guard refused to believe him and cast him out with the rest of his System. That was another reason to hate and distrust Caesar, and yet Atbash still couldn't find herself doing so. So she started plotting with her brothers, despite all signs pointing in bad directions at this. If both of her brothers were down with murdering the King, then... so would she. She almost felt like she had to.
But then one day Vigenere came up to her and started explaining that they could return to normal, albeit without Caesar. His girlfriend was the Princess, so of course she had convinced the King to let them return to the Seventh Tier. It was reasonable that Caesar could not return, considering how much of a threat he was, and Atbash felt relieved hearing this news. She practically almost cried the day Vigenere told her that, overwhelmingly happy that they had a chance at going back home. But of course once Caesar heard that news, he was absolutely pissed. The youngest sibling had started to claim they were betraying him, and Vigenere shot back how he should be happy for them being able to have a chance to be normal again. And Atbash believed Vigenere's words, but at the same time, she felt sorry for Caesar. After all, it was only a couple of days before they started the plan, and his biggest supporters were pulling out of the plan just as it was about to happen. But nothing could change how horrible Caesar's plan was.
Even after the event happened and they escaped the Dimension, Caesar still spouted about how they betrayed him, not the other way around. Vigenere had less injuries than her, and was the one to snap back at him, but even if she hadn't gotten a lot of wounds, Atbash wasn't sure if she could talk to Caesar again. Everything he did to her hurt, and not just physically. Atbash felt horrified by her youngest brother's actions, and in fact, she wanted to throw up over it. What he did was just not right, even if their Dimension's society was horrible. It was still their home, they had been born and raised there. And yet Caesar still felt hatred towards the King and his Court over some silly rumor that at this point had come true, but Atbash was convinced that if he never snuck into the Court Meeting, Caesar would have never heard of this and this rumor would never have started, and everything would be normal.
So how did Atbash feel about loyalty, being on Earth and not stuck between Dimensions? It was still a finicky subject for her, and she was afraid to admit she was loyal to Snowbound. Mostly because she still felt loyalty towards her family, though it was mostly Vigenere rather than Caesar by now. Atbash was loyal to Snowbound of course; she couldn't be leader without being loyal to her tribe, but if she had to choose between him and Snowbound, she... would probably choose Vigenere. Family was always first. Snowbound was like a family to her, but blood relatives were stronger. Atbash loved everybody in Snowbound, and she was glad she was here and leading them. But nothing would change how she wanted to be with Vigenere and how loyal she was to him. Some would say she didn't have her own free will, and perhaps that is true: Atbash doesn't really know how to make decisions on her own, and perhaps that is because of Dimension FiveX with their corrupted views on women.
Atbash could never see people being loyal to her, considering how insecure she was over her leadership skills - or lack thereof, she supposed. And yet, here she was, leading Snowbound with people presumably loyal to her. After all, if they weren't loyal to her, why haven't they attempted to kill her yet? Sure, being a demon, actually dying wasn't possible, but without having possession or shapeshifting, she couldn't come back. Yeah, reincarnation was a thing, but she didn't want to live with wounds that killed her. Atbash found it almost funny that people were loyal to her. I'm a horrible leader. She always thought to herself. I barely know what I'm doing and rely on others' thoughts. And yet here she was, still going strong. It was funny, since Atbash would have never been able to reach this sort of power back home and the concept of people actually believing in her was insane. But nothing can change the present, so Atbash would have to get used to people actually listening to her, whether she believes she deserves it or not. She was their Hailcaller, after all.
Word Count: 1,203
Re: Atbash's August CDC Tracker - ATBASH CIPHER. - 08-03-2018
Hurt
It might seem crazy, but Atbash had dealt with hurt before, although it involved her family. Her biggest feeling of hurt resolved around Caesar and how he destroyed their Home Dimension. Caesar had been a good kid for the majority of their life, and Atbash felt hurt whenever he started to talk about his plans of burning the Dimension whenever a rumor started circulating throughout the Dimension. Atbash had been there for him whenever he got in his moods since Vigenere was doing whatever he was doing in the King's Guard, and she was always trying her best to calm Caesar down. And she thought what she was doing was working; she thought she convinced him that everything was fine, despite how poor they were and how they were treated in the Seventh Tier.
