the woman of shadows and sorrows was laying out in the sun. pelt soaking in the heat despite the mild chill in the air. the little demonic vampiric hybrid was simply happy to be here. her sister was home. she felt closer to remembering. she felt safe for once. and, oddly enough, she felt as though she was changing. a feeling she liked and dreaded. as if something under her skin was clawing to get out.

she had not seen angel in some time. the female was busy with jor. she felt a twinge of jealousy. yet, she was happy for her sister. she understood why no one would like her. she was not the best looking and with only three legs.. she was hardly the best woman in the pitt. sighing silently, she shut those black blood misted orbs. taking in a deep breath of air and trying to forget it.

she was hardly in any position to complain about anything.

actions | "speech" | attacking

always dead heard the clearing of a throat and let her eyes flick open. head turning to look at the form of jor as he spoke. ears flicking forward as she took in his words. eyes clouding over as she looked down at her front paws. thinking over her answer with more thought than one would expect. most would be thrilled to have their sibling back and that would be that.

slowly sitting up, the woman would shift to pull her ink and paper from her satchel. i am happy she is back and that she will be okay. it's just.. how do i say this..? she paused a moment before sighing softly. then she would carry on writing.

before she came back i had no memory of my past. of who i was. of anything. now i do and i am not sure i want to remember. i was a leader. a queen. a mother of two. a wife. all of that is washed away, but i don't remember anything. the last memory i have was a river and then darkness. it is not something i want to remember.

she slide the paper over and looked up. eyes soft as she watched him.

actions | "speech" | attacking

the woman felt a small smile tug at her lips before she looked back at the paper. part of her wondered if her was right. she had been a cruel and violent queen. one that faught for her people, but did not hesitate to squash those that disobeyed her. she was more confident and calculated. she spoke in a seductive honey type voice.

she was perfect back then. now she was just a shell of what once was. some shadow of a lost greatness. the woman let his paw rest on her back as she thought about the things that now haunted her sleep. things that kept her awake and tormented at night. did she need to talk about it? part of her didn't know if she should.

pulling the notenook back, she would change the page and write again. i was a different person back then. confident, loved, wanted. i was stronger. i was able to fight for or against my people. i was fair but cruel all the same. i don't know if i was a good queen, but i cared. i cared and i tried. i just don't think i could ever be her again. not without him here.

she stopped writing and then shook her head. carrying on a moment later. but lets not dwell on my sorrows. how are you, jor? she adds as she slides the paper over to the male and lets her eyes flick up to him.

actions | "speech" | attacking

his words made her pause and she looked up to him with curious eyes. was she still confident in who she was? not in the slightest. she was more scared of the unknown now than she ever was before. she had no idea if she was loved. angel loved her, but others? she doubted that. she was not wanted like she had been back then. dead or alive, everyone knew her name and wanted her head or her love.

then he asked what made her so different. the question made her pause and she looked at her paws. her tail curling about her paws as she thought a moment. perhaps he was right? perhaps she was the same woman she once was? she could be the same woman and make others see who she truly was.

then he spoke again and she looked up. ears flicking back as she gazed into his eyes. she looked to the paper and wrote once more. he made me confident. that confidence made me the queen they all needed. she looked up and sighed that silent sigh. she missed her husband, or was it x now? her paw moved up to touch her necklace silently.

a golden ring hidden under her paw near the snake on her necklace. and then he spoke and she let her ears perk slightly. a pain he felt and so did she. her ears drooped and she looked at her paws as his words washed over her. when he fell silent, her eyes lifted up and she felt a dull ache in her heart.

i understand all to well. all we can do is keep on living our life. but, if you see them in your son, then you see them everyday when you visit him. it may not be the same, but it is a gift you should cling to. my kids were so different i could have never seen my daughter in my son.

she paused and then a bitter look entered her eyes. my daughter was a healer. sweet and loving. loyal and kind. she was strong enough to stand up for the right thing and would never back down. she paused in her writing to take a ragged breath.

my son was a monster from the start. i loved him, but he did not love me. he was cold and cruel. he killed without care. no mercy. he was my child and i would never trade him. but i wish i could have seen my daughter in him after she passed. so, jor, you should love every minute of your son. take time to play and just relax together. but never let go of the memories of your other kids. that pain never leaves, but one day you will walk the stars with them again and everything will be worth it.


actions | "speech" | attacking

His comment made a faint smile tug her lips. Jor seemed wise and she hoped he was right. She desperately needed him to be right. She wanted to be confident in herself. Yet, here she was, hiding behind telepathy for fear she might hurt someone. Afraid of herself and not willing to admit it. Was she smart or a coward? She was not even sure herself.

His comment about her daughter made her snap out of her own thoughts. Leaning on him a moment before sitting up and speaking again. Her telepathy was a little softer as if her voice changed.  "Thank you. She was my angel in dark times and deserved more than she ever had."

A smile curved her lips once again as he said he would see his kids again. Tail swishing out behind her before curling tightly about her paws. He then asked what it was about her long dead husband that made her confident. Her heartaches at this and she looked away before speaking.

"The way he treated me like i was never a monster. The way he looked at me when even others were disgusted in me. He gave me a voice. He stood by me and faught for me. Even when he knew the kids were tearing my heart with the way things were changing. He always had the words to keep me going." she replied softly.

actions | "telepathy" | attacking