[OOC: also can I say BAI'S PROFILE PIC IS AWESOME!!!]

Times like these, Kydobi sought isolation. Quiet peace from the screams of the tortured. Escape from the gaunt and exhausted look from the prisoners. The accusations in their redrimmed eyes. It's his fault.

He did nothing to stop it.

And more and more recruits filing in everyday. No doubt there was a can't beat them then join them mentality. Kydobi hated it. Loathed it. It was all so draining.Everywhere he went he couldn't escape. There was always a coppery scent in the wind. His senses were sharper than most, and he couldn't help but hear the cries miles away.

He couldn't block it out.

He couldn't stop it.

Often he overloaded in the canopy. The dead quiet. Writhing in visceral agony.

He had fallen so far and he climbed the trees because they brought him peace. He slept the days away, because every time he came down to mingle there was some sign of violence.


And Lynn? They seemed to have adapted too well. It scared Kydobi. And where was little Ramona in all this? He hadn't seen her. Feared the worst, did she die in battle? Thinking of him? Trying to make them proud?

He needed to leave. But he saw how fast the Pitt was growing and he knew there would be no way to stop the rushing tide. Funny to think that the dragon that had predicted the wars, was now on the side causing them. He wouldn't leave though, stay on the winning side.

Exhausting.

But today, he was down. Today he was not hiding away. Because no body ever really wants to be alone. So it would seem that he would come across his dear friend. Familiar and yet Kydobi felt he no longer knew them anymore. He didn't know anyone. Or anything. He had lost his noble reason for staying in the Pitt. His cowardice kept him here.

Quietly he treaded, no longer comfortable with his homelands. It was always this way when he first was on the ground. He walked as if he was an intruder, trying to not be detected. He always heard something, today was an especially off day. He walked, so focused on his auditory senses that he did not smell or see the blind jaguar by him.

[OOC: ))) art trades are the best]

Hmm? The jaguar tensed as he heard his name, but eased a little once he realized who it was.

"I can't really crash through anything anymore...", he spoked referring to his intangibility powers, "well... maybe. I haven't really gotten that all down yet."

And he never would. But lately Kydobi had the physical presence of a ghost. Hell he was becoming one wasn't he? Haunting the canopy. Miserable. A lost soul. Wandering the terrain in search of something he couldn't even really find.


"It's a time of chaos... I have no reason to be relaxed and content.", everything is becoming exactly what I tried to avoid.


He didn't want to open up right now. He had kept himself so far from everyone that it was hard to let go and tell all. Even if it was someone like them.

"Sure... a walk sounds okay.", he would stand, waiting for them to join his side.

[OOC: ]

"I don't think I've ever heard you quiet before. Usually you would have spit out a couple wise sayings by now."

Just to break the silence. The quiet had settled into his fur no matter how short and he wouldn't let it drag on. He knew it wasn't the type caused by thought more so than the type caused by the awkward mix of unsaid things. It just made him want to leave to the canopy again.

He cleared his throat and looked at the ground. Unsure who should take the first step into this "walk".

"You seem... to have.. fit in well here."

[OOC: ]

He inhaled deeply. It felt like his friend was avoiding the result of their actions.

Whether they meant to or not, "But you still did. You brought him to the Pitt instead of letting them escape. You brought that ape to a place he will never leave. You brought him into the grasps of a monster who tortures children out of pride."

He quieted as a realization hit him. He was no better. He stayed here. Still, after all the things he disapproved of.

"But I have no right to judge.. I'm sorry. At the end of the day my cowardice is all that keeps me here... At first it was Ramona.. But she doesn't seem to want anything to do with me. Then it was for you. But once again in my life I fear I found nothing."

Paw steps were soft but not as soft as his words. Emotions were flooding him and knowing he was in the presence of Bai only fanned the flames. His throat tightening and his mouth dried as his ears pinned back.


"I don't want to be here anymore...", a delicate whisper, hoarse and quiet. As if he was scared of letting himself hear the truth as if he didn't know it. When he said here he meant the world on a larger scale, not just the Pitt. He meant his life, "I don't want to be here. I wake up everyday sick to my stomach. The smell... The screams. The blood. Everything. And yet I'm scared to leave because I fear Jervis."