But she was wrong. Atbash had been horrified whenever Caesar was brought before the family in chains, with Vigenere following suit. Eventually the guards who escorted them home revealed that Caesar had attacked the Shaman, and that their System was Exiled. The guards escorted them to the Outlands, where Vigenere tried to confront them and beg for his position back in the King's Guard, but the two guards only laughed at him and claimed he could not due to being related to Caesar. They barely cast an eye at Atbash, but the she-cat felt a pang of sadness to see Vigenere so upset. He actually had a life in the King's Guard and a girlfriend that loved him very much, and all of that was taken away from him just because of Caesar.
Atbash's hurt didn't just stop there, though. Soon Caesar started plotting with the other Exiles about killing the King and his Court and she continued to feel hurt. Mostly because she tried to calm Caesar down and now her efforts seemed fruitless, almost like he was never listening to her in the first place. Just like everybody else in the Seventh Tier. Atbash thought Caesar was different, she thought he actually loved her as a sibling, but it seemed like he was just like everybody else in their former Tier: dismissive and only pretended to care. It hurt, feeling like she was being cast aside like that despite her attempts at being a sister. She tried so hard to make it seem like she cared about his feelings and understood, and him going forward with his plans only made it feel like her words were useless, that what she said were just something on paper that he could easily throw away. Atbash thought he had been listening, or was he just using her to get his trust?
And that hurt extended to the present days, too. Atbash thought she had gotten rid of Caesar when she traveled here with Vigenere, however her oldest brother decided to cast her aside too. Vigenere had claimed he needed time to think, and soon Atbash learned that he joined Tanglewood around the same time she joined Snowbound - about a month after he chased her off. That hurt, too, knowing he just chased her off to be away from her. At least, that's what it felt like. Atbash knew Vigenere hadn't truly meant anything by that and that he was stressed, but she could have been there for him like she had been there for Caesar. Or would he have dismissed her thoughts too?
Word Count: 566
Re: Atbash's August CDC Tracker - ATBASH CIPHER. - 08-03-2018
[b]Where Is Your Character's Favorite Place To Be?[b]
What a funny question. When Atbash was younger, she would probably have answered that she loved being with her mother, with much enthusiasm in her voice. She loved being near the other domestic she-cat, and loved how gentle her mother was. Her mother was an orange feline with dark grey eyes, although they weren't nearly as black as the rest of her families' eye color. Atbash, Caesar, Vigenere, and their father had near black eyes, but that didn't mean Atbash didn't like the way her mother's eyes looked any less. In fact, she found them pretty. But what did Atbash miss the most about being with her mother? Was when she was wrapped around Atbash and her two brothers, purring softly and humming a song for her children to sleep. Atbash fondly remembered the sound of her mother's voice and oh how she missed it, but that had been her favorite place to be for the longest time.
Even as Atbash grew up, she still enjoyed being by her mother's side. Although it was mostly because she had to, considering the treatment of females in the Seventh Tier. They were stay-at-home mothers and Atbash's mother was constantly talking to her about what it was like and what to do and what was proper. Being by her mother's side gave her a sense of security, a sense of relief. It distracted her from how lowly females were treated in the Tier she was born in, despite her mother's constant worries. Her mother's voice was too soft and soothing to be taken as a warning, but Atbash knew she was only telling her things to keep her safe. After all, she couldn't stay by her mother's side forever. Soon Atbash would be sold off to some male and forced to marry him. It was how the Dimension worked, it was how society was ran, and Atbash had to accept it.
After Caesar destroyed their home, Atbash found her favorite place to be was right with their eldest sibling, Vigenere. He was practically the head of the family now and he would actually protect her. Vigenere told that her himself; that he would make sure Caesar would never harm her again, and he took care of her whenever she was healing from her wounds. Vigenere was trained to fight and Atbash trusted him, and he slowly grew to become her favorite place to be. Wherever he was, she wanted to be with him. He became her sense of safety and security. But then he threw it all away; Vigenere soon chased Atbash off, much to her dismay and surprise. Vigenere growled at her and claimed he needed time alone to think and actually threatened her before she ran off towards Snowbound.
And then Snowbound became that place. Atbash knew she would like it here right after she joined, when she was greeted with amazing hospitality from Jacob, Izuku, and many of the other Snowbounders that have gone missing since the human attack. Cry was actually the first members of Snowbound to hear about her past; Atbash always felt a close connection with the raven and she sort of became Atbash's safety. But then she disappeared and Jacob replaced her until he abandoned his rank as Chief and left for The Typhoon. Izuku has since replaced Jacob, though Cry was right back in her original place. But unlike the other two instants above, Atbash liked Snowbound as a whole, not just one singular person. For once in her life she was happy.
Word Count: 590
Re: Atbash's August CDC Tracker - ATBASH CIPHER. - 08-05-2018
Fear / What Does Your Character Fear Most?
Oh, what a simple concept and a simple question these are. It wasn't hard to see that Atbash had been through a lot of things, and she was bound to have fears because of that. Perhaps some were justified and others? Not so much. It wasn't hard to guess that her biggest fear is Caesar, her brother, but what many people don't know is that Atbash has a fear of being rejected. The thought of being rejected as a leader was her biggest fear and what constantly plagued her thoughts, even though she didn't outright show it or brought it up. Being rejected as Snowbound's leader is a huge failure, even though Atbash was worried over nothing.
Atbash always had a sinking feeling that nobody liked her and was only listening to her words just because she was their Hailcaller. After all, she was raised into a society that constantly berated females and thought of them as property and not as a person. The she-cat couldn't help but feel the same way about Snowbound; what if they were only pretending to love her just because they had to deal with her for the time being? She was useless, a massive pacifist, and she couldn't fight. What kind of leader was like that? Atbash obviously, but what kind of successful leader was like her? She certainly couldn't think of any, and in fact, believed that Aizawa or Izuku deserved the honor of being Hailcaller in her place. After all, at least they had a drive to fight others when Atbash wallowed in self-pity during the whole Typhoon outbreak. What sort of leader did that?
It was pathetic - disgusting, even. Atbash should have been aware about Kirishima's capturing, but she instead choose to be in her den and cry about how weak she was for letting herself be beaten up by her brother. She should have gone with Izuku and Tsuyu when they went to rescue Kirishima, but then again, they hadn't exactly made that public, did they? Atbash still appreciated their bravery nonetheless though; they deserved the Blizzard title for doing what they did. But her? She barely even deserved the Snowflake title anymore. All she did was lay in her den and worry about Caesar showing up every moment of the day. And sure, she had gotten better at leaving her cabin, but that still didn't stop the fact that she was hiding herself away. All because of what, some fear?
Perhaps its was dumb that she feared her own damn sibling. But then again, what Caesar did was horrible and Atbash couldn't bring herself to forgive him. Sure, she still loved him dearly, but what he did to their Dimension - what he did to her, to their family - was inexcusable. Downright disgusting. Atbash had never believed the rumors that floated around the Dimension about Caesar's ability to destroy it, and yet that's exactly what he did, just as the Shaman pretended. Atbash had been utterly horrified. What kind of monster did that? But that wasn't the worst of it; Caesar almost looked proud of what he had done. Atbash scared him because he seemed to enjoy the chaos he created and he didn't care what it took to achieve those means.
Caesar would murder an entire Dimension just to be King, and Atbash was certainly at his mercy whenever he attacked. The first time he attacked, he held her underwater in an attempt to drown her. Atbash remembered the suffocating feeling of that, but nothing - nothing compared to the sound of your fur sizzling and smoke being so damn thick it practically burned your lungs. Atbash had a reason to fear fire like she did, and her brother was the case of that. Atbash had jumped through flames to try and save their parents, ending up burned in the process. But despite that, their parents refused to leave and Vigenere had to pull Atbash out of their collapsing den, right before it crushed their mother and father. Atbash barely remembered what happened after that, if she was honest. She didn't know if she wanted to.