He laughed, a low chuckle, "I'm scared of a tiny fox. A-and when I think about how to rid the world of him... I can't help but realize he has acquired his power for a reason. He has kept his power for some reason. I can't figure it out...."

He flicked his tail, ringing it out in an attempt to comfort himself. His eyes were glossy and bright as ever, borderline madness. They would move to meet the blind ones.

"I'm going to die here. The Pitt is going to kill me. Be it battle, poison, or heart break. I wake up everyday and all I feel... is... is bad. I feel terror. Disgust."

He felt a little better, letting all that out. But it wasn't enough to make him feel safer or lighten the weight on his shoulders. It wasn't enough. In fact, speaking it out loud made it feel like he signed a contract. That he only made these things more definite. It only added weight.

Kydobi exhaled, and inhaled deeply before sighing.

[OOC: ]

During their time, Kydobi would remain quiet. Soaking in every word they had to say. Bai was nothing if not truthful to him. He allowed their sea of words to calm his storm, gently did he come down. His heart slowed after that confession.

Finally when they were finished Ky would dare speak. There would be a brief moment of silence as he mulled over everything.

"Yes. We fear him, no better than everyone else. I'm afraid my words are bigger than my heart. And this is fine. Perhaps I'll get the courage to leave someday."


He swallowed, looking at the fellow cat. Kydobi loved watching his own species. Jaguars, leopards, lions, tigers, and everything in between. They were all so unique. But he had a special fondness for jaguars. Sure leopards were similar but their was something.... divine about jaguars. Just being around his own kind comforted him.

It reminded him of home. Before things were uprooted. The quiet when the world was kind and calm to him and his brother.

Eyes would shift over to Bai, a hesitant step closer and then he would move all at once to nuzzle his nose in their ear. Eyes closed, he would seek comfort in the warmth. Inhaling the familiar scent and exhaling shakily. His nose would move down their ear to their cheek bone, lightly tracing their muzzle before he pushed his own cheek softly against their face.

He pulled away. It would always be this way. He would yearn to feel affection, to give and receive love. And when he attempted such, he would feel himself liking it too much. It would conjure memories of betrayal and he would stop himself. For fear of becoming too attached. Because everyone he loved, he had lost or been shown a different side of.

Clearing his throat he would look at his paws and then back up at them when he remembered they could not see.


"But I don't want to be alone anymore. Since I was a yearling I grew up in isolation. Having spent my youth in exile, I don't want to feel that way anymore. At least here... Even if among the thieves and murderers, I know I am apart of something... No matter how terrible. No matter how bad I want to leave it."

Kydobi licked his shoulder nervously, trying to snap shut the open chest of buried memories and pains. He would instead focus on who and just what was in front of him. While he wasn't sure who Lynn was internally, he was awfully familiar with the form they took externally. He liked it. It was home.

"Let's find a good spot to relax in privacy. I prefer the deepest of the jungle, away from buildings and people.", he knew he contradicted himself in a way. But even when he hid in the trees, he still was... somewhere where people knew who he was and valued him.

The jaguar was exhausted, he yearned for Bai's affection. Remembering how good it felt to be coiled in the golden dragons warmth. How good he felt providing a protective shelter with his body for the sorrowful fox with silver tears. But these were things he would never admit. He had missed the jungle gym phase where he learned how to cut roses and confess kindergarten love. Prior to meeting Bai he had never ever known what it was like to embrace another in a way other than sexual. It was romantic. It was a feeling he did not know and therefore feared because he didn't know how to manage it. But now he had a taste of the soft feeling of another's body. He had lain with another, only once. But it was pure lust. No emotions.

His heart had never reached out for someone before.

"I think we both need to feel the embrace of a friend.", he said his words carefully, not trying to give away that he desired to hold them in a way more than platonic. But he wanted to let them know his intentions were of the sort that require touch. But he would throw it in the air in case Bai Shi didn't desire the same. If so he braced himself for that denial.

But if they agreed he was also praying they wouldn't speak of feelings. When mentioned, Kydobi shuts them out. He gets defensive and quickly closes his books.