The memories of their Home Dimension burning was what caused the fear of flames. Atbash remembered discovering the flames as a small spark, but thought nothing of it until they spread, covering the entire Dimension if Caesar had succeeded in killing the King. So she found Vigenere as fast as she could since he had gone off to confront Caesar, and he told her that Caesar did indeed succeed and they had to go find their parents. So Vigenere and Atbash had ran off, towards the outer reaches of the Dimension, only to find their den in flames. Atbash remembered the sound of the flames cackling as it ate at the wooden den, and how thick the smoke was. It suffocated her, made her choke, but she wasn't going to let her parents die. Without warning, Atbash had thrust herself into the den, burning her body in the process. Pain exploded over her as she felt the burns on her body, but what hurt the most was the fact that their parents refused to listen to her. They didn't want to be saved and claimed her life mattered more. Of course Atbash couldn't argue with them, because by the time she wanted to, their home was going to crash and burn - literally - and Vigenere pushed himself through the entryway and pulled Atbash out of then den, just before it crashed.
Some people say fear is a state of the mind, an illusion. Caesar was one of those people, but Atbash believed that fears are learned, they were taught. It was the reason why she feared fire, why she feared her own damn brother, and why she feared being rejected. She had been raised in a society that had always treated her gender like shit, so of course she would always be constantly second-guessing herself and looking for validation - but unfortunately being Hailcaller meant that you probably weren't going to get a lot of validation, since you were the highest rank you could be. That was why everybodies' opinion mattered to her so damn much; she was afraid of not being accepted as Snowbound's leader. Atbash learned to fear fire from nearly dying from it (albeit it was her own fault for jumping into the flames), and that's exactly what started the fear of Caesar. But him attacking her while on Earth only made that fear more, since it showed Caesar would do anything for fame and power.
Even if it meant hurting his own sister.
Word count: 1,113
Re: Atbash's August CDC Tracker - ATBASH CIPHER. - 08-06-2018
What's The Worst Thing Your Character Can Do To Somebody They Care About?
The worst thing Atbash could do to somebody was betray their trust. She had been through so much in her own damn life that she valued trust. She believed trust was different than loyalty and while both are earned, trust means a lot more than loyalty. You can trust somebody but not be loyalty them, and vice versa. Atbash always considered herself a caring person and she tried to relate to everybody as much as she could, and tried to handle things as quickly as possible. She didn't want to lose anybody's trust just because she knew what it was like. It would hurt, to know she betrayed somebody's trust and it hurt to betray somebody.
Which is why she never understood why Caesar was so damn willing to cause havoc. He knew that attacking the Shaman would cause distrust on him, if not the entire family. And it just so happened to be the latter, because in doing so, he forced Vigenere to be kicked out of the King's Guard. He ruined trust that Vigenere probably worked very hard for, and then when they were exiled... nobody trusted them. The Outcasts themselves were shady as fuck so Atbash didn't trust any of them, so she was glad they didn't stick around, but that didn't mean she wasn't hurt by Caesar's betrayal. If he had just accepted the rumor, then they wouldn't be stuck in the lowest Tiers of their Dimension and left to die. But Caesar just had to prove everybody wrong, didn't he?
Atbash's trust in him completely disappeared after he put their Dimension in flames. Although she loved him dearly, she had no trust in him anymore. She couldn't trust him. He clearly showed that he would do anything to anybody that got in his way of his goals, and that was somebody Atbash didn't want to associate with. She just couldn't, because she would be dragged down with him. So she and Vigenere refused to follow him and he ran off, and Atbash told herself that Vigenere was going to be the only one she'd ever trust. But soon that sibling cast her away and although that hurt, it definitely didn't hurt as much as Caesar's actions did. Atbash had long sense forgiven Vigenere, mostly because she seemed to genuinely regret chasing her off.
So if Atbash ever hurt somebody's trust here, she wasn't sure what she would do. Atbash knew what it was like to feel betrayed and she would never want somebody to feel that way. That was almost like being backstabbed and kicked in the ass, and Atbash would hate herself if she learned that she damaged somebody's trust in her. She would try her hardest to make that up, but she would understand if earning that trust back was hard. Because it was hard to earn trust somebody had broken, that was fact. People only had so much trust to give, and losing it was the worst thing Atbash could do to somebody she cared about. The worst thing.
Word Count: 510
Re: Atbash's August CDC Tracker - ATBASH CIPHER. - 08-07-2018
! Small trigger warning in the second paragraph for discussions of abuse and rape !
Memories
Atbash had a love-hate relationship with memories. Memories brought pain and suffering, but they also made who you are, and believe it or not, Atbash had fond memories. The worst ones always ended up coming back and haunting you, and they hurt. The fond ones hardly ever popped up, and usually are made in the present. Atbash liked remembering her fond memories - who didn't - but she felt the bad ones were kind of... necessary? They shaped your personality, your past, your feelings. So people who thought memories were always completely bad are wrong.
That isn't to say Atbash didn't have bad memories, because she did. That was evident in her past, with everything that went on. Hell, even before Caesar got their System exiled, things were rough for her in Dimension FiveX. Females were treated like scum, like their lives weren't even worth it. Granted, her father and brothers treated her better than any other male would in the Dimension so she was pretty much sheltered from what everyone else acted like, but her mother always told her stories whenever she went out to the market. Being female in Dimension FiveX was awful, and every time her mother left the den to the market. Her mother always said she had to be on the lookout for males because they would often attack her and other females, as well as forced them into things they did not want to do. Her mother often went with other girl friends, seeing as a group of females was better than risking your own life in the allyways of the marketplace. It was just the way their society was.
But at the same time, despite not experiencing and only having her mother's memories and words to rely onto, it shaped Atbash. Atbash was wary of others, especially men (although mostly older men), although she was getting past that now, living in Snowbound. But still, her paranoia stemmed from her memories of her mother's stories, thus shaping her personality and the way she acted. Being paranoid over something you didn't experience is horrible, and Atbash hated the feeling of being distrustful of men but she couldn't help it. It was just something that was taught, a memory she couldn't shake.
Hell, even memories of her brother's actions haunted her at night. Atbash still occasionally has nightmares on the nights that she sleeps, and it sucks being forced to relive memories you don't want. Atbash didn't want to remember the pride on Caesar's face as he watched their parents burn in front of them, she didn't want to remember his betrayal and the way he didn't seem to care anymore. These memories also shaped her and also made her paranoid, though mostly of The Typhoon and Caesar. Because of what he had done, she couldn't trust him anymore, she just couldn't, and he was only making the situation worse by still targeting her and attacking her. Atbash wanted to be stronger and she wanted to get past her fears, but because she had been taught to live in fear rather than face them, she couldn't find herself to face Caesar.
But not all memories are bad. Snowbound is the only place Atbash had fond memories of, despite being born and raised in Dimension FiveX. Atbash barely remembered living in the Dimension and Snowbound was much more of a home to her now than the place that she had been born at. Snowbound gave her happy memories. She remembered when she joined, how welcoming and happy Snowbound had seemed. She remembered placing a pawmark on the old cave system to mark her joining Snowbound and a new chapter in her life. She remembered fighting off the humans and protecting Snowbound as much as she could, and she remembered how warm and fuzzy this place made her feel. She was safe here.
These good memories also shape Atbash in a sense that Snowbound has taught her to be more open and less tense and wary of people. Atbash slowly opened up to her tribemates and she honestly would tell them her backstory if they asked, so long as she had met them prior to asking and was comfortable talking to them. Of course she wouldn't tell her lifestory to just anybody, but the fact that she found herself willing to talk about it was a good thing in her eyes. Snowbound had changed her for the better and she hoped that they will continue to give her good memories throughout her time here.
Word Count: 761
Re: Atbash's August CDC Tracker - ATBASH CIPHER. - 08-08-2018
Alone
Atbash had always had this sense of being alone in her mind, although joining Snowbound had changed that a lot. But back when her System had first been exiled, Atbash had her first feeling of loneliness. When they had first gotten exiled, her brothers refused to talk to each other and she kind of had to act like a mediator and messenger between them. It sucked, because she wanted her siblings to get along and instead she was alone and had to act like she hated the other. When in all reality, she didn't, she just wanted them to get along. She wanted everybody to be happy. And eventually, that came, but was once again shot whenever Vigenere learned that he and the rest of the family (besides Caesar) could return to normal.
After they escaped their burning Dimension, Vigenere had shooed off Caesar before their younger brother could beg them to go back to his side. Atbash appreciated Vigenere doing that, but she couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness as she watched their little brother run off somewhere with no idea where he would go. But at the time, she didn't care, mostly because of how much pain she was in due to the burns covering her body. She and Vigenere had eventually left towards Earth and they spend quite the majority of time together before he chased her off. Atbash absolutely didn't want to leave his side; not only because he was her source of protection. But he refused to listen to her pleas and threatened to attack her if she didn't leave, so she had to go off on her own and never look back.
So that's how Atbash found herself joining Snowbound, because she had nowhere else to go and no way of protecting herself. She was glad that Snowbound was so welcoming, but she still couldn't help but feel a prickle of loneliness being here. She wasn't with her siblings and she wanted to be around them, and no matter how much of a family Snowbound was, they couldn't replace actual blood-related siblings. That was just fact. Vigenere and Caesar meant so much to her, despite the latter being an absolutely dick and hurting her. Atbash felt herself wanting to be around them, even though she was happy here. Nothing could replace family.
But that didn't mean Atbash was unhappy here. She had a ton of friends, including Izuku and Cry. Both of them made her feel safer and protected, although not to the lengths that Vigenere provided. Despite that, Cry was able to calm her down and she felt a lot of feelings towards the avian. Atbash honestly didn't understand these feelings, but Cry made her feel all warm and happy inside and she almost didn't feel so alone anymore, but whenever Cry disappeared, it hurt. She wanted to be near Cry as much as she can, and she felt the same sort of loneliness as she did with her brothers whenever Cry wasn't around. Atbash couldn't explain why, but she did. She kind of wished she could ask Cry to be by her side all the time; she just... wasn't sure how.
Word Count: 532
Re: Atbash's August CDC Tracker - ATBASH CIPHER. - 08-09-2018
Change
Atbash had been through a lot of changes throughout her life, but the biggest one started whenever Caesar started to act up back home in Dimension FiveX. Whenever he attacked the Shaman and got their System exiled, that's when the biggest change in Atbash's life came into play. Their family was exiled and placed into the outer reaches of their Universe, along with the other Outcasts. There was nothing here, unlike when they were in the Seventh Tier. At least in the Seventh Tier, they had some food and a proper place to stay, but here with the Outcasts, they had nothing. The den was practically torn to shred and there was no soil to properly farm. Atbash had to get used to the life in the outer reaches of the Universe, and fast.
Just as Atbash was getting used to things, Vigenere had come to her and said that they had a chance of returning to normal. Him, she, and their parents would go back to the Seventh Tier, but not Caesar. Which was understandable; Caesar had attacked one of the most important people in their Universe. Females typically did not have any special titles or ranks, other than the Shaman and the Queen, but that wasn't the only reason why the Shaman was special; she could see into the future and predict things that will happen. It was likely that she predicted Caesar attacking her, which was why he was caught so damn easy. But that still didn't give him an excuse to even remotely try to attack her; hell, that should have stopped him! It made sense that Caesar would remain an Outcast, while the rest of the Cipher System returned to normal. Atbash had been so happy to hear that news, and she and Vigenere pulled out of their younger brother's plan of attacking the King and his Court.
Then Caesar destroyed their Home Dimension and they were all forced to find a new place to call home. She and Vigenere had come to Earth, completely unaware that their brother was here as well. Atbash had stayed with Vigenere for a while before he chased her off, prompting another change in her life. After a month of taking care of herself, Atbash found herself longing to be with her eldest brother again, but knew that he likely would not want her back. So she sought out Snowbound, whom accepted her with open arms. Not long after joining, Atbash participated in the Monthly Marking Ceremonies that had been done in Snowbound's old territory, which made her start to think that living in Snowbound was a new chapter in her life and that she could stop thinking about the past. Which, of course, was a hard thing to do, but she tried her best.
Then the humans started polluting their territory about a month after she joined. Prey was infected and could cause the members of Snowbound to grow sick if they were eaten, and their water source was poisoned. Jacob had decided that the tribe would stay in The Typhoon's territory until they could find a new place to stay, but Atbash had not gone to The Typhoon. By now, she had learned that Caesar was apart of the group and was, in fact, a high position there. Atbash had to live with her tribemates dying around her while there was nothing she could do but hope that Jacob found a solution and a new place to live. Luckily, that wish came true, but oh how Snowbound suffered during that time.
Not long after they moved into their new territory, Jacob had approached her and told her that he wanted to step down due to stress and wanted her to be Chief in his place. Of course, Atbash had accepted his offer, but mostly out of pity. She felt bad for Jacob and had no idea what stress he was going through, but oh how she learned quickly after he left and she was a couple days into leadership. Fortunately, Atbash had Izuku by her side, but it only helped so much to have one high position by her side. Eventually Aizawa returned and so did Cry, bringing friends with them. Snowbound was starting to flourish once more and Atbash was glad to see that they were starting to recover from what happened to them.
Word Count: 732
Re: Atbash's August CDC Tracker - ATBASH CIPHER. - 08-10-2018
Love
Love has two definitions: there is sibling love and there was the type of love you felt for somebody else; your significant other. Atbash had felt both of these feelings of love, although the former type was what she felt the most. Loving your siblings was much more different than loving a person completely unrelated to you. But both of them required you caring about them no matter what happened, even if you guys got into fights. Getting into fights and still loving them all the same shows how much you truly love and care of them, and sometimes those situations bonded everyone much closer than what they had been before. Atbash believed that sacrifices have to be made sometimes in love, but she wasn't entirely sure if she wanted to make sacrifices.
As mentioned above, loving your siblings is a lot more different than loving somebody unrelated to you. Atbash had always been close to her brothers, before Caesar had started to lose his mind. She was always by their side and loved and cared for them, ready to defend them at a moment's notice if she had to. Even when Vigenere had been Chosen by the King's Guard, Atbash remained by Caesar's side and supported him. She tried to prevent him from his thoughts of murdering the Shaman, but at the same time she also offered support. Perhaps that was a bad thing to do, because his words had no longer become a threat and he actually attempted to kill the Shaman, and that ultimately got him and his System exiled. Despite that, Atbash couldn't find herself hating or distrusting Caesar, unlike their older brother. Atbash acted as a mediator between them and offered support for both of them while they refused to talk to each other, and still stood by their side when they started to work together and conspire against attacking the King and his Court.
Atbash eventually pulled away from Caesar's plan as Vigenere told her that things could return to normal, and she instead stayed on Vigenere's side rather than Caesar's, prompting him to yell at them and call them traitors. Even so, Atbash still couldn't find herself hating the youngest child. And that fact still stood after he destroyed the Dimension and forced them out of their home. Sure, Atbash was distraught and upset at him, but she couldn't hate him. She just couldn't, because she loved and cared for him too much. Which eventually led to Vigenere chasing her off due to her continuing to think Caesar will stop his horrible thoughts and actions. As expected, Atbash still loved and cared for Vigenere despite being chased off by him. Not only did this allow her to join Snowbound, it allowed her to meet Cry.
At the time that Atbash had joined Snowbound, Cry appeared to have quite the reputation among the tribe for having a sharp tongue, but Atbash believed this was because the raven was misunderstood. So Atbash had sought Cry out and spoke to her, and they talked about their pasts. Atbash grew to respect Cry and sympathize with her, which slowly grew into a feeling of love. It was hard to describe, but Atbash felt a rush of emotions whenever she saw Cry. She felt happiness, she felt relief, she felt her heart race at the mere mention of Cry. Oh, how she wanted to admit her feelings to Cry, but she was afraid of being rejected and their friendship being ruined because of some stupid crush. Atbash valued her and Cry's friendship and she had a feeling that would change if Cry didn't share the same feelings as she did.
Then Dimitri had confessed his love to her, and Atbash felt bad when she had to admit that she wasn't into men. Perhaps she should have properly stated that during her pride month when she had been giving out flags, but she thought that was obvious whenever she had been handing them out. Then again, Dimitri hadn't been there, had he? It was one of his alters, though Atbash wasn't sure which one it was, and implied that he was pansexual. Of course, that didn't mean Dimitri was pansexual, it meant that the alter was, though Atbash had no idea of that at the time. Still, it felt bad to be the person rejecting another's love. It takes a lot for somebody to be able to confess how they feel, only to be shut down. And it definitely had to have been a slap on the wrist when Atbash admitted she liked women, not men at all. She had to friend-zone Dimitri and it sucked, and it only made her not want to admit her feelings to Cry even more. Atbash just hoped that her and Dimitri's friendship wasn't ruined because of love.
Word Count: 809